How do you.....

[Heid]

OK, pre Broadway this might be a bit of a mistake - but in the Spirit of all that is Blonde I will go ahead and call on the lovelies in the forum to help me.

I get very stressed before and during live play, so stressed, I make silly mistakes, panic, and do things that I would NEVER EVER normally do. I also turn into a small pebble on Brighton beach.

It's getting better - I know it is purely psychological, and due to some issues I am working through.

I am getting some expert help (no, not shhrinks! Well past that!), and they know who they are and they know I am VERY grateful - but I wanted to know how you lot deal with stress, and nerves before and during games.

DO I have a couple of drinks to just calm me down and loosen me up?  Did anyone conquer this? How the hell did you do it?

It is frustrating the whatsits off me, and while it is getting easier, it's not going away....I want it banished... help!

Any suggestions, anecdotes, ideas...?

Tar!

Heid
xx

[dik9]

Diazapan's cool

[Trace]

Try some Bach Rescue Remedy, start taking it a few days before, and take some with you, if all else fails - just get PISSED!!!

T
xx

[Heid]

Try some Bach Rescue Remedy, start taking it a few days before, and take some with you, if all else fails - just get PISSED!!!

T
xx

Yeah .. I will try the rescue remedy - I have issues about getting pissed, so that's difficult (I don't have issues with alcohol - or other people getting pissed, just me being drunk - I know I am strange).

[mikkyT]

Do whatever you find relaxing, and more importantly, keep it normal! I know a few guys who would never be able to play cards in a cardroom because of the fact that smoking dope is an everyday occurance for them and they are so reliant upon it that when they don't smoke (such as when its banned), its something out of the ordinary and so they can't play properly. Ever doomed to the home game or internet.

[Dingdell]

I see myself at the table beforehand - what I mean is I normally think about things in the car on the way and already see me sitting at the table not scared and in control. I think through how I will be when i raise or call a hand and how I will look at the table, my posture etc.

During a game - if it's going badly, i check my posture, normally find I am slouching and  straighten myself up - bring myself back into the game so to speak and start playing again. Unless I keep a check on myself I become a spectator and not a player and suddenly find I'm anted away having enjoyed watching other people play - an expensive way to watch poker but common if you are a social player like me.  That said I have to remind myself to want to win, otherwise I get caught up in the social side of the table too much.

I try hard not to be social - but I have to instill the fighting spirit in me before I get to any game. i think we are all in control to some extent of our results - if we enter a game wanting to win we will do better than if we go into the game wanting fun. I know blokes will sneer at this - but it's much easier for blokes (I think) to want to win - because they are built like that. Women mentally don't have that 'hit them over the head' instinct that men do - and that is why women find it more difficult to do well in poker - imho.  We are kind and lovely and dont want to upset people (cough cough) while men just plough through and woe betide anyone that gets in the way!

Just my thoughts.....Tracey
 

[TightEnd]

soothing music on an ipod (something like whales snoring or dolphins whistling!)

relax, you are good enough

enjoy, after all you could be sausage stuffing with a hair net on

table image, dont let them (me!) bully you.

and if you have the goods, sitck it up em with authority not reticence.

[Trace]

Try some Bach Rescue Remedy, start taking it a few days before, and take some with you, if all else fails - just get PISSED!!!

T
xx

Yeah .. I will try the rescue remedy - I have issues about getting pissed, so that's difficult (I don't have issues with alcohol - or other people getting pissed, just me being drunk - I know I am strange).

Not strange Heid - prob for same reasons I don't drink and if I do, I stop as soon as I feel myself getting pissed.

[TightEnd]

I see myself at the table beforehand - what I mean is I normally think about things in the car on the way and already see me sitting at the table not scared and in control. I think through how I will be when i raise or call a hand and how I will look at the table, my posture etc.

During a game - if it's going badly, i check my posture, normally find I am slouching and  straighten myself up - bring myself back into the game so to speak and start playing again. Unless I keep a check on myself I become a spectator and not a player and suddenly find I'm anted away having enjoyed watching other people play - an expensive way to watch poker but common if you are a social player like me.  That said I have to remind myself to want to win, otherwise I get caught up in the social side of the table too much.

I try hard not to be social - but I have to instill the fighting spirit in me before I get to any game. i think we are all in control to some extent of our results - if we enter a game wanting to win we will do better than if we go into the game wanting fun. I know blokes will sneer at this - but it's much easier for blokes (I think) to want to win - because they are built like that. Women mentally don't have that 'hit them over the head' instinct that men do - and that is why women find it more difficult to do well in poker - imho.  We are kind and lovely and dont want to upset people (cough cough) while men just plough through and woe betide anyoen that gets in the way!

