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Title: The offside rules for girls... Post by: jammer on January 31, 2006, 02:26:51 PM You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper. Understand it now doris? :D Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: patman on January 31, 2006, 02:28:26 PM lol
any chance of defining it for the referees now...most seem to struggle Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: PointsUp on January 31, 2006, 02:29:56 PM rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Sheriff Fatman on January 31, 2006, 02:58:09 PM You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper. Understand it now doris? :D ;applause; ;tightend; ;applause; ;tightend; ;applause; You reading this, Mrs Sheriff? Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: AwesomeAli on January 31, 2006, 03:01:44 PM You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper. Understand it now doris? :D ;applause; ;tightend; ;applause; ;tightend; ;applause; You reading this, Mrs Sheriff? Sheriff, of course she is - there are shoes involved!! Ali Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: RED-DOG on January 31, 2006, 03:03:15 PM Thats a great post Jim, even I understand it now
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Claw75 on January 31, 2006, 03:04:21 PM All well and good but, techinically, should the shop assistant not be waiting in front of the till rather than behind (presuming she represents the goalie)?
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: snoopy1239 on January 31, 2006, 03:05:24 PM You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes, always remembering that until the purse had actually been thrown it would be just plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper. Understand it now doris? :D ;slavedriver; Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Sheriff Fatman on January 31, 2006, 03:06:17 PM Sheriff, of course she is - there are shoes involved!! Ali Quite scarily appropriate for someone who has a limo sent to her by the manager of the Jimmy Choo shop whenever she lands in Vegas. Sheriff Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: NoflopsHomer on January 31, 2006, 03:08:28 PM Best. Post. Ever. :D
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Rod Paradise on January 31, 2006, 03:24:56 PM Sent it to my ex (who is a football fanatic - we still go to away games together as ssorting the bank account, house, car etc was easier than splitting up the Away Ticket Group for Celtic games :D)
Her reply.... Quote See, my understanding (and I appreciate I'm only a girl) was that you couldn't be in an offside position from a throw-in. Is that wrong? (middle finger smillie) Sometimes I'm glad to be single - sarky bint :D Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Trace on January 31, 2006, 03:38:00 PM Look at the end of the day if I like the shoes and they are cheap, sod the woman in front I aint ever gonna see her again anyway, of course I'm gonna push in front - m8's purse in the air or not.
I'm a woman and I WANT those shoes!!! Sheesh you men just DON'T get it do you? Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: AdamM on January 31, 2006, 04:06:44 PM and what make Van Nistelroy so good is he mills around at the front of the queue all day with no money then, when the opportunity arrises he darts to second in the queue, someone throws the purse then he darts back. thats why he scores so many...er...shoes
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: essex GirL on January 31, 2006, 04:10:44 PM i'm wiv trace on this ..... i'd just push past and if she wanted to tackle me good luck to her.... maybe she would get the shoes but theyd be stuck somewhere and it wdnt be on her feet :D
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: londonpokergirl on January 31, 2006, 04:50:12 PM lol i'm with Trace aswell on this one
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Trace on January 31, 2006, 05:04:09 PM i'm wiv trace on this ..... i'd just push past and if she wanted to tackle me good luck to her.... maybe she would get the shoes but theyd be stuck somewhere and it wdnt be on her feet :D And I was so trying not to be violent about it..... rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao Bloody :goodpost: and i deffo ;iagree; Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Heid on January 31, 2006, 07:41:37 PM I own 3 pairs of shoes.
1. Trainers 2. Casino shoes 3. Polka dot court shoes (DO NOT ASK) I understand the offside rule perfectly, what I don't understand is why anyone would be in a shop buying shoes, when you can buy them online perfectly easily? Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Mrs Sheriff on February 01, 2006, 11:13:05 AM Quite scarily appropriate for someone who has a limo sent to her by the manager of the Jimmy Choo shop whenever she lands in Vegas. Sheriff Unfortunately this is not true! I wish it was! Heid, shoes were made to be bought in copious amounts. and looking at them/trying them on in the shops is all part of the fun, followed by trying to decide which pair and getting them all. (don't tell Sheriff!) Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Sheriff Fatman on February 01, 2006, 04:17:38 PM Heid, shoes were made to be bought in copious amounts. and looking at them/trying them on in the shops is all part of the fun, followed by trying to decide which pair and getting them all. (don't tell Sheriff!) Blondepoker officially welcomes Imelda Marcos to the forum! Sheriff Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: mex on February 01, 2006, 05:51:45 PM Wheres the bit where Rood Van Nisteldive catches his toe on the women in fronts carrier bag and throws him self over the shoe cleaning stand?
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: jammer on February 01, 2006, 06:42:25 PM Wheres the bit where Rood Van Nisteldive catches his toe on the women in fronts carrier bag and throws him self over the shoe cleaning stand? rotflmfao rotflmfao Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: thetank on May 07, 2006, 09:39:19 PM I love this post, thought I'd give it a bump in case anyone missed it first time round.
Seeing as the forum is in a bit of a football mood today. Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: stallyon on May 07, 2006, 10:05:03 PM Could i be classed as a girly for the number of shoes I own:
1 pair of trainers 1 pair of work shoes 1 pair of black boots for going out in black, blue jeans/trousers 1 pair of brown boots for going out in brown, fawn trousers/combats 1 pair of golfing shoes for erm...golfing :D Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: Trace on May 07, 2006, 10:31:45 PM Could i be classed as a girly for the number of shoes I own: 1 pair of trainers 1 pair of work shoes 1 pair of black boots for going out in black, blue jeans/trousers 1 pair of brown boots for going out in brown, fawn trousers/combats 1 pair of golfing shoes for erm...golfing :D You forgot your pink fluffy slippers!! Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: littlemissC on May 08, 2006, 07:52:22 AM excellent post.football and shoes,two of my favourite passions.
Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: matt674 on May 08, 2006, 11:16:07 AM Could i be classed as a girly for the number of shoes I own: 1 pair of trainers 1 pair of work shoes 1 pair of black boots for going out in black, blue jeans/trousers 1 pair of brown boots for going out in brown, fawn trousers/combats 1 pair of golfing shoes for erm...golfing :D Eek, well if you are classed as a girly for owning 5 pairs - what does someone who owns 40 pairs get classed as?? Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: ifm on May 08, 2006, 12:37:12 PM Blimey!
What does that make me? I have around 20 pairs of trainer alone, also have 4 pairs of golf shoes!! Title: Re: The offside rules for girls... Post by: matt674 on May 08, 2006, 12:40:37 PM Blimey! What does that make me? I have around 20 pairs of trainer alone, also have 4 pairs of golf shoes!! Its probably better if we dont find out :) |