Survival of the fittest M&Ms

[fergus8]

(from someone who definitely has too much time on their hands)

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
species.  To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
splinters.  That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
immediately.  The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.  I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest.  Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
occasions it gives the candy extra strength.  In this way, the
species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd.  Since it would make no sense to eat
this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms.  I consider this
"grant money."  I have set aside the weekend for a grand
tournament.  From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
True Champion.

There can be only one.

[Wardonkey]

 

[fergus8]

lol,its not me
copied and pasted it from some american

[fergus8]

what happened to ur post tomatoes?

[BigTomatoes]

 i deleted it , it was a joke but didnt think you would like it.

 i posted it before i knew it wasnt you who did this.

 what a pathetic fecker was what i was really thinking.

[fergus8]

i thought it was funny what he did with the winner, send it back for breeding,lol

[BigTomatoes]

 i know , but really , how much time do you need on your hands to do that ?

[fearisthekey]

(lost)??

that is one of the funniest things I've read in a while, for me these meaningless things are the most meaningful things

top post

[KingPoker]

(lost)??

that is one of the funniest things I've read in a while, for me these meaningless things are the most meaningful things

top post

I concur in fact it would have been even funnier is is had been you that had carried out the test of strength!

[fearisthekey]

post pub game:

grape races.

lightly coat base of microwave with oil

take as many grapes as you have contestants.

mark with tipex

place at one end of microwave

see who reaches other end first.