This cracked me up
From: Boyd, Richard
Sent: 31 August 2007 12:19
To: Philip Cornhill
Subject: FW: An absolute pearler .. READ FROM THE BOTTOM UP !!!!!
From: Tim Neville
Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 3:08 AM
To: Jade Atkins
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Jade,
I might save you the trouble and forward this around on your behalf.
While many people will certainly take offence to what I have said (and already have), the majority of people will get a good laugh at how low your self esteem must be to not only scramble around to save us from any trouble with the owners, but to also sleep with someone who clearly has no respect for you.
As for the size of my appendage and my performance in bed, I find this quite hard to understand. Not only do I have quite a few repeat customers, but you yourself seemed enthused the other night. Unless you were faking that. But if you do have the ability to fake coming multiple times then you may wish to consider a career in a different industry. I think we both know what I am taking about.
I am sorry if you do lose your job over the email. However, as I was not the one who forwarded the emails I am not THAT sorry. But if you do need a job, then I may be able to make some use of you over at our place. However you will not be able to live there: only 4 people on the lease you understand.
Tim
From: Jade Atkins
Sent: Monday, 23 July 2007 12:53 PM
To: Tim Neville
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Dear Tim aka Arsehole,
Why the f*** are people calling me and emailing me about your email?
I can't believe that you or your pathetic friends would be low enough to forward it around the internet like that.
People in my office think I'm a f***ing idiot because of it. I could lose my job over this!
Maybe I should send an email around telling everyone how f***ing tiny your cock is and how you were so useless in bed.
I hope you f*** off and die.
Yours Sincerely,
Jade Atkins
Property Manager
Belle Property Rentals
Shop 6, 1 Kings Cross Rd, Darlinghurst
PO Box 16, POTTS POINT NSW 1335
P 1300 786 175 F 02 8354 1692 W belleproperty.com.au <http://www.belleproperty.com.au/>
From: Tim Neville
Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 10:08 AM
To: Jade Atkins
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
I should hope that you are looking forward to it.
Now no more talk until Thursday night. I want you to save up all of that energy and excitement for then.
Tim
From: Jade Atkins
Sent: Monday, 16 July 2007 9:03 AM
To: Tim Neville
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Hi Tim,
That sounds perfect!
See you then. Looking forward to it.
Yours Sincerely,
Jade Atkins
Property Manager
Belle Property Rentals
Shop 6, 1 Kings Cross Rd, Darlinghurst
PO Box 16, POTTS POINT NSW 1335
P 1300 786 175 F 02 8354 1692 W belleproperty.com.au <http://www.belleproperty.com.au/>
From: Tim Neville
Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 4:41 PM
To: Jade Atkins
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Jade,
I'm otherwise disposed on Wednesday, so Thursday it will be. How about we meet at Hugo's at around 7 and go from there.
Enjoy your weekend.
Tim
From: Jade Atkins
Sent: Friday, 13 July 2007 11:16 AM
To: Tim Neville
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Hi Tim,
I've cleared it with the owners so everything should be fine now.
I hate it when old people act like that. They probably haven't seen any action for years. Old bastards causing me trouble!
About dinner, I've fairly busy next week but Wednesday or Thursday night are both free if that's okay with you. Let me know.
Yours Sincerely,
Jade Atkins
Property Manager
Belle Property Rentals
Shop 6, 1 Kings Cross Rd, Darlinghurst
PO Box 16, POTTS POINT NSW 1335
P 1300 786 175 F 02 8354 1692 W belleproperty.com.au <http://www.belleproperty.com.au/>
From: Tim Neville
Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 5:29 PM
To: Jade Atkins
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Jade,
There is definitely not more than 4 people living in the house and never has been. I will declare that formally if required. There may have been a guest staying at the time (but I don't think so) but this is unusual - unusual it would occur during the week that is.
As you know Jade, we are 4 single young men making every day count. We feel we are at the peak of our powers right now and sometimes this involves us flexing it a little on the Sydney social circuit. I don't proclaim to be a rock star but I am not a homebody either - my fellow housemates will attest to this and I will attest to them in the same vein. Some things transcend from heightened social stamina and one of those Jade is over night guests. I think we both know what we're talking about.
So it seems we may simply be caught up on a definitional point. We only have 4 people living at Trelawney but we do have guests quite regularly. Babsy has more guests than Jonny for example but Jonny's standards are higher - that's neither here nor there.
We work hard and we play hard Jade and unfortunately the play spills over a little but this does not constitute a breach of lease. All in all I think we are excellent tenants and hold the premises in high regard.
Please put this on the file.
Tim
p.s. about that dinner we have been trying to organize, how about next week?
From: Jade Atkins
Sent: Thursday, 12 July 2007 4:03 PM
To: Michael Hustler
Cc: Tim Neville; Jonathan Kearins; Nick Babos
Subject: RE: 290 Glenmore Road -
Importance: High
Hi Guys,
During the last inspection it came to the owners attention that there is more than 4 people living in the property. Please advise / confirm as the owner has requested this information urgently.
As there is only 4 people on the lease and the applications were approved on this basis we must ask that the tenants (not currently listed on the lease) to fill out and submit application forms immediately.
Once this has been done we will be in contact to advise if the applications have been approved.
Yours Sincerely,
Jade Atkins
Property Manager
Belle Property Rentals
Shop 6, 1 Kings Cross Rd, Darlinghurst
PO Box 16, POTTS POINT NSW 1335
P 1300 786 175 F 02 8354 1692 W belleproperty.com.au <
http://www.belleproperty.com.au/>
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