blonde poker forum

Righteo

The title should keep Shark at bay (no pun intended)

Here, we can conspire to kidnap him in the street as he goes to the shop for potatoes, stick a bag over his head, bung him in the back of a transit van, and drive him down to Walsall for BB3.

Who's with me?

what is the penalty if someone who has been accosted by a savage horse reads this thread?!

I think the kidnapping thing is a bit extreme, but I do agree that Sark needs to be at BB3 - come on Sark, you can put in a few extra hours study before and afterwards.  You will be treated like royalty if you make it down!

right! i've got a bag!

I've got some potatoes.

i've got a stick

i know were he lives

You can pose as the potatoe seller then

boy is he going to be surprised!

That'll probably be a big help.


That's good too.

I'm a horse whisperer, will that be any help?

How long before MI6 take over this thread and we all get arrested under anti terrorim laws  :D

Red already taught us all the trick, sorry mate.

If you can drive a van though....

and we still need more sticks (I think)

ok, i dont know were he lives

and a bung

I know a good vet too.


He teases studs to cover mares in his spare time, but somehow that might not be appreciated here

ive got a whole tree full of sticks

Erm..that's what the sticks are for.

lol,  I have just put the bolt on my front door and the mechanical dog door sensor has had it's batteries changed. ( mechanical dog = when you open my front door, a sensor makes the sound of a barking dog )

 :redcard: read the title of the thread Sark!  And let Bolt go - he's got amusing posts to write!

:D   Different bolt, Claire. This one is metal and prevents intruders stealing my stuff

Quick, right, who had the sticks?

Me, and someone else i think, why whats the new plan?

is he another bot?

I was hoping you knew.  :dontask:

LOL, well at least we know the dog isnt real....

perhaps the mods could give us a secret plotting board?

nope, I'd rather see most of your plotting in public please!

Is this for graphs we don't want anyone else to see.

You see how long that reply took... they had to have a meeting in their secret mod room to try and work out how you knew about it.  You've been marked now Claw

 rotflmfao @ this entire thread

she was marked as a subversive influence planted here by dark forces long before this thread

We have threads and threads in our secret room planning our counter attack!

Where is tikay the boss man of these secret talks?  I haven't seen him about for a few days

Off on a "Spycraft for OAPs" course at the SAS in Hereford

Doh - Rumbled.  Will have to come up with a new and more cunning plan.


*waves stick*

Before i actually read the thread and find myself in deep water could someone answer my question below?

In the jungle i was once accosted by a savage zebra - does that count?

unfortunately its not a simple black and white answer

lol

Darn - it never is :(

I will refrain then from reading the thread for now.

IMHO it is fine for you to read Matt.  The penguin, however, appears not to be paying attention *waves stick again*

on what nature programme was it that you saw David Attenborough saying that penguins responded to waving sticks?

May I suggest attaching a herring to said stick, you might get his attention then

I am waving the stick not to get his attention, but with the intention of hitting him with it.  Am I banned now?

Expect a PM issuing a formal warning. I do not approve of cruelty to penguins. Strangely you would be the first person in forum history to be banned for such an offence.

I came across cruelty to llamas from way back, but never penguins

I'm ashamed to admit it but this monkey abuses penguins on a regular basis, often bashing them to a pulp.



































I then open the wrapper and enjoy the chocolaty biscuit crumbs...............

lol   

The sticks clearly aren't working.  As you're here now Sark, are you going to give us the answer we want??

Did anyone else get caught in the heavy rain today?   I got soaked twice

The meaning of the name Claire is   -  bright and clear

I am going to eat pasta and vege for dinner tonight. Fantastic meal

These are all subject changing answers  :D

When was the last time you ate meat, Sark?

uh oh - the programme has gone out of control!!

About 1995 mate.  I was having a conversation with some cows at my work in the afternoon, later when I went home, I decided I wouldn't eat another animal or fish.

:-\

Not exactly a conversation, I was chatting to them during my lunch hour

"Eh, I'm eating your uncle in this delicious beef sandwich"

Yes, that's why the cows didn't talk back.

Wow, imagine being 'blanked' by a cow.

That's gotta suck.

The only time cows ever speak to me is when I'm standing in their way.

They ask me to Mooooooooooove.  ::)

They were more interesting than my workmates.


lol  tank

GROAN

Sorry, forgot the quote

GROAN

I've been thinking how to combine the posts in this thread with unparalleled cunning and comedic brilliance to imply my girlfriend is a cow.

I wanted to do a play on words that Incorporated the sentiment of the last few posts amalgamated with direct reference to some of sarks comments.


I wanted to find a balance between the modern day dry sarcasm of Ricky Jervis tempered with the slapstick genius of Leslie neelson.

Ive come up with something special i think..................................................































"My girlfriend is a cow"

You've now put me in the mood for some Extras followed by the Naked Gun series. All on DVD.

 ;yellowcard;

Mine was equally as witty but by the time id scrolled down the page to create a gap in the sentences(to build anticipation) i  couldnt remember wtf it was!!!

I think i covered it up pretty well though ;) ;D

You thought wrong mate.....

I've got a cheek. Oh no wait, I've got that thing, what's it called? Oh yeah , taste....  ;goodvevil;

bolt

is this your ex girlfriend or are you back with her. if she is such a cow give her the spanish fiddle - el bow. you might be happier:)

bollox

If she puts up with you, the women is obviously a saint. She's golden and you gotta keep 'er.

The cow is of the bovine ilk.

One end moo,

The other, milk.