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I am in debate with the Mrs as i think the kids should do chores around the house to earn there pocket money,at at the mo it only applies to the eldest who is 13,as the other don't get pocket money regularly but get what they want.She gets £25 a month credit on phone £10 a week for school money and supposedly £5 a week pocket money but does go to the cinema quite a bit which i know cost more than a fiver? which rounded off would average about £100 per month and all she does is keep her room tidy (well the Mrs does it) so whats your take on this??

btw we have a dishwasher

when I was around that age I got £5 a week (probably equivalent to £12-13 a week now?).  For that I had to sort out dinner for me and my brother every night (our parents worked), and tidy the kitchen up afterwards.  My brother had to make sure the sitting room was tidy every evening.  Any day we didn't do our chores was a quid knocked off the week's money.  I also had the option of earning an extra £5 a week by doing the families ironing, and my brother had the option of washing the car. 

I complained at the time of course as friends were getting £10+ per week for doing bugger all, but I do believe kids, once they reach a certain age, should be taught that money doesn't come from thin air and should be earned.  My daughter doesn't get pocket money yet - I just buy her treats when she is good, but once she's a little older she will have jobs to do to earn her pocket money.

£100 a month at 13 ??

Have a word mate...

£25 a month credit ... knock that down to a tenner.
Cinema once a month if she does chores ( rubbish out, clean bedroom, clearing table after dinner etc.)
£5 a week pocket money if above is done satisfactorily.

Max outlay per month about £40.

No need to thank me, its been a pleasure.

Regards

E. Scrooge.

make them earn it

Ours get €15 each per week spending and €10 per month in phone credit.  But you can be darn sure they do more than just keeping their rooms tidy.  If they don't help out, they don't get.  End of. 

They bring in the firing, dust, hoover, sweep, tidy, the odd bit of cooking.  Whatever needs to be done, is done as a team.  At the end of the day, they helped make the messes, so no reason why they can't help tidy it up.   

Help them understand WHY they should keep their rooms tidy and do housework.  lol...... I dont like the idea of paying kids to do something they should be doing anyway as part of their 'training' to become a reliable and responsible people. God, if I told my mother I wasnt going to do it unless I got paid, I wouldnt be living right now.....  Also, it trains kids to the ways of capitalism and the whole 'money talks' message. All that said, I dont have a clue what I'd do if it were me?

Kick her out  ;whistle;

Must agree, thats part of the problem with kids these days, they get to much given to them for doin naff all...

Ex. I helped my ex's Nephew last night use the internet to get him car insurance as nobody in his family could do it, ends up managing to get this 21yr old fully comp insurance for 1892.10 total, pay the whole lot up front. Again no problem, he has then money been saving, but has no CC to pay it, so he sais he will give me the money, i do it, give him a life back home, and he gives me the money... £1892.00..  ;frustrated;

The little sh*t diddles me out of 10p and i gave up 2 1/2 hrs of my Friday night to help him.. I don't mind the 10p or the time spent, but its the fact that it would not have crossed his mind what i had given up to help him.. (Probably saved me from donking off on poker so lost less than a normal friday.)

Tbh i could not be bothered to try and teach him some kind of lesson in what had happened, because my little lesson would have gone in 1 ear and out the other, its  up to the parents.

In answer to your question, 1: its to much  2: yes they should do chores / something for the pocket money

bah humbug................he's your family. Don't you do family favours round your neck of the woods? lol

I dont really see your point, are you annoyed that he didn't pay you extra for your time? are you annoyed that you spent 2 hours on the kid and he rolled you for 10 pence?  did he not seem appreciative of your efforts? One of the problems kids have at that kind of age is that they sometimes have trouble conveying their feelings, so its possible that he was very thankful but didn't let you know in the best way?

I don't really get your point either Jizzem.  I wouldn't expect anything more than a 'thanks' or 'cheers, I owe you one'.  If he didn't say thank you, then I too would be peeved!

me thinks the AK47  could be coming out to retrieve your 10p

Don't give your kids the easy road, it doesn't make them appreciate work or study.

Get them on a rota, establish the idea they are "working for money" and pay them what you'd pay them if they were on a minimum wage job to give some incentives to study hard. ( and explain it that way imo ).

When we were kids we did as much to help as we could. the whole family pitched in and worked together. It was expected, and it was necessary. (how else would we learn anything?) My kids did the same.

Payment wasn't part of the equation. Yes, I got pocket money (sometimes) as a child, so did my kids, but it wasn't seen as payment for doing work or chores.

I'm with Red on this. Pocket money is pocket money..don't need to pay them to do chores..they do chores because they are part of the family and everybody has to pitch in.

100£ a month is ridiculous though..that would come right down..

