blonde poker forum

Ok, after reading Kev's thread about going shopping a finding a film called "the last bet" for 97p, and claiming it to be the worst film ever made, it got me thinking, this couls be a great debate.....

.....so the worst film ive ever seen has got to be.....

..."Cool As Ice"... Starring Vanilla Ice

(http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b271/Davebhoy67/coolasice.jpg)

if you havent seen this film you really must see it just cos its so shockingly bad.

see here for details of the film: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101615/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101615/)

a typical quote from the film, is when Vanilla ice cruises past the house of the girl he likes on his motor bike, and see's her returning home from a date with this typical american uni geek.....and says "baby, you need to drop that zero and get with the hero" only to cruise away with his biker mates leaving them for dust! - sheer quality!

Ok so fire away with your masterpieces:

It has to be Rocky 4, that film was soo bad it made Hudson Hawk watchable.

Rancid Aluminium.

are you serious? - Rocky 4 is the best rocky movie, ive watched it about 200 times i have it on DVD in my special DVD collection of best movies ever watched lol

ok ok ok i know this debate is about opinions and your entitled to yours. xx

Pay it Forwards - sentimental greet fest bullshit.... only good bit was when the kid got chibbed.

Lost in translation.

So bad, so very very bad.

lol i remember that film (starring Kevin Spacey) it was rubbish - good post!

Some of these films are so bad, they're good.

Like Poker 425!

 ;scarymoment;

precisely, im actually contemplating purchasing 'cool as ice' just cos its so bad

It's one of the best films I've ever seen!!

You are entitled to your opinion, even when you are wrong

Perhaps I missed the good bits when I was asleep?

AI

urghhh. It had about 6 endings. Just pick one and end it!

Just out of interest, what made it so bad?

I have heard it described as being one of those films you either love or hate. I think it's great but of the group I went to see it with when it came out the other 3 all hated it

I was asleep after 10 minutes.

Remind me why it was so good?

love actually is about as offensive as films come, the last time she got the choice for quite some time.

I started off watching the film thinking that it had brilliant characterization, it took a while to realise that was all there was and their was no actual err... plot, as such. But it did it so well that I like it. Possibly summing up what's so good and what's so bad about it?

That sounds fair enough.  It's a marmite film.

I don't like marmite either.

Notting Hill.

The most incredibly patronising, condescending, intellectually empty, 'Jeremy could you pour me another glass of that Chablis', 'Jocasta is very bright for her age' piece of crap committed to celluloid.

I had to scrub myself clean after watching it.

Good question.  And one that I probably give a good answer to.  But I loved every second of it.  I got given the DVD by an ex-girlfriend who got really offended that I didn't watch it straight away.  All my friends had slated it so i was worried if I watched it again I'd be dissappointed.  Got it out of the case last week, still love it.


Good point, I think Garden State is the same, I loved it but friend just thought it was weird.  And it wouldn't surprise me to find someone putting it on this thread.

But Rhys Ifans is quality in it...

As for bad films, 'Chain Reaction' with Keanu Reeves was really really bad, even with the special effects and on the big screen - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115857/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115857/).

But shortly afterwards got pipped to the post as the worst film I've ever seen by Pammies, 'Barb Wire' - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115624/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115624/).

I've fairly successfully avoided really bad films since then, so these two are still the top of my 'so bad they've gone beyond being so bad they're good and come round full circle to being just bad again list'.

I hate to admit but I agree with you ;)

Also there should be a category for chick flicks (which all are garbage) - but the rare few which you don't mind watching to keep her from moaning about the wrestling and poker being on TV all the time.....

Only one fits though - Coyote Ugly!!!

Maybe not THE worst film, but certainly getting up there is Kingdom of Heaven.

I forced James to watch this last summer,the only thing I knew about it was that Orlando Bloom was in it (that was enough for me) I don't think I will ever be able to make up for putting him through such a terrible film. The most entertaining thing that happened was me spilling freezing cold coke all over my jeans!

Still truly sorry hun xx lol

Something that can't be said for Rancid Aluminium.

Still not forgiven....

Worst film ever...

Has got to be   The blair witch project !!

i loved it   ;hide;

Twister
Star Wars Eps 1
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Striptease
Garfield 2

Eternal Sunshine... stands out as being completely out of place on this list - a genius film from a genius script writer I think you'll find.

And it has Kate Winslet in it.

Wow, this really is a personal taste thread, I saw this for the first time only a couple of days ago, and I honestly thought it was brilliant! So much so, that it's gone into my top 10! lol

Don't be such a dimwit yt, how can you have that in your list of worst films?

