Dear Mr 'The Duke'.

I represent a firm on behalf of the late Mr Rudyard Kipling's family. They have notified my of the above post via email and I am afraid it is in breach of copyright. To use the above wording for personal entertainment we require payment of $1,394.

I have sent you a private message with the account details on which this required to be paid into.

You may hear from me very shortly as I have just received another email from a Mr Lurhmann.

Regards
Mr Dwight Smithington

Dear Mr Smithington

It is with great trepidation that I read your private correspondence, particularly the part that included the use of “persuasive wooden sporting implements”. I must also respectfully decline your offer of assistance from the “Door Custodians” to help with my recollection. Whilst also not fully understanding the phase “Testicular Removal” and “Cranium Destruction” I must take umbrage to your oblique reference to “Obese person born out of wedlock”.

If you would be most kind, could you please reply with a full explanation of,  “Using my intestinal particulars in place of stocking support” and why I would even have to contemplate drinking soup through a straw.

Yours etc


Duke

One shall see one in court.

Good day

DS

Dear Mr 'The Duke'.

I represent a firm on behalf of the late Mr Rudyard Kipling's family. They have notified my of the above post via email and I am afraid it is in breach of copyright. To use the above wording for personal entertainment we require payment of $1,394.

I have sent you a private message with the account details on which this required to be paid into.

You may hear from me very shortly as I have just received another email from a Mr Lurhmann.

Regards
Mr Dwight Smithington