O/T: Beans Beans are good for your heart!

[Trace]

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans.

She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

One day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go
for this  carrying on."

 She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months
 later, on her birthday, her car broke down on the way home from work.

 Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him
 that she would be late because she had to walk home.

 On her way, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked
 beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk
 off any ill effects by the time she reached home.

 So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
 consumed three large orders of baked beans.

 All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
 reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
 "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

 He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.

She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the
 blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.

 He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.

 He then went to answer the telephone.

 The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the
 pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was
 out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one
 leg and let it go.

 It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
 over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.

 She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

 Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
 reminded her of cooked cabbage.

 Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she
 went on like this for another ten minutes.

 When the telephone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she
 fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap
 and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

 She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned,
 apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and
she assured him that she had not.

 At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!!
 There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish
 her a "Happy Birthday"!!!