blonde poker forum

Well anyone?

nope but i will win the euro lottery

i once bit some foil on a kit kat and it hit my filling, does that count?

OH Does a light fitting count ?

#I was once struck by lightning whilst walking to the shop to buy a Euro millions lottery ticket, it started to rain and I put up my umbrella, the fire service said it was the umbrella that acted as a conductor thus attracting the said bolt.






PS I am ok now  >:?

Jet from Gladiators was struck by Lightning in some row over leg wax.

I did that thing where you put both terminals of a 9v battery on your tongue

I used to live in a detached house in the middle of an old brickyard, it was thundering and lightening once, and I stupidly laughed and said to the skies "is that the best you can do"  (yes  a very strange thing to do I know, also a very stupid one as it happens too)  next thing there is one almight CRACK ~(I screamed) and a very strong smell of burning followed.

Lightning had struck the telly aerial or something, it blew up my telly, my video and my sodding answerphone.  Thank God I had Contents Insurance.


Why do I get the feeling this wasn't supposed to be a serious thread?  lol

Someone once stole all my clothes and replaced them with exact replicas

they keep doing it to me but making the clothes a size smaller

Spooky stuff, betya haven't said that again since  ;scarymoment;

You bet yer ass I haven't!!!  lol

One of my legs is both the same

As I was walking down the stairs

I saw a man who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today

I wish that man woud go away

rotflmfao rotflmfao Red, you are one hell of a funny fella :D

I once grew a frog on my neck

I went to the doctor and he asked me "How did that happen?"

The frog replied "It started as a boil on my arse"

 rotflmfao

A penisoner goes in to a second hand shop to buy a telly

Salesman sells him one for £15

Manager returns and insists that the salesman gives the pensioner £5 back

Greedy salesman gives him £3 back and pockets £2

Telly has now cost pensioner £12

salesman has £2

But that only adds up to £14

and the shop has the last £1 silly

Surely its the pensioner with the 1 £

Pensioner has only spent £12

Salesman only has £2

12+2+14

how can the shop have it, the shop had 15 and gave 5 back leaving it with 10

its just a math anomaly

they relate to different sides of the equation which is why they dont add up - they arent meant to

the pensioner has it, he only paid 12 for the telly, but he is holding £3 (his rebate) the salesman has the other £2

So if the salesman gives him £2 back he has spent £13, and the salesman has £3

Thats £16???

 rotflmfao..This could be one of the never ending threads...


15 to start with

The shop has 10

The old guys got 3

sales guy has 2..

15 done deal.. 

LOL  work it out this way ....  get 15 quid out of your wallet (yes i know this will involve getting past the barbed wire and dealing with the mass evacuation of moths)  you give 15 quid to Mrs red, and (when she has come round from fainting) she gives you £3 back....  she now has £12 and you have £3  ..she puts 10 quid in the housekeeping tin, and sneaks the other £2 in her pocket ... SO.....

House keeping tin £10
Reds rebate         £3
Mrs Reds tip         £2

TOTAL               £15

Get it ??

Spoilsport

like i said pensioner gets £1 in his pocket but i did cheat.....



























....i asked Tikay!

The golfer Retief Goosen has been hit by lightning twice.

Very unlucky man.

Is your glass half full or half empty... The way i see it is, if Retief Goosen has been hit by lightning twice and is still traveling the world playing golf. I would say he is a VERY LUCKY MAN

I said "Fish and chips twice"

He said "I heard you the first time"

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao     

Love means nothing to Martina Navratilova

Here's one for you algebra fans. Spot what goes wrong here as I attempt to prove that one is in fact the same thing as two.

Let a = b

Then you could say that.....

a² = ab

a²  + a² = a² + ab (adding a² to both sides)

2a² = a² + ab

2a² - 2ab = a² + ab - 2ab   (subtracting 2ab from both sides)

2a² - 2ab = a² - ab

which can be written as...

2(a² - ab) = 1(a² - ab)

cancelling out the (a² - ab) leaves us with....

1 = 2

So think twice next time you think you're getting the right pot odds to make a call

You might need to find your own algebra fans Tank. I fear your mathematical malarky may be wasted on us...   :dontask:

I operate at this level;

Why did the baker have stinky hands?















Cos he kneaded a poo!

If it takes a week to knit a fortnight, how long does it take to sandpaper an elephant down to a greyhound?

I thought algebra was a fungus that grows in underwear

i would post the equation that proves zero doesn't exist but it is 398 lines long.

Basically you divide through by 0 which is why it's impossible.

Look at it this way....

0 = (A)(0) for any value of A -> 0/0 = A

because if you divide 0 by 0 you can get anything in other words, 0/0 is said to be 'undefined'.

This is what you have what you have:

[(a^2) - ab] / [(a^2) - ab] = 0/0

My name is killjoy, i am here all week

Oh God, now you've set him off!!!!

Now explain how you managed to waste hours on the old P4C maths quiz one night, when it only was a 2 minute problem.... LMAO

Oh yes, and I forgot to add...... YOU STILL GOT IT WRONG!!!!!!  rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

shut it you

Well done on spotting it, but that was an easy one.



For the harder ones look here.

http://www.math.toronto.edu/mathnet/falseProofs/fallacies.html

If this sort of thing floats your boat.

We all know that keeping a woman around is a product of your time and your money

Women = Time x Money

We also know that time is money

Women = Money x Money

Therefore

Women = Money²

However, we also know that money is the root of all evil

Money = sqrt Evil

Squaring both sides of the equation

Money² = Evil

Therefore

Women = Evil

I bet you say that to all the women ;)

an award for the most 'off topic' thread???   LOL

BTW I went to the chippie last night too:

Me: Will the Haddock be long?

Chippie: No

Me: Well it had better be wide then.

 ;yellowcard;

So no-one has actually been struck by lightning then?

I have......... ;scarymoment; ;scarymoment;

Outside (obviously)and the weather was very close, standing by a lamp post, all of a sudden big flash and a real pain down my arm. I was thrown backwards.

Old woman walking past wih her shopping trolly stopped to watch me on the floor and then carried on walking.......no one else saw it.

BTW - I have lost my euromillions tickets......the only place I have been is luton casino last night......if you see tighty in a new jag............

Maserati ordered today.....ta Dingdong

aint been struck by lighten but i will win the euro lottery next time it has 10 rolloavers