blonde poker forum

My youngest has recently took part in an experiment to investigate the links between macrocephaly(large head circumference) and a cognitive processing style known as weak central coherence in autism.Weak central coherence describes a tendency to process information in terms of small details rather than the bigger picture or 'gist'This style of processing may be an advantage when analytic skills are required and can also be found in individuals without autism.

They have recently extended their research to include parents of children with autism who form the broader autism phenotype,which means they may show traits of certain aspects of autism which is to be expected given that autism has a hereditary component.One such trait is weak central coherence,which means that the parents of autistic children often have very good analytic skills.They want to see if there is a relationship between macrocephaly and weak central coherence seen in children with autism can also be seen in the biological mother and father of these same children.

They have asked me to take part in this experiment and I'll be doing the same test as they gave to my son.

Will be intersting to see the outcome of this.My appointment is next Tuesday afternoon...

Good luck!

Are you vulnerable to contagious yawning?

http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2007/09/children-with-autism-are-immune-to.html

Will you only fly with qantas?

Do you have a large head circumference?

I am bleeding yawning non stop at the mo!!


Yah think so,well have been told I'm  A BIG HEAD

just measured it and its 600mm or 60cm or in old money 2ft=(24")

:)

Here are some decent tests for faux-pas detection and social reasoning:

http://www2.psy.uq.edu.au/~stone/order.html

Performance on faux pas tests directly correlated with susceptability to contagious yawning.

I don't have a measure handy but I think mine is quite big also. We should have a blonde 'Who has the biggest bonce' challenge.

wonder if there is any bearing as to the physical size of individual as to there head size?

Good question, I'm guessing some correlation.

ps Does anyone know a quick fix for snapped rulers? The selotape is not holding.

Faux Pas test by "Stone, V.E., Baron-Cohen, S. & Knight, R.T."

Ali G/Borat wrote a Faux Pas test? :) There can't be many S Baron-Cohen's about, surely?

It's his cousin.

Measure shorter things instead.

Always wondered that. Must be some relation.

Simon Baron-Cohen on the TV a lot recently, saying that any intervention attempts must not thwart the amazing skills that develop in some autistics despite their other impairments. He reckons that in an evolutionary sense autism may in some ways be adaptive...

Anyway, I still can't get my head around this guy..

YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jVqRT_kCOLI

or measure it twice..

That guy in the Video is outstanding- I've often wondered if some Autistic people could be great poker players. As they have very analytical minds yet seem to be detached from "normal" emotions.

Yeah I was thinking that too. I guess online better than live. Tells totally lost on them, and bloody hard for them to put a player on a hand (if they have full-on autism).
If they raise, and someone reraises, they are still stuck only with the value of their own hand, there is no association between the other guy reraising and him maybe thinking his hand is good. I sometimes do this also but in my case we call this 'Alcoholism'.

Grab a pot of paint, stick a big dollop on your forehead, press your head against the wall and and then spin round with your head against the wall until your forehead reaches the wall again.  Measure the distance between the two spots of paint.

 rotflmfao rotflmfao rotflmfao ;applause; ;tightend;

:)
I knew there was a way.

I have autism, Aspergers Syndrome to be exact, and after months and months of play i can tell you that people with Autism generally will not be good poker players. It is unfair to say that everyone with Autism is like me, because it isnt true BUT there are certain traits in certain forms of Autism from the 'spectrum' which would prevent poker players from reaching the success they could potentially reach. A lot of this is from my own personal experience and if anybody can relate then fine, but if you can't, please challenge or question with sound arguments, rather than show arrgant ignorance like so many people do.

The first thing I must mention is that I do not consider having Aspergers as a disability, I see it as a gift. But having a gift doesn't translate to success in everything that you do.