I should expand on how it's done here.  They WILL pitch in.  If they do it without a fight, they get the pocket money.  If they argue, they're still helping out, but no money at the end of it.  When they say, 'But MOM!!!  I wanted to go to the shop.'  I say, 'Yeah, and I wanted help around the house without a fight.  Guess neither of us got what we wanted...but at least the jobs are done and we can relax now.' 

a discussion we had t'other day............pretty appropriate


 
DEWI:  Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
COLCH KEV: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine,
                ay Colonel?
BOODER:  You're right there seat 5
FLUSHY:      Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin'
                here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?
DEWI: Aye.  In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup
    o' tea.
COLCH KEV: A cup ' COLD tea.
FLUSHY: Without milk or sugar.
BOODER: OR tea!
DEWI: In a filthy, cracked cup.
FLUSHY: We never used to have a cup.  We used to have to drink out of a
    rolled up newspaper.
COLCH KEV: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
BOODER: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
DEWI: Aye.  BECAUSE we were poor.  My old Dad used to say to me, "Money
    doesn't buy you happiness."
FLUSHY: 'E was right.  I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'.  We used to
    live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
COLCH KEV: House?  You were lucky to have a HOUSE!  We used to live in one
    room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture.  Half the
    floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for
    fear of FALLING!
BOODER: You were lucky to have a ROOM!  *We* used to have to live in a
    corridor!
DEWI: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor!  Woulda' been a
    palace to us.  We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish
    tip.  We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting
    fish dumped all over us!  House!?  Hmph.
FLUSHY: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered
    by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.
COLCH KEV: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and
    live in a lake!
BOODER: You were lucky to have a LAKE!  There were a hundred and sixty
    of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
DEWI: Cardboard box?
BOODER: Aye.
DEWI: You were lucky.  We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in
    a septic tank.  We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the
    morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down
    mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out.  When we got home,
    out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
COLCH KEV: Luxury.  We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in
    the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to
    work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad
    would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we
    were LUCKY!
BOODER: Well we had it tough.  We used to have to get up out of the shoebox
    at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues.
    We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four
    hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we
    got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
FLUSHY: Right.  I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night,
    half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump
    of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill
    owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home,
    our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves
    singing "Hallelujahaments"
DEWI: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't
    believe ya'.
ALL: Nope, nope..


disclaimer.....this conversation never really took place between us.
thank you to monty python for their genius

So wrong as if Dewi would drink wine - huh
And not even a python sketch.

Not to your usual standard Booder, please try harder.

My kids are rewarded for being good, for being respectful and for doing well at school.
I don't think kids should "work" i think kids should be kids, they can look after me when i'm old and infirm.

Excellent replies coming through gonna show the wife soon me thinks, things might might change things....

If I were you, i really wouldn't show your wife the thread.  You know her best of course, but it might not go down too well if it looks like you've been airing your disagreements on a public forum and basically intend to show her the views of people she doesn't know to back up your argument.  I'd probably just say 'i've been doing a bit of research on the internet, and it seems most people with teenage kids expect them to help round the house', or something.

Im rubbish at telling a story, i need to have red dog lessons for sure.. I forgot to mention the point that realiy peeved me off was there was no thank you or owe you 1, that was the point to the story, i just left it out..  ;ashamed;

Erm...when we had the Chezger game at Christmas, Dewi drank 3 bottles of red wine on his own...

apologies........i was under the impression messrs Gilliam,Palin,Chapman and Idle were members of aforementioned group of performers.

Idle and Palin were in At last the 1948 show?
Come on its the best writing credit Tim Brooke Taylor has.

As for the kids make them work for it - getting something for nothing teaches you little, its good to learn that positive action equals reward no matter how fortunate the surroundings of youth.

I am with nakor...I thought of having my future kids make sneakers to earn their pocket money but them damned Asian kids keep undercutting me :(

Your right not worth a rolliking yet will wait til i get more response then shower them down on her

 If you even hint that you've made this post she will have your nuts in a vice..it's the way of the woman. Pretend all the arguements are your own..never tell her you posted it on your poker forum :)

Kids are Kids, and the greatest thing  that can happen to someone. Give them what they want.(within reason) £100 pm is not excessive imo. U only have one life. TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON MONEY. Making them earn it doesnt get you respect. You get that from them in other ways.

OMG...if you insist on showing her the posts, I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall during the errrrrrrm...chat.   rotflmfao

Do yourself a favour and follow their advice.  Pretend you've thought this out all on your own.  Otherwise, you'll be back here relaying the tale of your own undoing.   

your post contradicts itsself in soo many ways. "Too much emphasis on money"..so you give kids 100£ a month..does that teach them that money isn't everything? "Give them what they want" "making them earn it doesn't get you respect"?