It's Garfield - in London. What more can you want from a film?

showgirls has to be among the worst of all time.

but the winner is hollow man with kevin bacon.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160399/

Probably Wes Craven's Dracula 2001... Excuse me while I get out of the way so Johnny Lee Miller can crowbar in some exposition about Dracula actually being Judas Iscariot, oops spoiled the film now. ::)

But I think this is the bizzarest film I've ever seen. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089489/) I saw the words 'Space Vampires' and thought there was no way I could not watch that film. And it has Harry from Spooks in it.

Once again, I get to try and force the distinction between films that you either hate for very personal reasons, their being not to your taste (marmite films? :D) and films that we can all agree should simply not have been filmed.

Rancid Aluminium - good call. A film so bad that few people have probably seen it, and that's a good thing.

In fact, there are so many bad British films that we could name, Fat Slags, Sex Lives of the Potato Men, the list is fairly endless, we don't even need to bother with Hollywood.

Kingdom of Heaven was not awful, just banal. When Jeremy Irons or Liam Neeson are around, it's watchable, and it has good cavalry charges. It's a much better film than 'Alexander', which I saw recently. Orlando is fairly emotionless, but he's not as miscast as Mr. Farrell was, in my opinion. They both have good war scenes though.

I nominate 'Ice Pirates' to the list.

Robert Urich, Angelica Huston, and absolutely the worst performance in a film ever, from Bruce Vilanch's decapitated head. (For all you masochists out there.)

Sex lives of the potato men is a comedy classic.

I also liked Lost in Translation, not the best film ever, but good performances. It's not a 'multiplex' film, a lot of it was shot on the spur of the moment (from what I understand).

I agree that AI went on too long and had one ending too many, but that doesn't make it one of the worst films of all time...  :D

Independance Day

2 & a half hours of my life I'm never getting back  >:(

The Hills Have Eyes was rubbish.  I hated another movie I saw recently as well, it was called Syriana.

Did you know that as well as playing Lance Armstrong, Matt Damon will also be playing Captain James T kirk in the new Star Trek movie due out in 2008.

[
[/quote]

Something that can't be said for Rancid Aluminium.
[/quote]                                                                                                                      ?? was this a film version of the james hawes novel?, i never knew there was a movie, it was a kind of funny book!!

It was a dreadful film though.

mines is properly excluding the really bad films you get with that cheep DVD player from Argos must be closer now this is terrible but Clive Owen is amazing in it its weird how a film can be so bad but an actor to be so Good in it

another i would add to the list would be 'when dreams may come' with robin Williams where his dead son dies white and ends up black in heaven his wife ends up in hell......... well you get the point

I thought I was the only person unlucky enough to see this.  This is by far the worst film I've ever seen.  I was trapped on a bus and couldn't get away from it.

totally agree with all apart from Twister, i loved it, but then i took a little weather / storm chaser phase in my early teens

OMG how can anyone say a Film with Will Smith in it is bad....i was heart broken when i lost my VHS copy of this film, that is till i re ordered it from HMV last year on special edition DVD! - Astounding movie IMO of course

"Hope floats" starring sandra bullock.

An ex girlfriend forced me to sit through this.

A "feel good" movie that makes you want to stick forks in your eyes has missed the target somewhat.

Cobra with Sly Stallone was pretty garbage as was hercules in new York with Big Arnold swapyourknickers, The early attempt ast the JLA movie "super friends" was pretty awful too

I will have to admit that I cant stand the sound of music, Its so well acted i just hate the fact its a musical, it almost takes the seriousness of the plot away.

rant over

TBH mate i dont thin k films like sound of music count in film threads! lol

2 of the worst films ive watched are unfaithful so pants
and mr n mrs smith hated it bored me

(totally off topic how class is xmen 3 loved it watched it last night!!!!)

I kind of enjoyed it but I've always liked Philip K Dick stories.

Dreamcatcher
Alexander
Anything Uwe Boller touches
The second half of Mullholland Drive
Aliens Resurrection
too many more to mention

Interesting, a Gary Sinise flick I'd never heard of...  good cast. I can only assume there's a good reason why it slipped under my radar :D

Lord of the Rings trilogy - CG pisch. (Watch Clerks 2 for a decent rambattle of this drivel)

Godfather Trilogy - Anyone who can put tissue paper in their mouth could do as good a job as Brando. He never even said "capeche" disapointing.

Original Star Wars Trilogy - Not enough Gungans.
 
Citizen Kane - Saw it coming a mile off. No colour too, get tae buggery.

Shawshank Redemption - Prison Flick, yawn, I'd rather see what Sheila and the girls are up to on cell block H.

