Advise please coz I cant go on like this

[byronkincaid]

2 weeks time

[portfolio]

take a breaK  first and foremost            clear your mind   so you can make any decisions clearly  .


i believe there are many ways you can continue with poker,and i know u have several tickets in the bag for the ladies open series, i can make many suggestions if you are interested.

cya at the western in a fortnite

[Dingdell]

It's a horrible place to be - I call it the 'bubble' when you know what you're doing isn't right but you anything about it as you are addicted and its sick. It's not just a gambling thing - it can be attributed to lots of behaviours.

I have been there/still go there depending on what triggers it. I recently split up from my boyfriend of 3 years and having won £500 sat in front of a slot machine and gave it all back. In all honesty there really wasn't anything I could do about it - I just couldn't get up and leave. I had thought I was ok that day but some numpty at the poker made me listen to a sad song which put me on tilt and I blame him entirely........ I know he did it with the best intentions but please - making me listen to 'those were the best days of my life' was not going to help me that much!

I see someone about this now and understand why and how it happens, I'm just not alway able to deal with it.

The majority of the people I come across in the poker world have a story to tell which has moulded them in a way that makes gambling/poker attractive to them. Only last week I was talking to a player who told me that he had lost several family members in a short period of time....it all adds up.

I hope you can get out of this black hole Suzanne - it's a brave thing to admit you're in it - I think the freerolls are a great idea - something to work towards and there is still a reward at the end of it. You probably know my opinion of ladies games but for once I will be rooting for someone to win - you!!! If you need a cheering team let me know and I'll come along x

[Muahahahaha]

I have to admit that I don't understand your feelings, so I can't fully empathise with them.

But I've read your O/P and I hope you don't mind a few mad ramblings

I know in the past I have posted D-Day (my birthday) threads where I have said that "thats it im done with poker" and meant it at the time because I could not bear the bad beats anymore and just wanted to get out.   I hear this all the time.  We all know bad beats are a pain in the posterior, but we all suffer them.  I honestly believe that if they get to you too much you're either A) playing outside your bankroll, or B) taking the game too seriously.  Some of these guys are good enough to go to the WSOP, you and me ain't.  That's nothing to be ashamed of, but playing the game at the right level should still be a fun, and challenging experience

Trouble is poker is addictive, and once you are dragged in its sooo hard to get out. You keep going back for more and although you might lose some cash through the bad times you keep going on with the belief that with every game you learn a little bit more which makes you a better player win or lose.  Yes the game is addictive, but do you honestly play it when you should be doing other stuff.  If it's affecting your life, and you're letting other things slide because you're playing too much, then you have to do what you gotta do to control it.  If you can't restrict the amount of time you spend playing, you gotta give up.  But most people, once they treat it as a hobby, not a way of life, can control when they fire up the lappy.  Personally I find this forum more addictive than the actual game.  I stay away for days, and work gets done, but take today, I logged in to spend 20 minutes catching up - that was 3 hours ago. It's naughty, but if I find myself doing it most days, then I know I'm losing control.
So what went wrong?

I started off as a novice donking of what I could afford each week coz to be honest it was cheaper than the bingo (£50 easy with tickets, babysitter, taxi and large donar with extra chilli) and was quite happy to do that till I joined Blonde and realised that if you learn the game you can WIN.  If you give up on poker are you going back to the bingo ?  If you can afford to spend money on other things, you can afford to spend money on poker, it's just a case of prioritising.  When I started I gave myself £10 a week poker money.  I had one account and put that money in every weekend.  I only played $2 sngs at the time, and what with winning a few, cashing in a few, and putting the weekly top up in, I wasn't losing.  This year I spent 4 months trying to learn how to play mtts.  This has cost me a lot of money, with little return, so now I've gone back to sngs, and if I have a positive week, I'll spend my winnings on mtts, if I lose I only play the odd freeroll.  I'm not earning much profit, but I'm not losing, and I'm having great fun.

So I watched the forum and decided here was the best place to learn how to play the game and be a winner.

