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Title: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 03:35:10 PM it was a nice idea that got out of hand before. slightly different though this time. how about you put a feed like down and the thread doesnt continue until someone else delivers the correct punch line. the deliverer of the punchline then gives a feed line and so on
family jokes please. I'll start us off with; How do you kill a circus? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 03:39:59 PM tell everyone that you are raising the buy in to £100 from £20!!
last time they tried it, the place was a ghosttown :) Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 03:42:02 PM A stick of dynamite in it's ring?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 03:45:59 PM I SAID CLEAN >:(
Q, How do you kill a circus? A, you go for the juggler. try again. Q, What's brown and sticky? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 03:47:45 PM The yak I was glued to
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 03:50:28 PM What's brown and sticky
A: A stick only problem is Red's replies are funnier!! Question: Why did the dinousaur cross the road? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 04:01:21 PM It was the chickens day off
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 04:02:35 PM Why did the duck quack?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 04:04:46 PM No, chickens hadn't been invented yet.
Question The husband had just finished reading the book, "MAN OF THE HOUSE". He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" His wife replied ???? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Rod Paradise on October 11, 2005, 04:11:13 PM What do you call a Judge with no thumbs?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 04:14:47 PM sorry red-dog, I posted before I saw your next question
I think the idea guys is answer the question before we move on /:-| Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 04:15:24 PM Justice fingers
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 04:18:05 PM What do you call a Judge with no ears?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 04:23:06 PM i think the idea of this thread isnt catching on......
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:23:26 PM no me niether
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 04:26:16 PM lol, i posted my reply after starting to read a whole host of jokes that have now disappered :(
p.s. TE - what did the wife say? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:29:56 PM What do you call a Judge with no ears? anything you like, he can't hear you? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 04:30:36 PM Matt
the wife says " the funeral director" Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:32:32 PM How do you make a Dog drink?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 04:35:10 PM Dunno
How do you make a cat bark? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:36:52 PM Dunno How do you make a cat bark? Throw it on the fire and… WOOF Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 04:37:34 PM i think the idea of this thread isnt catching on...... i put my policeman's hat on and made sure someone who shall remain nameless read THE FIRST POST IN THE THREAD before posting!!!! Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:38:19 PM How do you make a Dog drink? doesnt involve a blender does it? urghTitle: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Phil on October 11, 2005, 04:38:58 PM Three pieces of string go into a bar. The first one goes up to the bar and says "three pints of beer please." The barman looks him up and down and says, "I'm not serving you, you're a piece of string."
So the first piece of string walks over to his mates and explains the siuation. The 2nd piece of string is having none of it though and decide to try for himself and wanders up to the bar. "Three pints of beer please mate." The barman looks him up and down and says "I've told your friend and I'll tell you, I'm not serving a piece of string." The 2nd piece of string returns to his mates and explains what has happened. But the 3rd piece of string tell them that he'll have a go. He goes off to the bathroom to get him self ready. He ties him self in a knot and ruffles up his hair then walks up to the bar. "Three pints of beer please." The barman looks him up and down and says "Are you a piece of string?" to which he replies "No, I'm a frayed knot." Boom boom. Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:39:24 PM i think the idea of this thread isnt catching on...... i put my policeman's hat on and made sure someone who shall remain nameless read THE FIRST POST IN THE THREAD before posting!!!! give me a break guys! Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:40:14 PM How do you make a Dog drink? doesnt involve a blender does it? urghHow do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender. Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: TightEnd on October 11, 2005, 04:40:38 PM Phil.....Read the first post in the thread before posting...we provide the punchline. Maybe.
Very good joke though! ;D Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:44:22 PM How do you make a Dog drink? doesnt involve a blender does it? urghHow do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender. must be me then. a woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre so... Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Phil on October 11, 2005, 04:44:41 PM Dammit.
Ok, here's one. Waht do you get if you cross a chicken and a lion? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:46:08 PM no phil, you have to complete mine before you get to post your own. hope you pay better attention tonight mate
opk carry on with Phils mine was A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gives her one. Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Phil on October 11, 2005, 04:47:31 PM I replied when you did yours, I got one of those red messages that I ignore.
I don't know your one. Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:48:44 PM a woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre so... So he gave her one.lol phils needs answering next and carry on from there Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 04:51:01 PM i think the idea of this thread isnt catching on...... i put my policeman's hat on and made sure someone who shall remain nameless read THE FIRST POST IN THE THREAD before posting!!!! give me a break guys! i know and i was starting to read them when it suddenly disappeared - start another thread with them as i still have 10 more minutes left in work!! (apologies for ruining this thread slightly again :'() Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: yt on October 11, 2005, 04:52:22 PM new thread?
by me? on jokes? er, no. I don't want to be banned! I will pm u the post! Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 04:55:10 PM new thread? by me? on jokes? er, no. I don't want to be banned! I will pm u the post! lol, from what i read of the first few they were clean ;) Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AdamM on October 11, 2005, 04:56:48 PM not the success my spelling thread was
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: matt674 on October 11, 2005, 04:59:04 PM the spelling thread that has now "morphed" into the multi language, grammar and spelling thread?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: domgoran on October 11, 2005, 06:48:20 PM 2 cows in a field, and one day one cow says to the other....." oi oi, have you heard about this thing called mad cow disease?" And the other cow replied " i dunno m8, i'm a sheep " Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: RED-DOG on October 11, 2005, 06:52:46 PM Farm yard impression
Gerroff that tractor!! Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: snoopy1239 on October 11, 2005, 07:35:32 PM Is any1 up for giving this thread another shot and see if it catches on?
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Ironside on October 11, 2005, 07:54:34 PM Is any1 up for giving this thread another shot and see if it catches on? ok i give up whats the punchline Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: AndrewT on October 11, 2005, 10:04:02 PM And then the doctor said "No, I said she had acute angina"
Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Nem on October 17, 2005, 07:51:50 PM A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following items:
1 Bar of Soap 1 Toothbrush 1 Tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 grapefruit 1 tomato 1 lettuce 1 cabbage 1 baking potato 1 kraft single 1 samosa 1 vegetable pakora 1 muesli bar 1 pie 1 frozen pizza 1 single frozen dinner The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a basket with a six pack of Stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels. as she turns he smiles at her and says, "Single, eh?" The girl smiles sheepishly and replies,"How did you guess?" He looks at her - straight in the eyes and gently says "Because you're minging" Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Nakor on October 17, 2005, 07:56:29 PM Worlds Shortest Fairy Tale. . . . .
Once upon a time a Man asks a Woman "Will you marry me?" Woman says "No" Man live's happily ever after. Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: ericstoner on October 17, 2005, 09:58:44 PM I think i've caught that BIRD FLU..................
I'm feeling really peckish... :)up Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: MPOWER on April 09, 2006, 09:31:39 AM Gene Pitneys Family have been quoted 3 days for a coffin made of Mahogony, or only 24 hours from Balsa.
Bum Bum Regards M Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Claw75 on April 09, 2006, 01:22:36 PM what do you call a French man in sandals?
where does Kylie buy her kebabs? Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Colchester Kev on April 09, 2006, 02:29:13 PM Gene Pitneys Family have been quoted 3 days for a coffin made of Mahogony, or only 24 hours from Balsa. Bum Bum Regards M :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Title: Re: can we try another CLEAN joke thread Post by: Rusty on April 09, 2006, 04:15:55 PM what do you call a French man in sandals? Philipe Phlop??? "Doctor Doctor I think im a dog!" "How long have you felt like that for?" "....." |