blonde poker forum

(1) Can cows run and if so, how fast?

(2) Is it possible to ride a cow?

(3) Is it true that cows can go upstairs but not down them? What's that all about?

funny fact, Cows spelled backwards is swoc

No idea, any sheep questions?

1) I have seen a cow run. It was slow though as at the time it was chasing me and I was quicker. I was chasing my family dog, who had slipped the lead. The dog was much quicker than me

2) That's anudder story. I would imagine so

http://www.northlandjournal.com/stories23.html

Mmmooooooo must be having a laugh posting this thread...

lol Tighty running after a dog being chased by a cow :D

im sooooooooo glad i wasnt the only one pissing himself laughing at that image :D

Yeah, I was told it was quite a sight

Will no doubt be mentioned AGAIN over Xmas!

I have tears streaming from my eyes....

in my experience a cow is a type of bull. bulls can run after spaniards, americans ride bulls and 3 is daleks I think

Why was he in the field in the first place? Get some porn!

Daleks!  rotflmfao

a cow if a heifer not a type of bull!!

but yes, cows DEFINITELY run

Slowly

but threateningly nonetheless

Hliarious thoughts

Please explain.

So, does this mean that I could ride one?

If you ask nicely...

don't see why not.  In fact, if you could get on one and chase Tighty again, it would make my day :D

As long as he pulls his pants back up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gdy8FpcFxLo

Well, by "threateningly" I mean that whilst one might think that the sighty of various udders swinging wildly through the long grass as breath is expelled through the huge nostrils of the cow would be faintly amusing it is not for three key reasons

a) Most fields are not flat and so you risk going arse over breast onto the ground onto either dried or loose cow pat most likely

b) Although only one cow was chasing me I was a bit afraid by a herd mentality..I could out-run one cow, no doubt quite aged if the droopiness of her below parts are to be judged, but what happened if the herd took umbrage at the clear distrss of their compatriot?

c) The dog, a puppy at the time, was displaying a worrying spirit that in fact led her to double back towards said herd

It really wasn't a very pleasant experience at all

It was resolved when farmer retrieved dog and I tiptoed through dungy areas to get her, whilst farmers wife penned the dangerous cows into a proximate area

Did anyone else spot Tighty molesting one of the horses in that vid?

They were wearing Hoodies ?

No, but they WERE dangerous.

FYP

Okay, so no Hoodies, were they armed ?

No but they looked really tough

Unless you have been up close and personal with a cow expelling air through its nostrils, you just cannot possibly imagine it

You know, I cannot possibly imagine a situation that would lead me to be in such a predicament.

However, I still proclaim you to be a big girl for being scared by a Cow.

No, I was merely looking out for my puppy

LMAO@dangerous cows!

They are one of the few animals that you will find are as soft as they are large...

You big wimp!

and yes, I have been up close with a herd of them, for many mornings, for many months.

 ::)

When you ran, were you basing your decision on feel - or were you considering the +EV move based on the maths?

if that's how you wish to think of Kev, don't let us stop you  :)up ;whistle;

it all begs the question- is it worse to be scared of a cow or a fox?

oh nearly forgot.... they CAN 'run' and quite fast.

they can go down steps, not too sure about stairs as such lol.

it doesn't beg that question at all?!?!?

p.s fox!

far worse to be scared of a cow IMO....

If they can't do stairs, they'd be no good at remooovals then...

;marks;

agreed

and much worse to be scared of a spider... ;)

I'm just puzzled as to why snoops is pondering as to how to get a cow down from upstairs, and is it possible to ride one

each to their own and all that....

 ;tightend;

he would beef about it though

Harmony has just got back after work and shares your "Cow Concern" my chum.

It seems she was chased by an enraged Bovine once, uphill no less and was most concerned at the chasing Cow's attentive cohorts and whether they would join in the proceedings.

Again, I think you are both soft.

A Group of 12 or more cows is also known as a "FLINK" of cows

Oh, I thought this was going to be about that horrible sick book, how disappointing.

Cows can definitely run, don't they stampede? I got chased out of a field I was picnicking in by cows once. They look ok from a distance but then they come up close and there are dozens of them, they're much bigger and way more solid than you thought they'd be, and they really want to eat the grass you're sitting on. Best avoided, imo. Or served in slices, medium rare, with bearnaise.

