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was it you that wrote in Tighty?

no, my live-in 19 year old Lithuanian housekeeper.

no, my live-in 19 year old Lithuanian housekeeper.

Chuck it on the floor and stamp on it

Chuck it on the floor and stamp on it

I hit it with a sledgehammer"!!!!!!!!

Do you think that was painless

I hit it with a sledgehammer"!!!!!!!!

How would you kill a goldfish pain free so it didnt suffer.

I used to hate hitting birds with my car so started carrying a golf club around in the boot.

Is this an extract from Peter Sutcliffe's autobiography?

If fish feel pain, then surely sticking them in a freezer isn't gonna feel like a holiday in the sun, or a bj from a fit girl.They will go into a coma, but this isnt gonna be instant

Its gonna hurt them and they will feel it

How to euthanize a fish
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Tag: Science
Tag: Organisms
PZ Myers • 48 Comments (last page)
Idyllopus asks a good question: how do you humanely euthanize a fish? As a fish biologist, I get this question fairly often.

Another question I get is, "Fish can't feel pain, right?" It's usually phrased exactly that way, too—they aren't looking for an accurate answer, they're looking for a reassurance that casual brutality towards cold and slimy creatures is acceptable. The actual answer, though, is "Of course they can feel pain, you clueless boob! Mind if I put this barbed hook through your lip?"* The fish cutaneous sensory network is intricate and exquisite, and they react vigorously to noxious stimuli. We often don't recognize their responses because fish faces are rather expressionless, but if you're in the know you learn to notice the signs. Zebrafish, for instance, blanch noticeably when they're stressed or fearful or in pain.

So how should one kill a fish? People recommend some incredibly brutal methods. Throw them in a blender, they say, it's quick—yeah, and I imagine that throwing cats in a woodchipper would be quick, too, but no one suggests that humane societies should adopt it. There's also the 'club them over the head' method, or 'pick them up by the tail and whack them hard against a table edge'. Those work, if the executioner is swift and sure, which most people aren't. In most cases you end up with a fish frantically flopping on the table, or a bleeding mess of an animal that's feebly twitching, so you have to whack it a few times. (This is how my father and I used to kill salmon, though: we had a heavily weighted club, and we were also very quick and confident.) I think plucking an aquatic animal out of its environment and swinging it through a hostile atmosphere also counts as inhumane.

Less nasty techniques are the freezer and alcohol strategies. I don't think putting a fish in a freezer is humane: they don't seem to react strongly to slowly freezing to death, but then they can't—their metabolism is shutting down. Fish tend to be very sensitive to cold, though, and seek out optimal temperatures and avoid the cold, and can respond to changes of a few degrees with shock, so I have my doubts that this is a good way for them to go. Putting them in water with a few percent alcohol might be OK; they do get drunk, pass out, and die, just like people can.

Here's the way I euthanize fish, though, and since I've killed many thousands, I can say it's the cleanest, least painful way to do it, for both me and the fish. It's an anesthetic used for frogs and fish that goes by various names: ms222, MESAB, 3-aminobenzoic acid ethyl ester, tricaine methanesulfonate, or, as most of the pet and aquaculture supply houses call it, Finquel. For routine anesthesia, I use a 0.2% solution of the stuff—let a fish swim in it for a few minutes, they lose consciousness, you can do various surgeries on them, and then put them in clean fresh water, and a few minutes later, they're awake and swimming around again. If I need to euthanize them, I use a 0.4% solution (or more crudely, I use my 0.2% stock and sprinkle a few extra crystals of the ms222 powder in the beaker), put the fish in it, they fall asleep…and after 3-5 minutes, their heart stops. It will kill them at lower doses, but simply takes longer.

I get my stuff from Sigma, catalog number a-5040, for those of you who can purchase through academic suppliers. Otherwise, here are a few commercial places that will sell it to you: Doctors Foster & Smith, PondRX, and Argent Labs. It's about $15-20 for a 5 gram bottle, which sounds expensive, but a little goes a very long ways. I bought a 25 gram bottle 8 years ago, and I've still got lots left…and I euthanize fish far more often than your usual pet fish owner.

