Best course of action?

[RED-DOG]

You're at a friends house with a dozen or so other people. It's a low key soirée, a few nibbles, some crust-off sarnies and a choice of white, red or Bud.

Midway through proceedings you have to pee. You're not sure where the loo is so you have to ask the host. He jokes loudly about 'old blokes toilet habits' and draws everyone's attention to your departure.

You make your way to the WC on the landing. You bolt the door and are just about to do your business when you notice a presence in the toilet bowl. Laying there, like some kind of malevolent brown monster, is the biggest floater you have ever seen.

You pull the chain, the water swirls, and the beast slithers around slugishly before coming to rest in a slightly more prominent position, making absolutely no effort to depart.

You try several more flushes with the same result. You are about to blow the scene when, horror of horrors, someone tries the door.

You hear the refined voice of a female guest and instantly recognise it as one belonging to someone who has held a low opinion of you ever since that time several years ago at a similar party, when she was the accidental victim of a prank involving a pair of boxer shorts and a handful of peanut butter.

"Oh, are you still in there? Will you be long?"

[scotty2hatty]

Just leave it and move on.

Someone decided to leave a massive, and unbelievably smelly, poo in the urinal at work during the week and I couldn't get any company to come clean it.....

[baldock92]

Tell her the bogs broken.

[RED-DOG]

Just leave it and move on.

Someone decided to leave a massive, and unbelievably smelly, poo in the urinal at work during the week and I couldn't get any company to come clean it.....

In the urinal? Wow! Creative.

[kukushkin88]

lol someone has hit rock bottom! Who takes a dump in a urinal at a bookies?

[scotty2hatty]

lol someone has hit rock bottom! Who takes a dump in a urinal at a bookies?

I'd love to know.  Especially since a simple key request allows entry to the cubicle.

Wasn't any ordinary poo either. Guy must have been in pain.

[RED-DOG]

lol someone has hit rock bottom! Who takes a dump in a urinal at a bookies?

I'd love to know.  Especially since a simple key request allows entry to the cubicle.

Wasn't any ordinary poo either. Guy must have been in pain.

Do you mind when people come in just to use the loo?

 I must admit that I do this occasionally, but I pretend to use study form for a few minutes first.

[scotty2hatty]

lol someone has hit rock bottom! Who takes a dump in a urinal at a bookies?

I'd love to know.  Especially since a simple key request allows entry to the cubicle.

Wasn't any ordinary poo either. Guy must have been in pain.

Do you mind when people come in just to use the loo?

 I must admit that I do this occasionally, but I pretend to use study form for a few minutes first.

Customer dependent. Never mind at all if it's a normal, respectable looking chap (that's you not allowed then, ba boom). My shop is a little out of the centre but the Coral in the City Centre has a lot of trouble with drug users (junkies essentially) and they ain't using my toilet.

[scotty2hatty]

Worst part is declining some guy bringing their young kid in for a pee, especially when the kid looks set to burst.

[George2Loose]

On your way down mention to the host that some woman in ten toilet sounds like she's in dreadful pain the loo.....

[Magic817]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUfS_2UGftg

Exit like this!

[DaveShoelace]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUfS_2UGftg

Exit like this!

Or this

[Woodsey]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUfS_2UGftg

Exit like this!

lol first thing that entered my head!