Pulp Fiction - Who talks like that, really?


I loved Garfield 2, never watched it, just enjoyed the tag line.

A tale of two kitties, genious punnery.

No wonder Andrew is defending it, he probably wrote it.  :D

Piss taking is not appreciated on this forum Mr Thetank.. we are proud of our users views and appreciate your Vegas lounging ass from extracting the urine!!
 :D :D

Hope you are enjoying the place mate !!


Do me a favour, grab me a deck of cards from the Bellaggio, its the only deck I forgot to get.

being john malkovich

revolver----- guy richies shocker from earlier in the year

I haven't seen Revolver, it looked a bit rubbish.

But I have to defend Being John Malkovich - good film, great writer. I'm always going to defend a Charlie Kaufman film he is a writing genius.  8) 8)

I'm shocked at some of the films being mentioned in this thread. I might not be fanatical about them, but how films like Lost In Translation, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Rocky 4 and Independence Day make it into your worst films EVER list, I'll never know.

Personally, I'd rather poo on Blair Witch 2, Showgirls, The Crow 2, Spiceworld, Master Of Disguise, BattleField Earth and The Postman

I defy anyone who attempts to defend any of that lot.

And to be controversial... I'd plump for the Mummy.  ;hide;

I've also heard that Catwoman, Hulk, Son of Mask and Glitter are pischtastic too.

House of Wax.

As a "horror" fan I actually found myself crying from laughter. But then, what did I expect from a film co-starring Paris Hilton?

i suspect someone is at the wind up here????

this is a serious debate mate, just you get back to the tables....or should i say bar?

Holy ****.

I'm assuming you mean that Dana Carvey film where he dresses up as a giant turtle for no reason. Felt sorry for all concerned.... :(

do you not think the bit at the end, when the house is melting was so bad it was 'turn off TV'...able!

surely that was the best bit? I am wondering how they got the foundations for that building in place though...

i didnt think it would need any, i mean how heavy can wax be?

...are we really having this conversation?

over the top with sly stallone ... can you say CHEEESE!!

Got it in one! I did. I also had to clean my DVD player before I could play any other movie.... :(

"Convoy" A film based on a hit song about truckers and C/B radios, rubber duck etc. was truly dire.

IMHO of course  ::)

:redcard: :redcard: :tikay:

Although I uphold your right to have a totally wrong opinion ;)

I agree with all of Snoopy's (especially 'Battlefield Earth' and 'Glitter' - truly abominable)
But my personal worst has to be 'Unbreakable' which I nearly walked out of, and 'Disclosure', which Danafish did walk out of.  Oh, and 'Showgirls.'  But Snoopy said that first.  How about that one about a Duck from another world?  Help me out here... "Howard the Duck"?  Something like that.  I also hated 'My Best Friend's Wedding' and one I bet no one else will have seen: 'The Adventures of Pluto Nash.'

And 'Scooby-Doo The Movie' which I had to watch on repeat on one intercontinental flight as our little TVs were broken.  I wanted to stab someone with my plastic spoon by the end.

How dare you!!!!

A true classic

I thought Unbreakable was a great movie, it was pitched to the wrong market, hence a lot of people pan the flick. If you are like me love the whole comic book ethos, it was not a big stretch of the imagination to understand and appreciate the movie.

 ;goodvevil;

so your the other person thats seen it - Eddie Murphy's worst movie of all time

Anything with John Wayne.  He is a terrible actor.  He says things like  " A man's got to eat don't he "  while dressed as a cowboy. His female co-stars are about 35 years younger than he is.  I hate his movies.

If I ever gain a political position, I will ban all his movies  :D.  They do my head in

Get off your Horse and drink yer Milk!

lol,  yea it is lines like that he uses.   He is terrible.  Clint Eastwood and Steve Mcqueen are great cowboys, John Wayne isn't

all the Star Wsrs films.............................. rip off the Shaolin story replace monks with jedi's. Replace Taoism with the 'force'.


Also Flintstones the movie, Betty was sposed to be a hot chick............ffs.

Via rock vegas on the other hand

Um.... No. I could go in to depth but i feel my wife would kill me as she is nagging me to get off the computer, But sating that either Heid or the baron will no doubt set you straight.

Spot on Star Wars is Piss!

shut it you

says the man that likes constantine or clememtine or wotever guff that was...lol



star wars is gggreat

Make me Morrison!

yes i do say that....i bet your just scared of scary movies aint ya, aint ya, AINT YA!

Dave,

Star Wars is the greatest film series of all time.

So shut it! ;)

i beg to differ matey.

