Im not really called Dave:A blog of a bloke who plays poker then writes about it

[AlexMartin]

Had a bit of a brutal day at the tables today, so much so that I ended the session early as it didn’t look like it would get any better, all standard stuff really, aces cracked, ace king doesn’t hit ever, 50p to Tikay etc etc. There was one hand that did make me chuckle to myself a bit though, not so much the hand but the chit chat after.

It was a really standard sort of hand, I had ace-king on the button and raised and got 3-bet by a nitty player in the small blind, I just flat called to mix things up a bit (and recently every time I 4bet a nit he has bullets). The flop came A-T-Q with two spades giving me top pair, top kicker, a gutshot and a backdoor nut flush, all the money goes in the middle. He has king-jack for the nuts and I catch runner runner for the flush.

Obviously I sucked out big time here, but I felt really vindicated by the outdraw because I had been running so badly today and losing to KJ with AK would have had me sulk for the rest of the week,so when he typed in chatbox:

“you are so lucky”

I uncharacteristically retorted back:

“lucky you think KJ is the nuts”

Now I don’t really bother chatting back unless I think I can tilt a guy, and in particular I don’t ever respond to things like this with something that could essentially educate the guy (ie. Telling him that king-jack preflop is not the nuts), but it was just a snap reaction. His response was priceless:

“I don’t, I was just balancing my 3-bet range for metagame”

The definition of metagame has been hotly debated on this forum and although I think I could probably give you some good examples of what it is, I know for certain I can tell you what it isn’t. And that is telling somebody that you are doing something, anything, for metagame purposes against them. Metagame in poker is all about exploiting your image and past history with a player to get them to make a mistake, but I think telling a player that you are doing it kinda cocks it up a bit.

Telling an opponent you played a hand in a particular way to set up a future profitable play is a bit like introducing yourself as a spy on enemy soil (Or the Witness Relocation Programme t-shirt Homer wears in the classic Simpsons episode). The next couple of times he 3-bet me I folded playable hands and was lucky enough to see what he had against other players, and he had some big hands. Had he kept quiet about balancing his range for metagame I would have probably paid him off or at least a little, but being as he all but provided me with a laminated manifesto on how he planned to take my money, I didn’t.

Or.....maybe just maybe it’s an incredibly long term metagame plan of his that is so advanced it makes the Rail Heaven game on Full Tilt look like the £20 hold’em game at Napoleons.

Ironically I did ring up Sky this morning and tell them that I have ‘rung to tell you I’m cancelling so you offer me a better package’, which kind of the same thing. It worked though (Jedi mind shit); if you ring them up and say you want to cancel their standard response is to offer you the premium package for 30quid a month for 3 months.

So I’m about 800 quid down for the day but have saved myself a tenner for the next three months, easy come easy go.

lol@ the hand Barry and great blog. tbh ur never good when u get it in on this flop, i mean what hand can he have that you beat- he's good and wants to dance= u have 4 outs hopefully hehe? Love the outdraw though.

[Jim-D]

Hey Barry,

Just wanted to know a little about your tutor, Is it just a friend you know that you discuss situations and go over poker tracker with or will they be on the phone/MSN whilst playing your session? also how do you go about getting in touch with a reputable one and how much would something like this cost?

Thanks
Jim

[DaveShoelace]

Had a bit of a brutal day at the tables today, so much so that I ended the session early as it didn’t look like it would get any better, all standard stuff really, aces cracked, ace king doesn’t hit ever, 50p to Tikay etc etc. There was one hand that did make me chuckle to myself a bit though, not so much the hand but the chit chat after.

It was a really standard sort of hand, I had ace-king on the button and raised and got 3-bet by a nitty player in the small blind, I just flat called to mix things up a bit (and recently every time I 4bet a nit he has bullets). The flop came A-T-Q with two spades giving me top pair, top kicker, a gutshot and a backdoor nut flush, all the money goes in the middle. He has king-jack for the nuts and I catch runner runner for the flush.

Obviously I sucked out big time here, but I felt really vindicated by the outdraw because I had been running so badly today and losing to KJ with AK would have had me sulk for the rest of the week,so when he typed in chatbox:

“you are so lucky”

I uncharacteristically retorted back:

“lucky you think KJ is the nuts”

Now I don’t really bother chatting back unless I think I can tilt a guy, and in particular I don’t ever respond to things like this with something that could essentially educate the guy (ie. Telling him that king-jack preflop is not the nuts), but it was just a snap reaction. His response was priceless:

“I don’t, I was just balancing my 3-bet range for metagame”

The definition of metagame has been hotly debated on this forum and although I think I could probably give you some good examples of what it is, I know for certain I can tell you what it isn’t. And that is telling somebody that you are doing something, anything, for metagame purposes against them. Metagame in poker is all about exploiting your image and past history with a player to get them to make a mistake, but I think telling a player that you are doing it kinda cocks it up a bit.

