Dear Sir/Madam,
I have just read Mr. Kendall's diary dated 23rd September you can read it for yourself here:
http://www.blondepoker.com/anecdotes/007043.html#22ndSeptTo put it mildly I am shocked that an A list celebrity TV star like Mr. Kendall should have to drive himself half way across the country in order to conduct your business. Please picture the scene, the elderly Mr. Kendall driving down the motorway in the pouring rain with windscreen wipers which are not functioning correctly...
"Oh deary deary me" Thump "I must do well in this tourney tonight" Thump "and then I might be able to afford a new car" Thump
"The Austin Maestro has done so well for so many years now" Thump "but perhaps it's time for a new one" Thump
"Perhaps one of those new fangled Hondas might be.." Thump. Beep Beep "What's that noise? Has something" Thump "else gone wrong with the car?" Thump
"Oh it's OK it's my mobile telephone" Thump "Hello who's there?" Thump "There's nobody there. Oh it's a" Thump "text message, now where are my reading glasses?" Thump
"Here they are" thump "off with the driving glasses and on with the" thump "Oh it's from my boss Mr Colclough, he wants me to" thump "pick up his laundry from the" thump
Beep Beep "another message now how do I get the new one onto the screen" thump "Oh it's from my friend Brian" thump "he probably wants me to explain how to play J4 again to him" Thump
Well I hope you get the idea. We have a man in his eighties (I assume his age from seeing him on TV) doing his best to negotiate the overcrowded road system in South East England in near hurricane conditions because of your gross negligence. Would you ask Tom Cruise to suffer this indignity? If you had Madonna appearing in you programme would you expect her to get to the studio on her moped? If you were interviewing Her Majesty The Queen would she be expected to hitch a lift? Of course not. Just because Mr. Kendall works tirelessly without complaint for your company, you choose to take advantage of his good nature by expecting him to drive 300 miles in an old banger whilst answering messages from his legion of fans at the same time as wiping his windows.
This is an outrage of the highest proportions. I demand that Mr. Kendall is immediately given access to a twenty four hour chauffeur driven limousine service. If Mr.Kenadall were to have an accident (and this is not unlikely for a man in his nineties remember) then I'm sure even Robert HM wouldn't be able to get you off the resulting corporate negligence charges. As to what it would do to your company when millions of Mr. Kendall's fans (Kendallites) hear of your ineptitude and take their business to another Bookmaker, well I suggest you either get on the telephone to the limousine company immediately or else get Mr. HM to advise you on the latest bankruptcy regulations.
yours indignantly
Mr. U Bogroll
(Mr. Kendall's NUMBER ONE fan!!!)
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