blonde poker forum

I love great quotations, from the funny to the meaningful I look out for them all the time


Do this as you wish, and here's a few to start you off


" After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse "  WC Fields

" I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe...I beleive what I believe is right" George W Bush

"whats another word for thesaurus?" Steven Wright

"Women are meant to be loved, not understood" Oscar Wilde

"Buy land. They've stopped making it" Mark Twain

"I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception" Groucho Marx

 

"  Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition "..

"Either this wall paper goes or I do"
Oscar Wildes last words

If it's not one thing it's your Mother ...  (Peter Kay)


Put big light on ...   (Peter Kay)

Garlic bread....Gralic BREAD! - peter Kay  :D :D

Some famous last words

"Friends applaud, the comedy is over" Beethoven

"Who is it? Billy the kid, upon meeting Pat Garret

"Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub" US hotelier Conrad Hilton on being asked for a final message for his family


 

"an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"  ........ Ghandi

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house". - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"You're not a real manager unless you've been sacked." - Malcolm Allison

"I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"It was a woman that turned me to drink... I wish i had the good sense to thank her" ...WC Fields

Other famous last words


Wheres all this water coming from .... captain of the Titanic

What the f**k was that ....... Mayor of Hiroshima

Let her drive, what harm can she do up here .... Captain of the space shuttle

"I've spent loads of money on women, booze and fast cars. The rest of it I've just wasted." - George Best.

My 3 favourite (more serious) quotes are my signature.

On Spike Milligans Grave and my mothers

I Told You I was ill

LOL

Mark Twain on poker:

''There are few things so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker.....It is enough to make one ashamed of one's species.''


Mark Twain on matt674:

''What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.''


Benjamin Disraeli on the Hand Analysis board:

''This shows how much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.''

A few qoutes from Amarillo Slim

"You can shear a sheep many times but skin it only once."

"Poker is a game of people... It's not the hand I hold, it's the people that I play with."

"Look around the table.  If you don't see a sucker, get up, because you're the sucker."

"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker."

"They anticipate losing when they sit down and I try my darndest not to disappoint one of them."

A similar one from a boxer - I think maybe George Foreman - when someone asked him what he spent all his money on.

"Fast women and slow horses".

favourite quote!!   "in the poker game of life, women are the rake, they are the f**king rake"  by les murphy/worm a.k.a ed norton

The best line is the line after: "What saying? Who the f*ck says that?"

i dont know, but there ought to be one.....class.   OMG  she made of with ur sheets!

You do realise I'm now going to have to watch Rounders again this evening?

ive seen rounders over 500 times and know the whole script word for word! how sad is that? i even know he was $20,500 in profit b4 his boat got busted!  another great quote, im gonna lay down top 2 pair, coz u got 2 4 and im not gonna draw against a made hand!

do you know what cards the fella folded headsup against matt damon? (the final hand)

George Best

"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life."


Not so famous saying:

thegaffer1

"If u don't ask u don't get."

He had 10, 10 mate.

just as well he decided not to overplay one pair then Mystery, ia m sure you agree.

He had a set of tens actually :D

Sorry mate but you are wrong and i have proof  :)up

" Just pay the man his f*ckin money"

he doesnt swear!! he says, pay him..........pay that man his money.

this the hand?
Looks like trip 10 s to me too

[attachment deleted by admin]

the black card isnt a 10, it doesnt even look like a 10........ a 10 has 2 rows of 4 with 2 in the middle, this has 2 rows of 3, its an 8

Looks like 10-8 to me

yep, thats wot i think, that black card is not a 10

Granted from the normal photo it looks like a ten but when you zoom in on it it does look like its not :dontask:

trust me, there is nothing i dont know about rounders, KJB hand was never in the script, they were just 2 random cards he was holding

That lokks like the   8s and 9h to me

its not the  8s matt damon was holding  8s  9s, the 2 cards are the  8c and its either a red 10 or 9, god knows where ifm got trip 10s from?

Those cards were not the KGB's hole cards, KGB thew the deck at the table and the cards flew everywhere, you never get to see teddy KGB's hole cards.

exactly!

After reading this I had to go home and put my rounders DVD to the test, you lot had me questioning myself

And back to the original (off) topic :

"The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. "

Chris Walken - True Romance

YeeeeeHaaaawwww!!!   (some cowboy or other)

"Ironside is a fish" some blondite or other.

