Sark sent me a letter
it read
"I have been missing for a while. The reaons for this are many-fold. Firstly I have been spending long hours in the Kilmarnock public library researching cactii, the mood swings of horses and the restorative qualities of muesli. This is for no particular reason, just because I want to. I'm not playing much poker as my dial-up connection has been playing up. I discovered a phone bill unpaid since 2003 which explains why I have no dial tone and no friends any more.
The other night walking my dog I fell into another ditch! I immediately wrote to the council and demanded to know why the street light above the ditch was not working. They still haven't replied but its ok I have now taken to walking down the other side of the road with my dog on the way to the park. No ditches, but working street lights.
Became quite cross the other week with the local bus company. They repainted their buses Green, I don't like Green, green is for grass. Broccoli and grass. That reminds me, Broccoli curries are my latest "best food". So green! Good, except when on buses....."
at that point the letter suddenly stopped
lol, is that you Sark?