blonde poker forum

thanks to a good friend who bought me a book full of these


In Nebraska, it is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state licence

In Alaska it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose

In Montana it is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of a truck without a chaperone

In Iowa a man with a moustache is forbidden to kiss any woman in public


For some reason these stood out for me...

any useless facts coming back at me?

Dont you mean Aberdeen!

Moustaches should be illegal anywhere at any time full stop.....

Correct - and in Wales a chaperone is only required if the sheep and the driver havent been formally introduced....

will these be on the next quiz?

you'd get them wrong anyway mate

In the Isle of Man it is legal to Kill a Scotsman on Douglas Beach on Christmas day :D

The Paomnnehal Pweor Of The Hmuan Mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch as Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Don't ask me why its just Christmas day???

Pardon?  :blonde: :goodpost:

Have you been speaking to ironside?

why just Xmas day?

I had smoetnihg silimar emialed to me a wihle ago. amzaing isnt it?

In fcat it was taht that inpsierd the spelilgn thraed

oiii. uncalled for (but probably true). I shall be having words if I see you tonight

The higher the airport, the longer the runway that is needed due to the lower air density

In Connersville Wisconscin, no man shall shoot off a gun whilst his female partner is having a sexual orgasm

Fifty two percent of Americans think early man coexisted with dinosaurs

on that note, it is still legal to kill a scotsman from the walls of york town, provided its with a crossbow only!

i was there a while back for a conference, and was shitting myself - i knew they would be gunning (or bowing) for the top Jock!  8)

These, apparently are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous":      

 tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

dont the other 48% believe in creationism and that there were no dinasaurs at all
I don't Adam and Eve it

 -- In Bakersfield, California, anyone having intercourse with Satan
must use a condom. (An asbestos one we presume.)
 
 -- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
 
 -- In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse
with a live fish.  (Apparently it's OK for woman.)
 
 -- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
 
 -- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with
you -- or holding you in his arms.
 
 -- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
if they're nude.  
 
 -- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
love on the floor between the beds!
 
 -- The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even
if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have
sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.
 
 -- An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
 
 -- A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
 
 -- In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity
with the lights on.
 
 -- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of
a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."
 
 -- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two
minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
 
 -- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing. (Ouch! These pasties hurt!)

 -- Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered
species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows
or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Insectophiles apparently were
successful in their lobbying efforts.)

dik9 discovers google...........

A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in the world in relation to its size.



Now how would I know that one ...

AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I could tell you a story about someone I know... but this is a familly forum  ;tk;

In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.

In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven.

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.


Why are most of these stupid Laws American????

New York? LOL

In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.  WTF???

Texas Law states that when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light !

With all these laws against sex its amazing that they have managed to continue the american race ..........but unfortunately they have! (Brian Wison excepted of course!) ;-)

In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer !

Colchester Kiv last seen applying for a green card and work visa

Sod google i am bored, but i remember that their isn't a word in the English language that rhymms with Orange

what a great idea that is, should be adopted globally.

In 1985, a pregnant women was falsely accused of shoplifting a basketball.

Chester
You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Hereford
You can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close.

York
Upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays.

Scotland
You may not fish on Sundays.
It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.
Trespassing on someone else's land is legal.
You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes.
If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your commode, you must let them enter.  

thank goodness, there were no coppers about last night then! lol

LOOOOOOOOL

Or Month

very true mate

sceptical will check  :D

Your foot is as long as the length between your wrist and your elbow

I gave my little boy the tesco mag last week to keep him quiet , got home and was leafing through the pages and came across the worlds craziest laws , so heres a few for you to  rotflmfao rotflmfao at.

IN Rajasthan , India , carrot seeds are thought to be a contraceptive and woman are required by law to eat them in a bid to help control the population .

Under an old law in Birmingham Alabama , couples can be fined $25 if they make love " on the steps of any church after the sun goes down "

In Hartford Conneticut an 18th century law forbids anyone to " teach or endeavour  to try to educate dog "........... go figure !!

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins who pay for the privelege of having sex for the first time.

Reason: under Guam law, it is forbidden for virgins to marry.

You wont find that one down the job centre  rotflmfao

lord nelson, did not wear an eye patch, the myth started from a childrens book illustration.

When the Indians were kicked off there land in Kansas. They moved calling there new home OUR KANSAS..or Arkansas.

I know this as im married to a mohawk From Arkansas

The parents of Albert Einstein were worried that he was mentally slow because it took him a long time to learn how to speak


and one for Kev...........