This thread is not about getting respect from your kids..You're right, if you can't get that another way money (or withholding it) isn't going to help.
What it is about is giving them some semblance of what the real world is like and it sure as hell isn't a free for all where everyone does feck all and gets loads of free money. 100£ a month in spending money is WAY too much for a 13 YO..I would almost argue that it's a perverted to give a 13 YO that much. And the kid also does nothing in the house?
Before you know it you will be on some shitty reality TV show asking why your kids are soo out of control.

Why should children have to earn money? As a parent it is my responsibilty to provide for what my daughter wants (within reason) And if that £5 per month or £200 per month. Who decides what the right figure should be? I want my daughter to have the best I can give her. Theres nothing wrong with that surely? So if CIA's missus feels the same then what is she doing wrong?

I will tell you why, give a 13 year old girl 100 quid a month for doing naff all ... she already expects it , now when she reaches 14, 15 years old what incentive does she have to get a saturday job or a paper round etc etc .. NONE, she can get 100 quid a month for just doing nothing why would she want to get out of bed and actually go and work for it .. where do kids learn a work ethic from ? 

ANd why should they be forced to go out and earn before they are 16? When you stick in and wiggle it about you know that if you produce a child then you are responsible for them until they become adults. Since when did that responsibilty stop when they are 14? Don't see what's wrong with 'funding' them within reason. My daughter has just turned 10. She understands the concept of where & how money comes from. If i say i'm skint, then thats the end of it, if i can afford to buy her something that she wants, she is grateful. What's wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with that, you have stated that she understands the concept of where and how money comes from ... thats the important thing IMO.

there is no right and perfect way to bring up kids, everyone has different opinions, all we as parents can do is raise our kids to the best of our ability and prepare them for their futures ... IMO one of the most important things to pass on is the fact that no one gives money away for nothing, you want money you have to earn it.

Earn it from 13?

Not earn it in the sense where she has to put in shifts down a bloody coal mine. but yes I personally think 13 is plenty old enough to start learning that life isnt a freeroll.

your forgetting about inflation m8 when she is 14 it'll have to go up an so on ,this is the kid who got rewarded for stealing and lying bout the fags!!!

Sounds like the british criminal justice system


 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao

money isn't the issue here as me and the wife are both in well paid jobs maybe thats part of the problem too,its easy for the wife to shell out all the time, and just a small development she now has her own bank card so she can be responsible for her money??? and what happens when the youngest reaches that age does she get £100 pm as well?? oh and also the family allowance doesn't go into the household funds it goes into the girls savings accounts for when they are 18 or 21

here here well said m8

Only cihild Celtic ! ;hide;

Yeah, good point i suppose.

Don't think i would treat the future ones different tho. Kev summed it up well, we all bring them up different and try and be the best parent etc...

When i was 13 i done a paper round then at 15 i done a paper round milk round went golf caddying during the day(kicked out of school) and at night i collected tv rental money and sold scratch cards was on about 50 quid a week and learnt from then the importance of earning money i even gave my mum a tenner as money was tight back then,and i beleive that now the kids get it all to easy,yes we as parents are probably to blame but i still think that they should have to do something to get it.

I say send them up the chimneys that will soon sort them out...........
Such a tricky question. Last night I had the good fortune to go to the Theatre with Mrs Snat. Her choice.
She chose "Dealers Choice"

What a stonkingly good play which if you get the chance to see I would recommend (though watch out for the language particularly the C word) and addresses what happens down the line if you give your children everything. In doing so it also opens the whole nature / nurture question. Is giving spoiling? If I make it harder to earn the money will they have an appreciation of the value.............I was thinking of something different. I thought what if I make it harder to spend. Here is your money but you can only do option a) or option b). Or what about......Here is your pocket money but you have to buy your own cosmetics...........In watching Adam and Rachel to date. Adam likes to live for now and would spend as soon as he can..........Rachel aged 9 is saving for her first car

Chores?


thats a point - where are am i going to go now if i want advice on relationships?  ;whistle;

just use MrsSilo's account  :)up

:D

Does anyone else feel like Cilla when these two are 'tooing & frowing'?      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A lorrra lorrra people

FYP

:(

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Claire

agree with celtic and the rest are talking utter ****. Nice and safe to allow your 14 year old daughter to get a paper job and £25 a week, woopty do

ok have taken the advice on board and decided not to show her this post be bals in a vice would be unlikey though as the vice is in the shed and i'm sure she wouldnt know how to use it!!

btw she intimated that she might me upping her pocket money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;frustrated;

how is it unsafe for your 14YO daughter to get a paper round?..Do you live in downtown Bagdad? Or are you a Daily Mail reader who believes Gypsies, Illegal immigrants and Peadofiles are looking to steal or rape her at the earliest opportunity?