'Rocky' is the greatest film series, followed by 'Back to the Future' then 'the Matrix'

You do like some soppy films m8.

Bad Boys, Rocky LOL

Rocky has to be the biggest load of rubbish after Rambo...

Just watched "Back to The Future" again.  What a great film that is.  A true classic

Yep, definitely.

All Star Wars, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are absolute rubbish IMO. Also hate Xmen aswell.

(waits for the abuse!)

I hated Harry Potter as well.  I loved X-Men, Famke Janssen is a really attractive woman

soppy???

where abouts in Bad Boys is there soppiness???? - hidden somewhere between the guns and explosions? or is it behind the comedy element? Greatest film ever made (....one of)

rotflmfao

The film is just one of those "God Bless America" tacky bullshit films.

Great taste! ;)

Chicken Tikka Masala



Acting rubbish, filming rubbish, set in Preston - bloody brilliant - not!  lol

Ringer

found it highly offensive and switched it off 10 mins into start

I watched Wolf creek the other night on film4 ..... incredibly gruesome and stomach churning, yet i couldnt switch it over ... 

3 films where I would have walked out of the cinema if I'd been on my own

Single White Female
Indecent Proposal
Patriot Games

the new superman film is utter crap

worst film i have seen in a LONG time

Check out  Lucky Number Slevin.  That is a great film.  I know this is for worst films, but some people will think this is a bad film. So technically it should be in this thread.

'going overboard 'starring' adam sandler.  no wonder it cost £2.99 from play

totally agree. three hours of some steroid freak with his arms in the air. there was a real cracker on last night: We Were Soldiers. It Were Bollocks

Shark boy and Lava Girl in 3D

TBH mate i loved 'we were soldiers', it was a great movie

Why?

any movie where they waving the US flag.. 2d 7c

The Road to Wellville.............so bad and utterly boring it put me off cinema for 6 months

Watched Hard Eight the other week, what a waste of time that was.

i just really enjoyed it

We'll just have to agree to disagree then. Thought it was the usual boring, gung-ho American crap. Just tell me you didn't like Speed 2 and I'll let you off  :D

Of course we will mate, thats what a debate it for lol

didnt like speed 2 at all......i did love speed 1 tho...you?

Speed was a good laff. Getting dragged to Miami Vice tomorrow night. I fear the worst  :D

I agree Speed was good but Speed2 was pants..

According to Newmanseye Miami Vice is Class....and TBH i really fancied seeing it, even before he told me this, looking forward to it coming out on DVD soon

absolutely. the only good thing about it was how embarrassed the actors looked at actually being in it lol. I kept waiting for one of them to scream for their agent

what film is this....speed 2?....elaborate man, or use the Quote button to reply lol

yeah, meant speed 2. you jumped in before me lol. so billy liked miami vice? now i really fear the worst hehe

The fim - Honest directed by Dave Stewart , yes the Dave Stewart; starring some of the 'All saints' the ex - pop group it took so little at the box office it did not last even a week at the cinema.

;iagree;, terrible film.

Miami Vice was great, Michael Mann at his best, he wastes no time introducing the lead characters or how their partnership began, its straight in to the thick of gritty busts, Great locations and danger round every corner, the 80's TV show is nowhere to be found in this rebirth.

I reccomend for everyone to have a look at this movie, even just to see Colin Farrels handlebar moustache!

Now there's a good reason to cough up £10... ::)

£10????? where do you go watch movies?

try £5.50 wooohooo

I live in London. It's a tenner.

I mind when it was 2/6  ;tk;

well bugger that for a game of soldiers, where i stay it

£5.50 each x 2 people = £11
£2.60 hot dog x 2 = £5.20
£3.20 Large Ice Junky x 1 to share = £3.20
£2.40 Large Nachos x 1 for me = £2.40

Total for film and to fill my belly = ££21.80!!!

Posted for John Larsson:

Kindergarden Cop!!!!! - utter P***!

Got to admit the womans a bit of a MILF tho  ;goodvevil;

Never noticed, was too busy Vomiting!

Kindergarden cop 3 with jim carrey, now that was crap.

what about the upcoming Kindergarden cop 4 with Dale Winton

Number 4 is Vin Diesel, its coming out next year :D

youd think after the Pacifier, he'd chuck that genre!

Ohhh thats right...i nominate 'The pacifier'!

I paid £10 to see Superman (which was highly entertaining by the way).

It's a small cinema in Hampstead. Very homely, sells beers and stuff and even has a sofa only screen with footrests, which is pretty damn cool.

Well worth the 10 bob!