Telling an opponent you played a hand in a particular way to set up a future profitable play is a bit like introducing yourself as a spy on enemy soil (Or the Witness Relocation Programme t-shirt Homer wears in the classic Simpsons episode). The next couple of times he 3-bet me I folded playable hands and was lucky enough to see what he had against other players, and he had some big hands. Had he kept quiet about balancing his range for metagame I would have probably paid him off or at least a little, but being as he all but provided me with a laminated manifesto on how he planned to take my money, I didn’t.

Or.....maybe just maybe it’s an incredibly long term metagame plan of his that is so advanced it makes the Rail Heaven game on Full Tilt look like the £20 hold’em game at Napoleons.

Ironically I did ring up Sky this morning and tell them that I have ‘rung to tell you I’m cancelling so you offer me a better package’, which kind of the same thing. It worked though (Jedi mind shit); if you ring them up and say you want to cancel their standard response is to offer you the premium package for 30quid a month for 3 months.

So I’m about 800 quid down for the day but have saved myself a tenner for the next three months, easy come easy go.

lol@ the hand Barry and great blog. tbh ur never good when u get it in on this flop, i mean what hand can he have that you beat- he's good and wants to dance= u have 4 outs hopefully hehe? Love the outdraw though.

I know, he checked the flop and it was so draw heavy that I bet (even thoigh I fold out all the hands I beat), he wasnt playing quite a full stack either so when he shoved I had to call him. Pokerstove obviously tells you that you have a monster but it never seems to be that one time he shoves on you with 9-t

[DaveShoelace]

Hey Barry,

Just wanted to know a little about your tutor, Is it just a friend you know that you discuss situations and go over poker tracker with or will they be on the phone/MSN whilst playing your session? also how do you go about getting in touch with a reputable one and how much would something like this cost?

Thanks
Jim

Nowadays we just go over hand histories but we have also done 'sweat sessions' where we watch each others screens with a free programme called 'teamviewer'. He is just a mate from another forum.

However, you can find great coaches online these days for a small fee. deucescracked.com have world class coaches that charge as little as $50 a session and I know most of them so can vouch for them. Also 2+2 has a thread for reputable coaches which is worth a look.

[Jim-D]

Hey Barry,

Just wanted to know a little about your tutor, Is it just a friend you know that you discuss situations and go over poker tracker with or will they be on the phone/MSN whilst playing your session? also how do you go about getting in touch with a reputable one and how much would something like this cost?

Thanks
Jim

Nowadays we just go over hand histories but we have also done 'sweat sessions' where we watch each others screens with a free programme called 'teamviewer'. He is just a mate from another forum.

However, you can find great coaches online these days for a small fee. deucescracked.com have world class coaches that charge as little as $50 a session and I know most of them so can vouch for them. Also 2+2 has a thread for reputable coaches which is worth a look.

Thank you mate, i'll seriously look in to that

[Graham C]

Great thread Barry, I do enjoy reading your writings and this thread certainly delivers.

I hope the sausage and mash goes well, it's my favourite meal, just can't beat it.

All the best

[Amatay]

Been reading your blog for a few months mate, its good stuff keep it up

[sovietsong]

pretty annoyed with you 'dave', started reading your blog at work, i've lost about 6 hours so far, nearly done but i have a stack of work i in my special draw that remains locked so nobody can find out what a lazy bum i am!

great blog by the way, loving this thread!!

[DaveShoelace]

I’m glad everyone is enjoying it thus far, one of the biggest fears I’ve always had as a writer is that nobody is actually reading the stuff I write. Actually no, the biggest fear is that the people that pay me find out that nobody is reading what I write, but after that being ‘unread’ is the biggest.

Not being able to read or write would also be one of my biggest fears as a writer.

Doing this blonde thread has also reminded me all about my days working in the exciting world of pensions, I certainly do miss the slacking off. My mates have been telling me about a month long period where a bomb threat was rung in every day and the building had to be evacuated last month. The lucky bastards, I loved it whenever we had a fire drill and had to leave the building, ‘snow days’ I called them after the joyous occasions when school got closed. During this period there has also been the return of the man (or woman) who craps in the plant pots, or if not the return a homage to his work.

I always wondered if he crouched over the plant pots to do it or prepared it earlier and put it in a bag or something. I think therein lies the key to whom the phantom plant pot crapper is.