There are many things that I have had obsessions with in my life. I feel sad for having them at times, because other people do not understand, but I realise that specialised interest will eventually make me successful in something. VERY successful. Things i can remember doing, I could do alphabet backwards before I did it forwards, I was able to recite the list of Kings and queens of England in the order of when they ruled, along with the years they ruled to and from. I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world - Things as an 8 year old that dont earn you any friends, just respect and amazement from teachers (which led to bullying from students).

My obsessions when reaching age of 14 was playing snooker, within 6 months of play I had hit a 50 break, while hitting 30 breaks with regular consistency. That was until some nasty tosspot broke my cue in half, leaving it unusable. I couldnt reach the same level again as I was heartbroken. So I turned to music, and playing the guitar and drums. I did that until I hit 20, then i got into darts after watching Raymond van Barneveld lose his World Crown to Jelle Klaasen. I just totally ditched 6 years of hard work learning to play different instruments, for a game played down the pub. Lo and behold, I was that obsessed that i had to try the professional circuit after 6 months of play, to satisfy my curiosity. I got fortunate enough to beat a player called Andy 'Rocky' Jenkins who was ranked #6 in the PDC world rankings at the time. Too much pressure/expectation etc led to massive downfall in what was a not very good game in the first place, and I lost all interest.

That is how I got into poker! I thought I could get good quick, and make easy money. I bought myself Harringtons books and started from there. And while his strategies were good, they are outdated. And this is the first problem with Autistic people - THE FAILURE TO ADAPT TO CHANGE FROM A SET ROUTINE. I have stopped playing poker, because it pains me to go away from a set strategy introduced to me by a very successful player. Beginning of this year I decided I would learn the 2008 way to play poker, but it changes and evolves so much that i cannot cope...I panic all the time when I play poker. Ad the slightest things really make me angry - like people min raising. I am not an angry person in anything else, but the fact people do what they shouldnt does my head in, because I am used to a certain system. I'm one of the most placid people you will meet, and I let people do a lot of shit to me I shouldn't tolerate in the first place, but in poker if you deviate from book just once I panic...thats why i have to stop playing poker.

I am totally obsessive with everything ive ever done in life, and that includes poker. I spent hundreds on books, and depositing online and playing in casinos. I was easily exploited, not just by my failure to change but the fact certain people wanted to be my friends. Im too naive and trusting to think people can do bad to me. Too many things which cost me a hell of a lot of money, people knew how to pull strings, they knew my tells and I just cannot change them no matter how hard I try. Addiction is bad enough in doing anything in life, let alone poker. You might know the feeling of tilt, but you can't understand the feeling of what I can only describe as emotional lockjaw. I just cannot release anything no matter how much i want to, and it is so frustrating, and embarassing at times too.

I started playing poker because I wanted to get in with the dart players on the circuit who played poker. I found it hard enough (and still do) to make proper friends with anyone, so thought if I can have something in common with the next guy, it may make my life easier. Instead it totally screwed up my darts, and lost me what little sanity I had from birth.

There are several things which makes poker hard for me, and the main points are the ones noted above. Online poker doesnt erase my inability to let go obsession and one track mindedness.



I hope some of this made sense to somebody, and you all dont think Im some nutter. Mind you, I have to be a nutter to want to become an International Master in chess one day. At least I can channel my obsession in a problemsolving excercise which doesnt cost the earth like poker has done me.

Sorry for the rambling...I just feel passionately about the subject. About this study that has been proposed, i think its total bull. How can the size of your head have anything to do with certain patterns? Sounds like the playground crap of 'if your heads smaller than your hand then you have cancer" or other similar stuff.

nice post fuglybaz

the more i look into A.S the more i am convinced that my son has it,

I'll be asking a few questions tonight as i have really been thrown into this without any knowledge of what it really is about,but there have been numerous times when i have thought if i am on the spectrum,

What a super post FuglyBaz - and a great insight into something I knew nothing about.

What does strike me is that a lot of people without Aspergers have got many of the traits (if that is the right description of them) that you have, but not quite to the same extremes.