It all went well at the start, picked up some very valuable tips and started to win games woohooooooooooo. I was actually winning back some of the money that I had lost, I was still down but happy.  Remember this point, you played the game and enjoyed it

I then heard about "bonus whoring" you deposit, when you clear the bonus you get free money. For the novices of you out there....dont even go there. I have deposited the max amount on several sites hoping to double my money but the catch is you cant do it playing stts alone and so (as in my case) you move on to cash to build up the points faster but there is always a shark on the table that will rip ur heart out.  I made that mistake too.  You're well out of that

So to sum it all up, I have been playing online now (small time cash games) for 3/4 years, I have never moved out of the danger zone so have stuck to $5/10 stts (which im good at) $5/30 mtts which I never win but im going through the learning process and 25/50/$1 cash where I sometimes win but mostly lose.  Give up playing cash

I had about 20 different poker accounts at one stage and one by one I have cleaned them all out. I am now depositing at an alarming rate and always promised myself if I could not afford to play poker that I would quit.  This is worrying, can you control the amount you deposit, or are you admitting to yourself that it's out of control ( don't answer just think about it )

Well that day has come. I have tried playing lower stake tables to try and climb back up the ladder but how can you beat a guy who calls all the way to the river to hit trips when you have 2 pair on the flop. I dont have the it in me anymore to fight these fish. 
This is down to you, I don't believe you, otherwise you wouldn't be posting.  When NLHE is kicking me up the kyhber, I wander over to fulltilt & fire up a $1 HORSE or Omaha sng.  50p for an hour's fun - just don't expect to get rich

Tonight I thought deposit £25 andthought play tight and double up on a cash table, it was gone in 5 hands. GIVE UP PLAYING CASH !!

Simple fact is I cant afford to play anymore. So I dont know what to do.  Back to my earlier point.  Can you afford a small, weekly sum, or are you totally barasic ?  If you don't play poker, how will you fill your time ?  How much money will that cost ?  If you don't want to play poker, fine.  If you're addicted and worrying about losing control, be honest with yourself.  But make sure you're asking yourself the right questions

I feel I have it in me to be a good player but obviously im lacking in something if im having to deposit all the time.
Do I carry on or call it a day? How good do you want to be.  Is being a winner at small stakes not good enough for you ?  Do you want to compete with the semipros ?  Or does the thought of earning a couple of hundred quid a year give you a warm feeling.  If you start from scratch, that is easy, just don't aim too high.

I've just previewed this.  It comes across as patronising bollox.  I didn't mean it that way, I'm just trying to give the other side.  I'm crap at the game, but I love it.  I'm beginning to learn my limitations, and as long as I stay within them, I think I'll be ok. 

It's such a good game, I want everyone else to love it too.

So if you can't be arsed reading all that tosh up there, just remember that the choice is yours alone.  If it's out of your control, get out, get help, there's more important things to life.

But if you're just fed up with it, and you find you're chucking good money after bad, just lower your expectations, and get back to having fun.

BTW - I spent ages writing all that rubbish, so I'm leaving it up there in case anyone's daft enough to plough through it - I did - twice.

Gl with whatever you do.

[kinboshi]

BTW - I spent ages writing all that rubbish, so I'm leaving it up there in case anyone's daft enough to plough through it - I did - twice.

 

(didn't quote the whole thing to save everyone's bandwidth )

[lazaroonie]

if you have an edge at STT or MTT, however small , then you must stick to playing that. There is no point in playing cash. it is a completely different discipline.

I conside myself a decent poker player, but know that I am a poor cash player, because I am a compulsive gambler. So a draw to the nuts in a multiway pot - my brain tells me "are you getting the right odds to call here", meanwhile the rest of me is throwing every coin/note/iou onto the table in the hope that it might hit.

tournament poker is about as far removed from gambling as I know. its about survival, determination, cunning.

So by all means take a break, but if you do decide to play again, stick to what you know. Just because they use the same cards and look the same, the two games are quite different.