God I miss my old job, lol.

Being my own boss and working from home is a joy, but it certainly does knock your social skills for six. I’ve turned into a right nosey get in the last 18 months and I’m very guilty of people watching on the busy street I live on.  One of the highlights of the day is the postman arriving around 11.20 as my girlfriend buys lots of shit off ebay that is too big to put through the letter box and I usually get a bit of small talk logged for the day.

I have one other mate who works from home and he is going slowly insane from it all and isn’t the best company when I am looking for a bit of a chat and a cuppa. My girlfriend gets up at stupid o’clock in the morning and wakes me up with it (Im an awful sleeper) so I’ve always done pretty standard working hours, I should be playing all night and watching Babestation but instead I punch in at 9.30 am on the dot and finish whenever my missus gets home.

When she does get home I greet her at the door like a dog that’s been left on its own for 3 days. “hadagoodaydoyouwantacupofteawhatshallweeattonightdidyoubringhomesomemilkpleasetalktomeplease” I usually greet her with.  I wouldn’t change it for the world but it’s amazing how you take social interaction for granted when you are in a ‘normal job’.

The flip side of this is that I often get sent to/blag my way into some big poker events, shin digs etc and you get to see a month’s worth of being sat at home alone manifest into a creature I call ‘Wacky Barry’, whom I would have probably wanted to beat up 2 years ago. Apologies to everyone who saw the most recent incarnation in Vegas this year and apologies in advanced to everyone at the Blonde Bash. I also apologise to a Taxi driver in Dortmund, a hotel in Dublin and the Empire Casino in London for similar sightings of Wacky Barry.

Gotta go, my boy Henrik777 is potentially going to be the first person I have staked to return me some actually real money.

[sovietsong]

lol, i love how you reply with another great post!  I think the biggest problem for me if i managed to quit work to play poker full time would be the social aspect, a good friend of mine couldnt handle it and was slowly going mad!

[DaveShoelace]

I got an email today from a complete stranger asking for advice how to break into the world of poker writing. This ‘fan mail’ as I jokingly refer to it (and when I am being an arrogant prick, not jokingly refer to it) is actually quite a common thing and I probably get an email from someone or other asking for advice every couple of months, which I find incredibly flattering. By implication somebody wants what I have and that must be a good sign.

I suppose the best way would be to kill me, being as I account for 42% of all magazine articles with the word poker used more than once.

In a way I shouldn’t help him really, the rotter is trying to nick my bloody work, but I passed on my words of wisdom as I always do because I’ll never forget the people that have helped me along the way. I have actually helped a lot of people in this regard and gotten a lot of people paid work, some of it quite lucrative, others full time jobs and I even helped get a couple of players get sponsored in the past. Some of them have been very grateful and others have never thanked me, annoyingly it’s the fellas that I seemed to do the most for that never seemed to acknowledge it.

But I’m not bitter at all, it just reminds me how appreciative of all the lucky breaks I’ve had as a writer and although I could be here for days if I was to list them all, I have to say that Ian Harris, Dino1980, Paul Sandells and Simon Young (bet he never expected to be mentioned because what he did was small but helped me a lot) all really helped me get myself in a position where people actually asked my advice on things, for which I can never thank them enough.

Loads of other people make the extended list btw but I’m already concerned this is sounding like an Oscars speech. In other news I downloaded The Grand the latest poker movie which I guess must be going straight to DVD in this country. I’m halfway through and it’s hard to work out if its shit or just ok, full review tomorrow I’m sure.

If anyone finds themselves in Sheffield may I reccomend Hendersons Relish flavoured crisps, a local delicacy. I sampled them today for the first time and they are more moreish than a morman mourning Morgan Freedman in the morning.

Big weekend ahead for me, I’m going to a dog show and buying a windscreen wiper. Ship It Holla Balla!

[sovietsong]

Dave (even though its not your real name, if you dont mind it is how i will refer to you)

How can i get into writing?  Is their something you can learn me?

[DaveShoelace]

Dave (even though its not your real name, if you dont mind it is how i will refer to you)

How can i get into writing?  Is their something you can learn me?

You just concentrate on winning me some money young man and I'll teach you to write proper n'that later

[Pelham Boy]

Dave (even though its not your real name, if you dont mind it is how i will refer to you)

How can i get into writing?  Is their something you can learn me?

I found school quite helpful.

[sovietsong]

Dave (even though its not your real name, if you dont mind it is how i will refer to you)

How can i get into writing?  Is their something you can learn me?

I found school quite helpful.

i bet you had trainers with shoe laces too you flash get.