Instead of a Birthday Cake, many Russian children are given a Birthday Pie

canada is so-called because when settlers met native canadian indians

the indians  said canada   which meant follow me   but the settlers thought they were telling them where they were

your face is the size of your palm

your height is the same length as your arm span

how can this be true

i have been to america countless times and i can say as a matter of fact  that less than 52% of americans can think

reply to the nuns post, i can read ur post as fast as i could if it were written in the correct order, wot is written is completly true! and in kentucky it is a legal requirment to bath once a year and in alaska it is illegal to have sex with a dead fish (is it ok if its alive?)

and the kangaroo is so called because someone asked an Aboriginie what it was & he replied Kangaroo - which meant I don't know.

Drummer keith moon is responsible for Led Zepplin getting their name.

You win most of your poker money from putting your opponents in a position to make big mistakes and not from your own brilliant play.




There are 2,598,960 possible poker hands with 52 cards.   :o

\o responses to that as all the male blondites are on a plane to Guam.....

Useless fact 213: Since records began kitten kidnapping's in the Manchester area were at an all time low between 3rd January 2006 and 12th January 2006..........

 rotflmfao ;applause;

manchester - is that somewhere up north?

I am getting my own - newly single and need something to cuddle at night...........kitten on its way........ ;cheerleader; ;cheerleader;

C'mon - dont pretend you dont know where Manchester is!!! Here's a picture of the number 1 suspect in the kitten kidnappings - police say the person is cunningly disguised but you cant fool us monkeys i know i've seen this picture somewhere before!!!



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 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

I really hope one day i meet you at a blonde bash......!

This is so funny I have actually had to ring TE and tell him to read the thread.......I am beaten...... ;tightend; ;tightend; ;tightend;

Well done Matt I have been trying for months to beat her.

Have a gold star

:redcard:

Thats an arrestable offence - by a police offier in uniform - another useless fact......

If you are stopped by a traffic officer in the UK he must be fully clothed including his hat otherwise its illegal......

Thank you i will look forward to it, although there are probably 100 or so people who will try and convince you otherwise after the first blonde bash :)


Thank you :) is this like the FPP scheme on pokerstars?? If i collect several Gold Stars can i trade them in for prizes or even better..... bananas?

Should i ask how/why all this came about?!?!?!

go to top of the banana tree ;) 

i wish - you'd never see me again!! :)

(ok so that idea probably appeals to some...... ;))

Here's a quick test of intelligence. There are no tricks to the test, and it looks pretty simple. But let's see how YOU do. Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them QUICKLY AND ONLY ONCE. Do not go back and count them again. What is your answer?

but monkey brains recognise the letter F in the word OF, so we have a head start over you humans.........

p.s. 11 by the way :)

oh wait - it helps if you dont get arkwright to read the sentence out to you!!

"Ger-ger-ger-granville, fer-fer-fer-fer-fetch your cloth......"

Useless facts - banana trees aren't trees.

and technically they are a berry not a fruit and collectively they should be referred to as a hand not a bunch........

oh yeah and they are soft and squidgy and yummy :)

Well - you get a hand, but it comes off a bunch. (When I was  kid abroad we had an acre of banana 'trees' down the hill from the house - my mum made brilliant banana bread from them... haven't tasted it in years).

ok ok ok, enough already.

I've still got 5 & 3/4 hours to go at work and i cant spend all that time salivating over the thought of bananas, we will reconvene this thread and all the talk of wonderful banana recipies later this evening  :D

No bother - I'll get my Mum to email me the recipe when I speak to her next. :D

(http://www.chins-n-quills.com/forums/images/smilies/bump.gif)

And a shameless one at that in an attempt to secure a banana based recipe for the blonde bash next month!!  :D

watch it

i understood that perfect

My Mum's going to email it to me tonight - so I'll post it tomorrow. BTW the best bananas for it are over-ripe ones.... that could be a stumbling point for you  :D

Cheers - you could just pass it on to me at the blonde bash and then also you could explain this concept of "over-ripe" as it is something new to me ;)

I was told a banana was a nut, and have every since told everyone this as fact.
Now you're telling me it's a Berry ????!!!!    :o       

Well smartxxs, they're actually fast-growing herbaceous perennials arising from underground rhizomes. 
hmmmm.....Berries then.
I knew that      ;hide;

From a monkeys prespective so long as they stay soft and squidgy and yummy i dont really care what they are called ;)