THE NOT-MADE-FROM-WHEAT-MADE-FROM-OATS-INSTEAD-A-BIX ON TOUR 2009

[Claw75]

I've just been reminded of the huge crush I used to have on Brian Molko.  Phwoar.

[thetank]

Thankyou for that abixes.

Conga did make me lol a little.  

[Claw75]

Thankyou for that abixes.

Conga did make me lol a little.  

Joobs is a black lace groupie.

[Claw75]

talking of not suitable for a pre-9pm audience stuff we were looking at/listening to last night, the following may be of interest to those of you who have been wondering where bolty has been lately - seems he's relocated north of the border.  NSFW, obv.

[Joobie538]

Day 4 Trip to the seaside

Started with a nice 'friendly not at all competitive' game of crazy golf,  to be honest i was SOOO much better than the others nearly managing to hit a hole in one on hole 5 while playing hole 2. meta-game IMO. So completely ignoring the final scores, i won, And celebrated by buying Icecream, which started to dissolve in the rain.

Next stop, The arcade, After little or no success with the fruit machines we moved on to the old fashioned penny pushers, now thinking of the big win i started on the 10p ones and bust shortly after due to poor bankroll management. Everyone else was a little more sensible and stuck to the comfort of 2p, Tuffster gambled his small profit for a ceramic gargoyle.  MW and Sharplea and Me Played pinball now I'm sure some cheating went on coz somehow I lost.  The Driving Game proved that all is well with the world when the Drivers beat the non drivers!!

On the way home we stopped off at the best chip shop in Weston. now we had a MINOR FAIL, when i got back in the car,  key in the bag of chips and the chip fork in the ignition!! oops

Mine and Sharplea's Hero status grew considerably when we became honorary traffic officers on the scene of Minor RTA on the way home, funny how you stand in the road tell someone to stop when there is clearly an incident and they still try and drive through you!

Spot the golf ball fail competition to follow.....

[KarmaDope]

The REAL Day 4 - Final Day of the Tour

After expectedly losing one member of the tour party due to train and family commitments, the remaining four members converged on Weston-super-Mare for a day of debauchery and arguments. Despite the weather being the worst of the whole tour, we started with a nice relaxing game of Crazy Golf. MW took an early lead after the first 3 holes as the rest of the "Oatibixes" struggled to find their lines and hit their straps. It all fell apart for the lone remaining female member of the team after this, with one notable incident seeing her nearly decapitate a poor young girl on hole 7...we were playing on hole 4. Cries of "Epic Fail!" and "FARCE!" were soon heard throughout the course, with the group in front soon picking up on it and joining us in the usage of "Epic Fail!" everytime someone missed an easy shot. Despite hitting 2 hole in ones, MW proceeded to get the jitters between holes 16-18, and this cost him 2nd place. A hole in one saw Tuffster steal second from MW, but sharplea was the deserved winner overall, averaging 2.2 per hole over the last 10 holes in a solid display of putting to win by 6 strokes from Tuffster, with Jon MW a further 2 strokes back and Joobie dead last, having taken 23 more shots than the overall winner (and it would have been more had we not implemented a maximum score of 6 shots per hole). We then all proceeded to fail on the 19th hole and nobody won a free game.

Final scores:

sharplea - 53
Tuffster - 59
Jon MW - 61
Joobie538 - 76

As punishment for losing, Joobie bought all the icecream and we proceeded to head to the 2 arcades left in Weston after the rest burnt down with the pier. We all failed with the fruit machines and Joobie headed over to the penny pushers whilst the rest of us milled around before deciding to join her. We all failed at those as well apart from Tuffster, who exchanged £3 in 2p's for a miniature gargoyle which sadly did not come to life. Jon MW then proceeded to thrash everybody at Pinball and we headed for the only 4 player game in the arcade - Sega Rally. In a flash of inspiration, Tuffster proceeded to choose the 1 seat and thrash everybody, with Joobie, sharplea and Jon MW very close behind in that order. It was noted that the 2 and 3 seats were un-adjustable and locked into the very front - not helpful for sharplea and Joobie who were the 2 tallest people there and were therefore forced to drive with their knees against the steering wheel, and the 4 seat was unlockable, and as such MW kept slipping off his accelerator, hence the flash of inspiration in guaranteeing victory by Tuffster's seat choosing.

We then reacquainted ourselves with the car and headed home via the best chip shop in Weston, but even this wouldn't be an Oatibix tour without some sort of FARCE. In an act of idiocy not seen since the 1200's, Joobie proceeded to try and drive off using a chip fork as a car key whilst eating her chips using the bloody key! Cue "Epic Fail!", "FARCE!", and a red face from the designated driver (only one insured for the car). She then proceeded to drive home via the sightseeing way, which turned out to be a big mistake when we came across what appeared to be a man knocked off his bike by a van and seizing. The car was instantly pulled over, with chips ignored for ambulance calls. Joobie and sharplea proceeded to offer assistance whilst MW and Tuffster wisely (in their opinion) stayed put firmly in the back of the car eating their chips. After an ambulance was called for, sharplea cajoled Joobie into traffic officer duties as the accident was right on a busy junction in the middle of rush hour. At least it wasn't a four-way junction! Weston's drivers proved completely useless at following instructions, with one old man appearing to not understand the simple signal of Stop and attempting to run Joobie over. Amazingly, it got worse as the ambulance arrived due to rubberneckers and we now understand completely why the police hate it when people rubberneck. After about 20 minutes and aching shoulders, all was restored with the injured man being removed safely to the back of the ambulance and the ambulance clearing the blocked junction, which meant that we could stand down having managed to not cause carnage and keep traffic moving without too much delays on both sides.

We headed home and Tuffster and Jon MW left soon after on their respective 3-4hr journeys home at 7pm, leaving an empty house, one relieved shy cat, and a feeling of success that the weekend (not the poker) turned out really well.

Watch this space for tour number 2 - to be organised!

(I am aware that we were going to have a "spot the golf ball fail" competition, but the pics are on my phone and in a farcial display, the thing is refusing to charge. So when I get it fixed, I'll upload the photos, well, all 2 of them!)

[celtic]

Great diary. Enjoyed it, thanks.

[Jon MW]

To Summarise

[ x ] Farce

[ x ] Fail

but

[ x ] Fun

and obviously

[KarmaDope]

The infamous golf ball competition!

Spot the ball.

Click to see full-size image.

*damn, my new shiny camera phone takes good pics!*

[Tuffster]

[X] FAIL - Obv not even in the picture

This is Joobie remember, my vote is for about half a mile down the road.

Either that or lodged comically in MW's mouth.

[suzanne]

Was watching the news tonight about the new mini "London eye" and its debut run in WSM...all apparently went well apart from the recorded commentary inside the pods detailing the news and views about Glasgow and the River Clyde 

[Jon MW]

The infamous golf ball competition!

Spot the ball.

Click to see full-size image.

*damn, my new shiny camera phone takes good pics!*

[    ] Joobie has "Crazy Golf" skillz
[ X ] Joobie has Crazy "Golf skillz"