See!!!!


See!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


evil animals, possessed by the devil

Far prefer sheep.

Yep,  soft and cuddly, as you well know!

A flink of cows.
A herd of cows.
A panic of Tighties.

Not panic, just mild concern for a puppy.

Well, that sounds like another story...

"Evil" bovines - agreed.

 :goodpost:  danafish!

What a load of Bullocks.

I think you've all milked this thread for what it's worth.

Nope, pretty sure we could carry on until the Cows come home...

I think I'd be more scared of a cow. I fear any animal that is big enough to rape me. I think I could fight off a randy fox.

Why should a cow rape you? Dude, I worry sometimes. Are you not afraid of the biteyness of the fox? They eat cats.

I wouldn't like the biting, but I don't think they'd be able to overpower me and have their way with me like a large animal could do. I saw a film once where some guy was raped by an ostrich, it was all rather scary.

Tell the story you told Jen, Red-Dog and me about the giraffe...

 :o :o :o

The only way you could be raped by something that has no opposable thumbs is if someone were to hold you down. You shouldn't hang around with people like that.

that is excellent advice and it doesn't just apply to snoops. all members of blonde should listen to what dana is saying here.

I think Hampstead Heath has a lot to answer for!  ;whistle;

you do know that cows are female and bulls are male so i wouldnt be scared of a cow rapeing you


cows are only dangerous if you get behind one and it kicks you as any dairyman a cow kick hurts just preay it doesnt kick your head

keep infront of the cow and you have nothing to fear but fear itself

Unless it's armed.

Snoopy decides to make an effort to get on the right side of his enemy by wearing his xmas pressie from Dana

only trouble is ... this fker aint fooled for a second !!!

Cows are generally more dangerous than bulls because of that attitude, ie they're just as physically dangerous, but people don't worry about them. A farmers wife from my folk's home town was nearly killed by one after she got between it & its calf. The cow knocked her down and tried to crush her against the ground. The farmer saved her, but she lost a lung due to the damage caused. He's now retired & sold the farm.

Cows (and horses) have trouble going downstairs because being prey animals, their eyes are positioned in such a way as to give all round vision, The one drawback is that they can't see directly in front of their feet. Usually, this is not a problem because when they are moving forward they sort of check out the terrain a few yards ahead and retain an image of the layout.

Steps and stairs cause a problem because they can't manage to get that all important first image.

Horses will happily go down steps/stairs on command IF they trust the person who is asking to do so, the one danger is that they are always prone to jumping down instead of walking, that way, they don't have to balance at a difficult angle with their heads several feet below their hindquarters.


BTW- When we were young my brother Tracy and I used to ride cows all the time, mostly without the cows permission. Cows buck in the opposite direction to horses. When a horse bucks it throws you toward it's back end, but a cow throws you on to its horns.

See!!!

See!!!!!!

I don't know if I'm an advertisers dream but I think I an prone to subliminal advertising.

Since Tighty changed his picture I have been out and bought a pack of cream crackers....eating them now with butter and a cup of tea.

about to change it again then

Just as well I'm not allowed to post porn then.

Nothing choclatey - I am chocolated out this christmas.

Cows have to give their permission? In writing, like?

Possibly the only Cow that would cause some concern -

(http://www.bain.uklinux.net/Baincow.jpg)

And maybe the only Cow Snoopy would be happy to meet -

(http://www.bain.uklinux.net/snoopcow.jpg)

Cows are great creatures and become as dosile as houselhold pet with the right attention ;)

But im with tighty and dewi, i prefer sheep too  ;kev;

I'm with Tighty, cows are total mentalists!!!

Me & the Mrs were chased by a herd of them whilst taking a short cut through a field, I couldn't believe how fast they were & the noise of their hooves stampeding was frightening.

I suppose thats what I get for trying to talk the wife into a bit of al fresco on a hot summers day  ;ashamed;

Yes!!!!

I knew it!!!

they sure do go mental in the slaughterhouse if you shoot them incorrectly    ;scarymoment;

Maybe Tighty, "El Bicepo" and Harmony should spend a day slaughtering them Cows and get some sort of cathartic release...