How to know when you're old enough to gamble ?

When I was a wee lad of just sixteen, my old grandad took me down to the bookies as he wanted to have a little flutter.

"Can put a bet on Grandad" I asked.

"Well little man" my grandad replied, "is your dick long enough to touch your arsehole?"

Embarassed and frankly slightly scared I answered that it wasn't.

"Well then you're not old enough to gamble" cackled the wizened old git.

Sulking I left the bookies with the laughter ringing in my ears. I wandered down the road and eventually found myself in a newsagent.

"I know how I'll quench my thist for gambling" I thought, "I'll buy a scratchcard with my last shiny pound!"

With baited breath I scratched away at the grey panel... 1 treasure chest...2 treasure chests...3 treasure chests!!!

I couldn't believe I had won £50,000!

I was ecstactic I couldn't wait to tell my grandad, the great gambler. I rushed into the bookies and told my grandad the whole story.

His eyes twinkling with excitment he asked me if I would share my good fortune with him.

"Well of course!" I exclaimed, "but I have to check something first. Is your dick long enough to touch your arsehole?"

"Yes, yes it is!" he replied excitedly.

"Well in that case, GO FUCK YOURSELF!"