[boldie]

like Mr Red said "Dont play with money you can't afford to lose" It's that simple really.

quit playing untill you have money you can afford to play with, and then only stick to something you have fun with. All this money making malarky is great but poker should be fun first and foremost, otherwise you will never play well.
Stick to the stt's when you get back if you do want to make some money (It's what you are decent at, don't even start with cash..it's where you can lose the most the fastest) and like I said..have fun and for God sake don't throw good money after bad.

Best of luck to you.

[suzanne]

After I made that post I decided that I would take a total break from poker and even stay away from Blonde for a while 

Next day I knew there was a sat to the women poker tour with longer blinds which suited me much better and with only 30 mins to start there was only 7 reged. Buy in is £10 with $220 pay in to any game...so i deposited AGAIN and the game just made 10 players in the dying minutes. My intentions are to play my A1 game and win this, I know I have a good chance because I have played a few of these and have notes on most of the players.

Still the first level. We start with 1500 chips, blinds are 10/5 and im on the button with AA, most of the table have limped in and i raise it to 60, a few call and matey boy makes it 100, I raise it to 700 and he/she is allin and what does he/she have.............wait for it .................64offsuit. Flop comes down........10 6 6

That is typical of what has been happening to me for some time now. I know im an average player and I know im not good enough to win HUGE amounts of money. I play for fun and to socialise buy I cant afford to keep depositing and more to the point I dont WANT to anymore.

Last night I decided to check out all my accounts and discovered I still had $2+ on stars so I played 4 games of HU $2 and won 3 of them, then played a $1 27 table and came 4th so I now have $10 woohoo

I have read through the posts and would like to thank you to you all for answering

Zukertort an excellent post and its got me thinking, Ding you hit the nail on the head and thats exactly where I am and Muahahaha it makes perfect sense and thank you for the slap in the face i needed.

I am going to stick by my guns (hopefully) and not deposit anymore and see if I can build a bankroll up from scratch. I have one account that has $42 in it just from freerolls.

I am glad I made the post now and ty to all who answered. I will not play cash anymore and im sticking to stts with the few bob i have left and freerolls. I hope to add a positive result to this thread next month.

[MKKfish]

First two lines of above post says it all...

Personally I don't know how you find the time..what with all the washing, cleaning and cooking that needs doing.

[George2Loose]

Two very simple pieces of advice:

Take a break- do not touch poker for at least 2 weeks- it helps believe me.

Secondly when u do come back, choose ONE site and deposit an amount that will be your bankroll. Your aim is to never ever ever deposit again. Grind it out. Playing for lower stakes is better than not playing at all- remember that.

If you stick by these rules and are a decent player you will soon move up limits- if you're playing above your bankroll the variance will kill you.

If you can- quit, but it's not always that easy

God luck in the future......

[Eyeofsauron]

One of the best threads I've read on this forum in quite a while. I can't offer any better advice than what has already been written, so I'll just wish you the best of luck with your goals.

[ifm]

Thing is you deposited again for the wrong reason, why play a sat?
Can you take the cash?
If so then ok but if not then you are throwing the money away anyhow.

[Graham C]

Go the freerolls route.  I'm considering doing a Chris Ferguson myself and building up to a nice large sum from nothing.

[pffa]

Suzanne,

Take down the Western and you have the beginnings of your bankroll.

Lets have a drink and talk it over there.     

Love Px.

[suzanne]

MKKfish GFY in a nice way :-) ie do it gently

George good advise but I have a live game in less than 2 weeks that I would love to do well in. My current form is bad with a capital B and just boosting the meagre funds I have will be encouragement but tonight has been a bad night. My blonde account was £21 last night and is now £13 :-(

Ifm I did not play this for the cash. The event is 6 live games played all over the country and points are accumulated for each game you play with seats gaurenteed for the winner. I won my first seat online and won my seat in London the same way. This was a $10 buy in for a seat worth $220 with 10 runners, I would be a fool not to give it a go. I cant unfortunatly play all of them and to be honest I think im maybe out of my depth in these as I found the standard to be very good but if nothing else I am getting experience of a live game with some of the top woman players in the country for a very small price. I played because I would like to play in the Reading game.

Look forward to seeing you Paula x