blonde poker forum

Okay, Okay, it finally all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:


MENtal illness


MENstrual cramps


MENtal breakdown


MENopause


GUYnaecologist            (yes I know spelt wrong)

AND

When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.   (and yes I know again)

400 Galaxy bars for this woman and a place in Best of Blonde!

 :goodpost:

Very brave......

Surprised it took this long to surface, i did hear this one quite a while back and we all know the three quickest forms of communication are....

Telephone

Telegram

Tell-a-woman

 :cheers:       life makes so much more sense after reading your post Trace

Yes, because its the mans fault that a woman goes doo lally during every full moon.

Even more of a man made disaster - I now have an underwire incident whilst at work!

Help!

Heid
xx

Remove the other wire and pray to the God's that things don't go PING!!!  lol

Sorry Heid, I've never had this happen 'cos I won't use underwireds  lol

Go for a good Cross your Heart - nowt moves with one of them on!

 :D

This happened to me in the days when the underwires were metal.

It snapped in half and stuck in my boob, omg it was painful.

The pain we women have to go through, men have deffo got it made.

Ang

OUCH!    :'(

simple solution - dont wear a bra........:o

when was the last time you heard a man complain about an underwiring problem??

You're all too busy moaning about man flu to have the time to moan about underwiring!!

Only a man could say that, let alone think it.  :D

Ang

If I was to do the female equivalent of "commando" without a bra, there would be casualties. Anyway you save your best toys for the lucky man I reckon :)

It's not broken - although one did as I got off the buss last week - that was a pain - I was al uneven. It's popped out the side and is impaling me armpit.

I shall have to do minor suturing tonight during the tourney.

Heid
xx

We CAN'T moan when we have "manflu" - it hurts too much!! :'(

Depends what toys you have in the collection, and who you plan to use them on. Things can go from best night ever to worst nightmare depending upon the direction you point that rabbit...

Who told you about the rabbit?<g>

oooer

All this Male/Female stuff is easily summed up by the following ...


Men may have many faults
And women have just two
Everything they say
And everything they do


Now I'm off into hiding :) :)

I'd like to offer my condolences to Mr and Mrs Frey Bentos. We are sorry to hear of the loss of one of your biggest customers friends, our thoughts are with you at this most difficult time.

lol, and grrrrr at u mr kev

Of course this doesnt apply to mrs. Wolf .... who is perfect in every way :)

 :D

next person who passes through Colchester please call at Kev's house and remove the spade from his clutches :D

p.s. and pinch one of his banana pies for me ;)

I aint answering the door to no-one mate .....  And the banana pies are all gone :)

bah! humbug!

no point in entering tonights crypto tourney then, the thought of winning a banana pie as bounty for knocking you out was the only reason i was going to enter!! :'(

You going to the Xmas P4C event at Nottingham Kiv?

I've found a new use for nun chucks!!!!

You gonna put them in pies ??

Not exactly no, but meat and two veg would be involved!

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

Dress up in pvc gear and you can do what ya want with me :)

What, even throwing custard pies in your face?

you honestly think that Kev is going to turn down an offer of pies in any way shape or form?

a woman dressed in pvc throwing pies at me  ..........   what an amazing fantasy ;)

My outfit isn't made of PVC!!!   Will yellow lycra do?



(Yes Flushie I know)

kev no one can look at women the way you do

Kill Bill

NO!

KILL KIV!!!

Just make sure you buy some pvc gear for when im in blackpool ;)

LOL

Not on your nelly - I don't do PVC!!  ewwwwwwww just the thought is making me feel ill....

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's  bonnet
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
 
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?


He said . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

LMFAO  ;D

very good Matt  :goodpost:


Ang

Fantastic!

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D