"First things first"

[bolt pp]

I never understood this, when else would the first thing be other than first?

[boldie]

I never understood this, when else would the first thing be other than first?

you're not married, are you?

[Colchester Kev]

what about when you lose your keys and you finally find them ... "in the last place i looked" ...derrrrrrrr bloody obviously the last place you looked you wombat, you wouldnt keep looking in other places after you had found them would you !

Or

"Dont look round, but you will never guess who is behind us" ...NO not unless im f***ing psychic or i have eyes in the back of my head i wont !!

there are so many ...

"you will never believe this" ... well dont bloody tell me then, if you dont think I will believe you, whats the point ?

[spruce goose]

retro telekynesis

[kinboshi]

He was found lying in a pool of his own blood. (would be a surprise if it was someone else's)

Only in America.    (usually the case that it happens everywhere)

If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me.     (usually a mother to a child)

Look at your face.    (Same mother to a messy child.)

Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.    (Guess who again!)

I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

Never say never.

[JungleCat03]

cheap at half the price...yeh good advert FOOOOL

Buy One Get One Free...BOG OF.....ditto

[kinboshi]

Head over heels.

What's so special about that?  Unless you're a bat your head is usually over your heels (do bats have heels?).

[Snatiramas]

If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about???

[fearisthekey]

what about when you lose your keys and you finally find them ... "in the last place i looked" ...derrrrrrrr bloody obviously the last place you looked you wombat, you wouldnt keep looking in other places after you had found them would you !

They're bound to be somewhere.........


Expect






the unexpected!!!!!!!!!!!

[roverthtaeh]

You know where you are with maps.

[thetank]

I'm not threatening you, if I was threatning you you'd know about it, you'd be on the floor.

[Colchester Kev]

what about when you were a kid, whatever you were doing you used to get some random grown up saying "You will have someones eye out with that" ... Yes Nan, I am playing A team with a toy car, im sure casualty is full of one eyed people with a toy car embedded in a hole in their head where their eye used to be !!


or what about "Do you want a good hiding" ... WTF kind of question is that LOL ... errrrmmmm thanks for the offer, but i think i will give it a swerve if its all the same to you