I doubt many people have such a clear understanding of their own make-up as you seem to.

fugly

1) have you given up chess as well? been waiting 4 days for you to move in our game

2) did you look into playing limit poker? I think that would suit you

Hi gatso, havent given up playing chess....ive been studying because I played a tournament the weekend (finished with 1 win 2 draws and 3 losses) and have league games to focus on. Ill make a move in our game though :) I have another account which im using now, as my grade on old one is shite :D

Limit poker wont suit me I don't think. Certainly not at the lowest limits where 7 or 8 players regularly call 4 bets. To be honest poker is a poison to me. I'm glad i dont feel the urge to play it any more. I still stick around here because its interesting to see how people are getting on with stuff.

Cheers Jakally.

I see a lot of people who demonstrate certain traits, but I think the key difference is the eccentricity levels in different people. Its a bloody tough subject to tackle, and I think that autism needs a lot more research to be carried out. there is so much ignorance to the subject. My dad doesnt understand it, nor does he want to, and this is my own dad! Older people especially do not understand it, they just think people are arseholes! It isnt like that at all.

I think the peaks are higher and the valleys are lower for people with Autism, much in the same way as they would be for people with Bipolar disorders, whereas 'normal' people tend to have more of a linear way of life, they are a little happier than normal or a little more depressed, but never one extreme or the other.

There are days where I still dont understand myself, and while I am happy to have this gift, it doesnt please anybody else around me unless they are interested in chess. My dad keeps telling me to go out and find random women to sleep with, but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen. Its horrible to know that people can demonstrate such ignorance. I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about. Chess is a language that is understood by all who play, even if they cannot understand language that is spoken, it is my way of communication.

One of the things that sucks really, is going out some place and all i think about is chess openings, and thinking over old games ive played in my head, while my few friends are out seeing women, getting trashed, going to parties and other things i cannot do. At least if I do eventually get a gf in chess, at least she will be smart. Sorry for going off a tangent, I am just typing what im feeling.....the thread isnt about me o apologise for droning on

You carry on fuglybaz

it is good to actually hear somone with  AS give their views on stuff.

i have got  a few questions for you,

 would you prefer on thread or by pm?

What I would say to one i would say to all, so you can ask here if you like mate. :)

really good posts fuglybaz

im one of the parents on blonde with an autistic child and it was interesting to read the way you feel about certain things as im sure my 11 year old son feels the same.

ive never spoken to an adult with autism so it was interesting from that point too.

best of luck with the chess(my son has just started learning at school and loves it)

If you ever want to bore someone with your thoughts on a chess opening variation or anything like that, go ahead and give me a shout.  I can bore you back!

Is that chess thread still running...?

The last post reads, RIP thread lol.....

 ;hattip; & :respect: to you Baz - those were fantastic posts & I only wish I had the courage to write completely honestly like that.

Have you ever read The Speed of Dark by Elisabeth Moon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Speed_of_Dark)? I recommended it to a couple of friends with Autistc/Aspergers kids & they felt it gave them a bit more insight - despite it being fiction - the author's son is autistic.

I'd love to know your views on it.

+1, great read, keep them coming please. Actually, you write really well.

You talk about not hanging around at parties and the like, what would you say is the main obstacle to this? Hope you don't mind these questions.

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

Thats the beauty of the internet sometimes, although in my case I'm fairly open with most people who ask me anything.

I've never really read any books on Autism to be honest. I've always felt that i coped fairly well in certain situations where other people struggle. Such as in employment for example. Well...up until last year anyway, untill I was unfairly dismissed (settled out of court).

