I've just woken up, had a really odd dream that I thought I'd share.
Usually my dreams are either not very vivid, or I can't remember them 5 minutes after waking up. I'll try to wrtie this one down quickly before I forget.
I was in a Hotel, my room was on the 4th floor. There was a party going on and I was in mid conversation with an interesting couple. They mentioned that they were going outside for some air, and for some reason I followed along after them. While approaching the lift, I thought it was a bad idea me tagging along like a gooseberry. I wandered straight past and left them be, striding with a defiant pride that suggests purpose.
I figured that I may look a tad silly if I returned straight back to the Hotel room, so thought I'd go for a wee wander. At this point I should probably point out that I was wearing only my boxer shorts. No, it wasn't that sort of party, (I don't get those dreams unfortunately, if I do, I can never remember them
) it's just a random dream feature that may (or may not) be relevant later on.
While wandering around, I figure I'll find a toilet. I wasn't particularly desperate to relieve myself, but thought that finding a lav will give my little expedition a purpose. If any one questions my boxer-shorted buisness, I can honestly tell them I'm looking for the dinnys.
After wandering around for a while, I couldn't find any lavs on the 4th floor, it was all just peoples rooms, so I headed on down to the lobby. Down one corridoor, made a left, down another, I soon became horribly lost. I saw an old friend. He looked very busy, but recognised me. He said hi, apologised that he was very busy, apparently he was on his way to change the coke and had got caught up in some sort of fire drill. He rushed off before I could ask for directions, so I ventured on, unaided in my quest for a public toilet.
At this point, I think I was in a staff only area. I'd now taken to opening all the doors I came across, to see if any contained somewhere civil I could piss. One door I try leads to to the beer cellar, I remeber my flustered old friend saying that he was to change the coke, I thought maybe I could do him a favour, and change it for him.
Coke Syrup, it comes in 10L bags, the bags are kept in shape by carboard box housing. You hook them up to a machine that mixes the syrup with water and gas. Out your wee draught gun on the bar now comes Coke. Changing them when the syrup has run dry is relatively simple, the bags have a wee nozzle, that pokes out the box, you unscrew the pipe that was attached to the empty one, and screw it into the new one. The machine makes the odd clicky clicky or sucky sucky noise every now and then.
So I check it's empty, and am in the process of changing it round when a man in a suit interrupts me. "Who the hell are you and what do you think you're doing?"
Oh bugger, time to explain myself. I couldn't mention my friend, I didn't want to get him in trouble. There's an art to telling believable fibs, I find it impotant to not include too much detail, but
do include as many elements of the truth as possible. The odd bit of eye contact won't hurt you either.
Anyway, I tell him I was looking for a public restroom (truth) and whilst walking past the cellar, heard a noise which suggested the coke was empty (fibs) so thought I'd change it round. He looked at me rather odd, and I remeber thinking that he may wish to call security. Thankfully he didn't, he let me go, escorting me away from the staff only bitty, into the lobby proper.
He may have walked away shaking his head and tutting, but he could do that as much as he liked. The important thing was that I was a free man. I woke up and took a celebratory wizz.
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