GLASWEGIANS

[GlasgowBandit]

U R A GLASWEGIAN If:
>
>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan Milngavie,
>Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
>
>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
>
>3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.
>
>4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
>
>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
>
>6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure
class!
>
>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
>
>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,
>in yer ain family.
>
>9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
>
>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
>
>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
>
>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day
>date.
>
>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
>Church/Chapel.
>
>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
>irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
>
>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
>
>16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.
>
>17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
>
>18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
>
>19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .
>
>20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these
>words...
  how's it hingin
  clatty
  boggin
  cludgie
  pished
  get it up ye
  wee beasties
  arse bandit
  amurny
  away an bile yer heid
  peely-wally
  humphey backit
  Ba'-heid
  baw bag
  dubble nuggit

>Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just
>came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his
>rear end aimed at an electric fire.
>
>The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer
>Ayrshire bacon?"
>"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

[Graham C]

U R A GLASWEGIAN If:
>
>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan Milngavie,
>Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

I can't even read it properly

[bundle]

 

Brings back memorys of my granny...away an bile yer heid  away and boil you're head

she would always inspect our scalp when we would visit her, looking for wee beasties.

[Bongo]

>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

Reminds me, I once managed to fall down a flight of stairs whilst carrying two drinks.

Somehow I didn't spill a drop...

[Ironside]

>Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just
>came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his
>rear end aimed at an electric fire.
>
>The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer
>Ayrshire bacon?"
>"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

nows thats the first funny joke yer hae told