A book that was recommended to me was called "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. It says in there that geniuses like Einstein had autistic tendencies themselves, and it apparently reveals an interesting fact - Einstein never knew how to tie his shoe laces, up until the day that he died. And it is interesting, because while we can do these sometimes overly complex things in our life, we cannot comprehend something so simple as tying up shoe laces. I couldn't tie my laces till I was 8 funnily enough, but that was through laziness more than anything, but when i had to learn it took me a month, and I used a cardboard cut out of a shoe with laces on, to practise. My mom still reminds me of when I was in tears when I finally learned how to do it.

Another concept I failed to understand as a small child was the concept of silent reading. It sounds stupid, but I could not read without talking! I was always taught to read and talk so i could get my words out, then all of a sudden was told to not speak. I couldnt adjust.

I'll digress anyway...I should read that book. Ill look up Amazon and see if I can get a cheap copy :)

I dont mind the questions at all. If I feel uncomfortable at any point I'll say so :)

I really dont know what my biggest obstacle is. I could only list certain things that cause me emotional anxiety. If you had me at gunpoint and I had to say one, I would say my inability to keep constant eye contact. I know socially it is seen as a real bad thing to not make eye contact with someone, but it is painful for me to do so! I have to look at peoples foreheads in interviews and stuff....I cannot describe it. I also struggle to make conversation with people. I realise this is a problem for people with low self esteem anyway, but I have this fear of rejection or of boring people. I cant tell peoples emotions very well, and the worst thing (which has happened before) is to think Ive had a good conversation with someone, for them to then turn around and say what a boring ****. All because Ive gone on and on about something they have no interest in.

I also struggle with girls, which is the main reason I dont go out. It never used to be a problem when i was doing the music stuff, but I had a girlfriend so intended to be loyal despite some offers from some stunners. After a gig people wanted to talk about music so it was great for me because I could go on and on and on and people would listen. Everybody always had nice compliments for my playing, and more for the size of my kit. Im not an egomaniac by any means, but it was nice to feel normal, and the nice comments were welcomed.

Obviously, with other obsessions Ive had like darts, poker and now chess (which i hope will now be a life long one!) it is very much an individual thing where people arent so willing to talk to you. The only time people talked to me at darts was to criticise me for trying to play the pro circuit too soon.

To quote Oscar Wilde "Where nature leads you, you must go" - people didnt appreciate I was just doing what i felt I had to do. There is a survival instinct in darts and poker as well, every man for themselves. Very secretive in the way of talking about certain things. That always made things harder for me.

I seem to keep going on and on, sorry if this annoys anyone.

So you are not like the other things that have been mentioned? There is far more to it than just obsession/single mindedness, it is a psychological condition and is actually classed as a learning difficulty, god knows why though?!?

Your comment on paying for pills is a little unfair though mate. I dont have to take any medication for what I have, nor does any other sufferer of AS or Semantic Pragmatic Disorder that I've come across.

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

That shirt though... ;dingdell;

Obv something questionable if you take the shirt into consideration - good point Kin - I withdraw my last post of support.

That wasn't specifically aimed at Aspergers - it's more a general 'you're not full of beans you must be ill have some happy pills' tendency within some who concern themselves with medicine.

Having had a look through the Wikipedia article on AS, I do have some of the other characteristics (poor sleep, physical awkwardness, good visual perception, difficulty in identifying emotions) but fail at not being able to understand nonliteral language or irony or humor.

However, as AS can't be medically diagnosed for certain, and you don't need to tick all the boxes, that might be enough to qualify. If I were to go to a doctor and say 'I think I have Aspergers' he might decide I was right, even though I'd be lying.

Yes, but I don't really communicate with you do I?

I just sit there and listen...

Ouch.  ;noflopshomer;

I nod as well. There's lots of nodding.

have you seen this article? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3766697.stm

speculation on quite a few big names of the past and err, Lisa Simpson

...and frowning.

Only just read this thread, have to say that I have really enjoyed your posts Mr. Fugly Baz.

Have you ever read Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtze (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Wurtzel)l?