10 bob is 50p, Beagle.

they missed the boat with kindergarden cop.

They could've had:

Kindergarden cop vs predator, 

kindergarden cop reloaded,

kindergarden cop apocalypse,

Kindergarden cop hidden dragon,

he couldve been bigger than rocky!!

 

Kindergarden Cop and the Sunshine Band.

The chronicles of Kindergarden cop

Kindergarden Cop in my pants.

I remember a real shocker, "the Wizard" starring Fred Savage, all about a boy who plays nintendo, soo bad ... soo soo  sooooooooo Bad

I remember that film. ;D

Kindergarten Cop meets Snakes On a Plane?

Speaking of dreadful movies set on planes:

'Turbulence' with Ray Liotta.

Any martial arts films


i mean any


wot a crock of..............

I mean is this the worst title for a film you've ever heard or what, snakes on a plane?

how did they come up with that?, i bet the working title was something quite good but then they employed superstar hollywood advertising company that charged the studio $3million to come up with it.

"we've got this really great film but we need to advertise it just right so we want you to come up with the title and ad campaign"

"ok, no problem, whats the film about"?

"snakes"

"where are they"?

"on a plane"

"leave it with us, we'll see what we can come up with"

"thankyou"

4 months and $30million later........................

"right we've got it"

"great, let me hear it"

"you sure you're ready cos its so great, are you sitting down"?

"yeah, just let me hear it you mug"

"alright, calm down"

"this call costs me double before 6pm"

"we called you sir"

"whatever, get on with it"

"snakes on a plane, wadda you think" !!!!!!!!!!!!

"your a mug"

 

You probably all know this by now, but that exact thought went through the minds of a few of the producers and they decided to change the name of the film to "Pacific Air Flight 121".

Samuel L. Jackson threatened to quit, reportedly saying "The only reason I did this movie was because it was called 'Snakes on a Plane'... We're changing it back!"

So 'Snakes on a Plane' it is.

During production, some internet fan clubs even shot their own 'parody' mini-trailers for the film with their version of the Samuel L. Jackson character uttering Pulp-Fiction-stylee dialogue like "Get these mutha***ing snakes off this mutha***ing plane!"

Surprisingly enough, the SOAP producers found out about it.

Instead of suing the imitators, they simply ordered reshoots - and the real SLJ now gets to say that line in the movie...

 8)

Snakes on a plane?

Bollox, I'm going to see it for the title alone.

Naked simplicity, exactly what it says on the tin mentalitly.

In this world where 9 out of 10 dentists recommend a particular toothpate, we need more of that.

I support it, and intend to pay double at the box office out of sheer principle.

Snakes on a plane will be the year's biggest hit.

I'll admit I am a little upset.

My screenplay for "Snakes on a Bus" was knocked back a few times.

Soooooo close

I've lost faith in your punditry since I bought every lads mag going for the past month, and found none of the Pipettes in bikinis.  >:(

See what you've down there is confuse musicians with former soap actresses desperately needing attention.

Me and you want a beer.  :cheers:

lol,  I was going to post about Snakes on a plane.  I saw it advertised when I was watching the 4400.  It looks completely terrible

Snakes on a Plane - the title and the film pitch in one.

It seems like they're trying to create a 'classic', this doesn't bode well. (Classic as in classic cheese, or so bad its good, not as in a quality film obviously).

I think I'm just going to wait for it's sequel, Snakes on a Plane 2: Eels in an Igloo

but there's been a spoof made already - Snakes on a Train :D

This film could be just the antidote we need to the normal Hollywood way of making films. And to be fair - they were aiming to make a 'so bad it's good' type film - which is whay Jackson signed up for it (and fought against the renaming).

Lost In Translation...Tagline..."What's the Japanese for yawn?"

Latest Superman and Miami Vice also pisspoor, the former requiring a pillow and the latter, subtitles!

If you want to purchase a quality film on DVD, get MEMENTO, it's a cracker of a movie starring Guy Pearce.

They have already made the quintessential 'so bad its painful' movie - Air Force One - truly awful!!

the film on film 4 last night about the midlands thank god i had no rope in the house

I may have said this before, But I hate HULK.  It is terrible.  I wouldn't say this to his face though, he may get angry

Bit of trivia - Liesel Matthews (aka Liesel A. Pritzker) who is in Air Force One is estimated to be worth around $500 million.

the jolly green giant would ruin the hulk, but kindergarden cop would smack them both.

C'mon, John Matrix was the dude not to feck with, he ate green Berrets for breakfast!

you speak the truth!!

yes but he wasnt in Kindergarden so it doesnt count!