"Destroy the flop"      Con Cronin

"' Ave it "    Peter Kaye

"call and its all over baby!! " Scotty Nuguyen on the hand that won him the WSOP in 1998 ( i think )

To the man who knows everything about Rounders.....

What accent was John Malkovich's character using?

I think it was pidgeon American Russian Gaelic

WRONG..Dove American Russian Gaelic

Cheese cake?? Cheeeese .... Cake???   ( Peter Kay )

Garlic Bread??....Garlic Bread??......Bread With Garlic????

From i think Greg Norman or Jack Nicklaus

 "The more i practise the luckier i get"

And written on a Blues Guitarists Gravestone......... " Didn't wake up this morning "

And for those that remember my heat where i beat Barny heads up , after he moved in on the river with his top set of kings , i stood up and said " I guess that means i win " and turned over QT for the nuts which i had flopped , his face was one of total disbelief.

ACES

Your as much use as a chocolate fireguard!!

you couldnt organise a p*ss up in a brewery!!

Your as much use as an ashtray on a moterbike!!

Chicken Tarka like tikka but otter!!

you have got more chance of me doing that than plaiting fog!!

Just a few i remember from my childhood hope you like them xx

Here are a few of my own Tightend - hope you enjoy!

I have lived, for not only have I learnt to love - but I have tasted chocolate under the influence

My youth and wisdom never got to meet - in fact, I don’t think they even greeting each other in passing.

I never feared the possibility of failure - but stagnating as a person scared the shit out of me

If man learns from mistakes - then I have learned so much

How can I complain when I can no longer die young?

A man should be like a tree and branch out in every direction.

Guilt and I used to walk hand in hand - now we don’t even talk to each other.

At last I have a dogs life - for I can now give as well as receive unconditional love

I measure my wealth by the people in my life

Death and I have made our peace - but I still tell it to fuck off every day

That reminds me, here's the list of quotes from Late Night Poker - I love your one about the right thing at the right time.

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0264986/quotes (http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0264986/quotes)

Is Jesse May's date of birth right - he's only 26? Or have they got him mixed up with another Jesse May?

Doh!    ( Homer Simpson)

... the king is dead, long live the king.

 "Elvis has just left the building "
Apparently came about as he never did an encore.

Chinese proverb

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day  ;D

US comic Steven Wright

" I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him "Come here Stay. Come here Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me"

"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends"

MMMMmmmmmm donuts  ( Homer Simpson )

MMMMmmmmmm Duff beer ( Homer Simpson )

 :cheers: :ironside: :cheers: :ironside:

"3-0 and you ****** it 3-0 and you ****** it up"   
Wycombe Fans to Macclesfield fans after we came from 3-0 down to lead 4-3, we then conceded two in 5 minutes to lose 5-4.

"Not when I breathe but when I love I live" 
A 16th century catholic poet.  Used it at my brothers wedding in the Best mans speech.  Bought the house down and my brothers in laws all think I'm great.

Quote from Dave "el-blondie - monty burns " Colclough at the Cincins cash game.

El-blondie : "How can you call me with  Aspades high?"

Me: " because I knew you were Bluffing!!"

El-blondie: "back in my day we would never have done that!!!!!!"

You can park your car anywhere providing your hazard warning lights are flashing, even on the centre spot at Wembley during the FA cup final.

( Craig Charles )

;yellowcard; ;yellowcard; :redcard:

Thats probably the most watchable thing at wembley these days.

 ;iagree; rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

Just remembered a corker from Jimmy Greaves.

"Emile Heskey has an awful first touch. It goes further than I can kick a ball these days. His second touch is worse - it's usually a sliding tackle!"

i remember greaves saying the exact same thing about mark hately baron. it must have been one of his favourite quotes as well ;D

Steven Wright is the quote-meister

My favourite is 'Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines' - trully words to live your life by

Another Steven Wright:


"You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths"

And another

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

and

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Why was Mystery721 banned?

He insulted Ironside in a PM i think.

"They could not hit an elephant at this distance." Last words of General Sedgwick before dying to a snipers bullet.



“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection. — Groucho Marx, 1890-1977

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm"
  Winston Churchill

And boy did i ever prove him wrong!!

Ok maybe not :(

My favourite..........

"It was Sooooted"

 >:(

He should of done what the rest of us do and insult him openly then!   lol

J/K Iron hun xxxxx