Just my thoughts.....Tracey
 

interesting question, competitive instincts in both sexes and how it applies to poker

and by the way, if you are ever in a pot with Dingdell, she's got the table image stuff worked out

[Trace]

soothing music on an ipod (something like whales snoring or dolphins whistling!)

relax, you are good enough

enjoy, after all you could be sausage stuffing with a hair net on

table image, dont let them (me!) bully you.

and if you have the goods, sitck it up em with authority not reticence.

And if you don't just kick them all in the nads and run like hell!

[ACE2M]

get there early, having something to eat and mill around the cardroom for five mintues and be excited not stressed, as you love to play poker.. it's not a scary thing it's a great thing.

I go bright red and my heart beats at a million miles an hour on the 1st pot i win, after this i'm fine.

[Heid]

Try some Bach Rescue Remedy, start taking it a few days before, and take some with you, if all else fails - just get PISSED!!!

T
xx

Yeah .. I will try the rescue remedy - I have issues about getting pissed, so that's difficult (I don't have issues with alcohol - or other people getting pissed, just me being drunk - I know I am strange).

Not strange Heid - prob for same reasons I don't drink and if I do, I stop as soon as I feel myself getting pissed.

Exactly .. it's a control thing... if I am going to get pissed then I have to be with people I really trust, and know .. or else I panic, and not ususally in a public place either.

Sheesh I sound a real basket case now <g>

The Trace's around here have their heads screwed on I reckon.

It is different for a woman at a poker table, and it is difficult to maintain a fighting spirit, and it's easy to let your guard down.

All good points, I have thinking to do .. keep em coming...

[suzanne]

I know what you mean Heidi, I played my first live game at Notts and my nerves were shot to hell. It was suggested that I have some Red Bull which I tried and it did seem to help until I realized Nemesis was sitting opposite me  
I tried to imagine I was at home sitting in front of the pc and that worked till Robert stared me out grrrrrrr

[RED-DOG]

Heid, I used to be so nervous/excited before and during live games that I was almost physically sick

It does get better as live play becomes more familiar to you, although even now I still shake like a leaf for the first few hands, I think it's just adrenalin because I no longer feel nervous at all

The best advice I can give you is take it slowly, don't rush your decisions, don't worry about what others will think of your play.

When under pressure people often make hasty decisions, or push all their chips in so that they don't have to spend any more time in the spotlight and they don't have to make any more tough choices

Try to play every hand to the best of your ability, but don't be to hard on yourself, remember, you are a novice.
Imagine if a novice in any other sport had to play along side seasoned pro's

It will get better, I promise

[thetank]

Here's an anecdote of something similar that I went through Heid.

I hadn't played much at all live when I went to my first festival a couple of months ago.

I was one of around 30 players left in a £100 re-buy pot limit event when I had what can only be described as a panic attack.

I was quite low on chips, but then doubled up twice. When I won another large pot knocking someone out I was all-in with AK aginst QQ and started shaking, one of my cards hit and the dealer pushed me the pot. I tried to stack my chips but my hands were still shaking. It took all my concentration to get them in a pile. I felt like the room was getting smaller, people were talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying, I suddenly felt very hot and the shaking wouldn't stop.

I stood up and staggered away from the table, went outside to get some air, one of the cardroom staff asked me if I was ok. I could only muster a soft mumble by way of reply. They brought me a glass of water. The air and water were good, but I needed to sit down. There was a perfectly good seat at the poker table but I felt I wasn't ready to return yet. I didn't care that I was being blinded away, as I was in no condition to be in charge of my chips till I pulled myself together.

I sat down for 10 minutes away from the table to compose myself. One of the dealers who'd just got off duty sat next to me and I talked with him. It would be more accurate to say he talked to me, as I didn't say much. I was happy for him to do so as he was dead nice. In between rambling about this and that he said something, a little soundbite, that has stayed with me.

It wasn't a particularly wise or clever bit of advice. Nor do I understand why it has helped me so much. It's so simple and obvious, that if I saw it written down in a book or an article, or even in a post on an internet forum, then I would have been likely to instantly dismiss it. Something though, perhaps the way he said it, has made it stay with me and take it to heart. I'm pleased to say I've never had any similar problems since. I think what that dealer said that day has a lot to do with this.

I never did get that dealer's name, or thank him properly for helping me so much. It was the 2nd last day of the festival. The following day, at the main event, I looked for him to say ta but he was nowhere to be seen. Sometimes I'm not altogether sure it was a real person speaking to me that night. Perhaps he was a figment of my imagination, in my confused state I could possibly have confused the two and was speaking to myself (or listning to myself) the whole time. I like to think he was a poker angel though, who came down from on high to help me in my moment of need and gave me a little nugget, one simple little sentence, that I will carry with me throughout the rest of my poker career.

Whether real, imaginary or supernatural I'd like to say to him... Thankyou very much.