It's good to be prepared, too. Several years ago, my colony was suddenly struck with hemorrhagic septicemia, a bacterial infection that causes blood vessels to rupture and fish to die slowly and unpleasantly and messily, and after spending days trying to treat it with antibiotics and water changes and new tanks and hoses and so forth, I had to spend a sad afternoon putting about 400 fish out of their misery. Using an anesthetic in bulk was the only reasonable way to do it.



*While I am fully aware that fish can feel pain, I still enjoy fishing and eating fish. I just don't delude myself into thinking the fish are enjoying themselves in a friendly tussle out there on the end of the line.

There's a surprise, a Scotsman saying the answer to all your problems is alcohol...........  ;whistle;

;)

I still stand by my food blender theory!!! The fish never has to leave the water simply pour him in there and turn it on. Instant fish puree!

Keep it in the boot next to the 3 wood.

Flushing it down the loo - is like trying to re-enact a scene from Free Willy (although as he was a whale, he wouldn't fit down the pan) - very humane in principle, but possibly slightly flawed.

A book that was a bestseller in Japan for ages might help us on our quest here.  'The Complete Manual of Suicide' wasn't targeted at goldfish (as they'd forget what they'd read on the previous page), but is an interesting read and it attempts to highlight the pros and cons of different methods of suicide.

Maybe some of these could be transferred over to our scaly friend?  I haven't got my copy to hand, but I remember that leaping in front of a train was a highly successful way of achieving a quick death (although in Japan your family is then responsible for the clean up operation, and so if you're not happy with them and want to kill yourself it's like getting Bully's special prize).  So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.  He wouldn't know what hit him.  Logistically, it might be difficult to execute correctly - and I suppose it's important to get the bowl at the right height so it isn't deflected and the fish's death extended over a period of time due to it not being completely obliterated.

Anyway, have a look at the overview of the book on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Manual_of_Suicide - quite interesting, if slightly strange.

I think explosion is the way forward.  Instant, with no suffering.  Although slightly messy.

would it not be simpler just to use the manual - literally?

I have found that a few drops  of dettol will do the job very quickly.

Flushing it down the loo - is like trying to re-enact a scene from Free Willy (although as he was a whale, he wouldn't fit down the pan) - very humane in principle, but possibly slightly flawed.

A book that was a bestseller in Japan for ages might help us on our quest here.  'The Complete Manual of Suicide' wasn't targeted at goldfish (as they'd forget what they'd read on the previous page), but is an interesting read and it attempts to highlight the pros and cons of different methods of suicide.

Maybe some of these could be transferred over to our scaly friend?  I haven't got my copy to hand, but I remember that leaping in front of a train was a highly successful way of achieving a quick death (although in Japan your family is then responsible for the clean up operation, and so if you're not happy with them and want to kill yourself it's like getting Bully's special prize).  So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.  He wouldn't know what hit him.  Logistically, it might be difficult to execute correctly - and I suppose it's important to get the bowl at the right height so it isn't deflected and the fish's death extended over a period of time due to it not being completely obliterated.

Anyway, have a look at the overview of the book on Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Manual_of_Suicide - quite interesting, if slightly strange.

I think explosion is the way forward.  Instant, with no suffering.  Although slightly messy.

So one way of getting rid of the fish would be to place the goldfish bowl in the path of an oncoming tube train.

The clearance beneath a London Underground Train would mean the goldfish bowl escaped unscathed, which is a good thing, as I'm with Mad on this.

Remember also - &, admittedly, this counts for human suicides more than goldfish suicides, which are quite rare I believe, as Goldfish are, on the whole, happy & content things, that it is extremely traumatic for the Train Driver when someone throws themself on the line. A little more consideration for others when doing the suicide thing is in order, remember the poor Train Driver.

Recently, the greatly improved Communications on London Underground has resulted in frequent announcements along these lines "...there are severe delays on the Hammersmith & City Line due to a customer under a train at Kings Cross".  Assuming he jumped or fell, & is not just having a look at the extremely interesting bogie arrangement on Tube Stock to satisfy his curiosity, it sends a shiver down my spine very time.

come on kinboshi!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you even give him the slightest hint of a platform(literally) ::)