What a load of tosh; "unsafe". show me statistics that prove that 14 YO girls with a paper route are more likely to have something horrible happen to them than a 14 YO who gets 100£ spending money. The "it's not safe" arguement in this sort of discussion is always brought up by demagogues and never by someone who can actually prove it. "Think of the children!" as Reverend Lovejoy's wife says.

This has actually been a tricky subject for me in the past and I still dont know the answer tbh.

As the oldest of 4 kids from a one parent family I had many "chores" which mostly involved looking after siblings/cooking etc while my mum was at work, I didnt get any pocket money as my mum was always skint (even tho she was also signing on and had a live in boyfriend) so as soon as I was old enough I got a paper round and earned a whole 60p a week :-) I was absolutly delighted when I got my first weeks wages and spent the whole lot in the papershop on sweets and comics for myself and the kids and bought my mum her fav choccy bar. She went absolutly mental when I arrived home with all my goodies and said if I was going to squander my money then I could afford to give her rent!! I had to give her 20p of my hard earned cash and later when I worked in a chip shop 4 nights a week she took £2.20 from my £7.20.

Now Im sure her intentions were to teach me that I had to pay my way in life but I deeply resented her robbing me of my hard earned cash.

When I was 14 I got a job in a local hotel washing dishes and earning the pricely sum of 59p an hour woohoo. My mum took her usual cut grrrr. I was soon "promoted" to waitress/chambermaid/general dogsbody and had a wage increase and did a lot more hours. I would tell my mum I was going to my mates house when I was actually working. The problem then was what do with the extra money I was not supposed to have. I didnt have a bank account or anywhere to hide it so I had to spend it. Im ashamed to say that most of the money went in fruit machines and I ended up addicted to them for many years.

When I had kids I promised myself I would never do that to them. My oldest is 19 now, he never did a paper round or any part time job while he was at school. He has never done any chores and now I worry how on earth he would ever look after himself when he eventually moves out as he doesnt know one end of a hoover from the other. He got whatever he wanted if I could afford it as a kid and if I couldnt afford it he would moan non stop till he did get it :-( When he started work I explained to him that I was having to pay extra rent/council tax and that it was only fair he should contribute, he kicked off big time and we had some horrible rows about it... so maybe my mum was right after all ...though im not totally convinced.

my granddad did a similar thing to his kids as your mom did to you Suzanne, but he put it away in a savings account for them. I though that was a great way of teaching kids the value of money.

When I had kids I promised myself I would never do that to them. My oldest is 19 now, he never did a paper round or any part time job while he was at school. He has never done any chores and now I worry how on earth he would ever look after himself when he eventually moves out as he doesnt know one end of a hoover from the other. He got whatever he wanted if I could afford it as a kid and if I couldnt afford it he would moan non stop till he did get it :-( When he started work I explained to him that I was having to pay extra rent/council tax and that it was only fair he should contribute, he kicked off big time and we had some horrible rows about it... so maybe my mum was right after all ...though im not totally convinced.

so if you had your time again would you have changed anything to prepare him for the big wide world or would you do things exactly the same?

Now thats a good idea.

Yes I think I probably would have, my younger 2 kids hardly ever ask for anything but when they do I give them little jobs to do so they can "earn" the money which they enjoy doing. Im not so sure this would have worked with my oldest as he was and still is a lazy little soandso but I do feel I have failed in teaching him respect for money, it burns a whole in his pocket and he never manages to make his wages last till the next months pay packet.

is that a female admitting that they were wrong surely not lol

You are right..im NOT LOL..im mearly saying that I should have taught him how to work the washing machine and there is still time for that but 10+ years of nagging at him to pick up his wet towel from the bathroom floor hasnt done any good so im sure it would go in one ear and out the other.

I was the same at his age..couldnt spend money fast enough and had a bloody ball and why not!!

You can only explain that saving for a rainy day is a good idea but in reality every kid has there own agenda as Snat says.

Hes a lovely lad and he knows right from wrong. Ive never had the police at my door and he doesnt do drugs which shows he has strong character as many of his friends have went down that road. Hes a major pain in the ass but I am very proud of him.

Hes a smart boy and im sure when he meets the right girl she will whip him into shape as I did with my "mummy boy" boyfriend many years ago :-)

by the sound of it you do have a good kid so you must have done something right so credit where credit is due well done..I can only speak from my upbringing and living with 3 other brothers from a low income family we were all made aware of he importance of money and where it came from,as i have said b4 i earned my money and like you squandered most of it on the slot machines but also paid what was asked and helped out where i could,i suppose coming from nothing makes me apprecate it all the more,
but just a tip for the other mums out there stop moddy coddling the boys it wont help them in the long run, do what my mum done and pin a list of what clothes went with what and on which number to set the machine taped to the machine worked a treat we also had to iron anything that wasnt in the sunday ironing pile so i am a man who can cook clean and wash/iron quite sufficiently,just a swell really could both wives have never really been the ironing kind.[/font]