Delusional Fat Sam

He's on a roll at the minute,this was on our website.

Ahead of Blackburn's game against Fulham, former Magpies boss Sam Allardyce has been entertaining everyone with his own particular brand of delusion.

The man who had a worse managerial record than Kenny Dalglish on Tyneside has been attributed with the following phantasmagorical (as Ian Holloway might say) quotes:

"I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid.

"It wouldn't be a problem for me to manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time.

"Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn't be a problem.

"It's not a problem to take me into the higher reaches of the Champions League or Premier League and would make my job a lot easier in winning it."

This is the manager who, given a large amount of cash to spend, brought us the delights of Abdoulaye Faye, Cacapa, Geremi and David Rozehnal....

Allardyce's most notable achievement in his time at SJP was a laughable, mincing run across the turf at Craven Cottage while both sides waited to kick off the second half.

Can we just remind you that as a player and a manager, Sam Allardyce has won... a big fat zero*...

(* for the sake of completeness we are obligated to mention Allardyce's European title achievement - guiding mighty Limerick City to the League of Ireland First Division title in 1992. We know a limerick about Sam, but we're sadly unable to reproduce it here....