It gives quite a good insight into the problems of, 'getting a bit sad sometimes', but it also covers a bit about just getting people to pay money for pills (not just to make money - it can also be a bit of a quick fix)

right i have had the test lovely young woman 23ish quite fit and she paid me £5 for my time what a result,

There were all different types of test all visual,basically I had to put the right shape into the right box sort of which 1 goes next in a series of shapes/patterns i think i managed most of those ok
,then it was to indentify letters that were disguised in a grid that changed very quickly, i was ok on small letters but the big 1's in the grid i didnt get any of those just didnt see them??I had to hit the numbers on the keyboard of the laptop as quickly as i could
then i had to hit  a key if a letter only had straight lines and a different key if it had a curve in it i:e WFTHN etc all have straight lines SDCG etc have curves on them (am sure they were all capitals)
then it was which shape  did i see last,   a cross or triangle and hit the relevant key

my eyes were well blurry for  a min afterwards as well

After that she measured my head circumference 60cm

And that was it,i asked if i could get the results but they wont be available until the study is complete prob about 12/18 months time

But basically the study is to find out if there is a link or not, as there has never been a study of this apparently.

So am I autistic dunno, I certainly think i have some traits but then i'm sure most people could find some traits in themselves as well.

fuglybaz ill get back to you later with my questions m8 nothing too heavy.

,but seriously great reading yr views m8 keep em coming  :)up

Really appreciating your posts Fugly, as a parent of 2 autistic kids I worry all the time how they will cope when they are adults and I have been carted off this mortal earth.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are and if you still live with your parents? If not what parts of day to day living do you find the most difficult to cope with?

At what age were you diagnosed (or werent you) and how did you feel when it was explained to you that you are "special". I ask because I am being pushed into explaining to my kids that they are different and although I think it might help my son I think my daughter will be very upset, she thought she was "normal" until she started her new school last month which is full of "geeks and freaks" as she put it but she has settled in nicely. I am leaving it to the experts where she is concerned.

I worry more for my son who is in mainstream school. He finds it very hard to cope with the noise mostly and making friends. He gets extremely upset when he gets beat at any games online and HAS to be the best at anything he does, a bit like yourself maybe?

I have loads of questions I want to ask.

 Fuglybaz, if you don't feel comfortable answering these then no worries,my reasons for asking are that my son is borderline A.S and is going through it at school at the moment.

 How did you cope with the bullying at school?
 How long did it go on for?
What do you think caused it?
Was there any complications apart from the bullying you incurred whilst you were at school i;e not paying attention and missing info especially if homework was given out.
How was you at sport?
What changes would you make looking back on your educational years
What advice would you give to someone with A.S to get through the school years?
Do you have  a large circle of friends?
Do you feel uncomfortable looking into peoples eyes when yr talking to them?
When did you have your 1st proper relationship with a girl?
Would you say you would be more comfortable in  a relationship with a girl with A.S

Hi Suzanne, I'm 23 and still live with my parents. It's cheaper that way, and the only place of my own i can get is a council flat in a block full of smackheads. I'm happier with the company of my family for now (even if I am sat in my bedroom all the time like now)

There are still aspects of day to day living even at home that are difficult. I find travel difficult. Its not too bad if trains are on time and not too cramped, but I hate cramped spaces, and lateness. I'm not as bad as I used to be but I still get slightly agitated, but say to myself being agitated cannot get the train here faster. But before that, I would panic and everything. If you have ever heard a song called Cardiac Arrest by Madness, that was probably me three years ago. Now, I would be the same guy, but Id've taken the docs advice :P

I was diagnosed at the age of 5. Now it was real complicated what happened so Ill try to keep it simple as i can. I was a very happy baby, my mom and dad said I never once cried in my first two years. Always giggling and playful. Same when i got to the age of three, but I still hadn't spoken my first word yet. They took me to the doctors as they thought I may be deaf. My first memory I ever have from that age, was going to a specialised hearing xclinic, where they put these massive headphones on me, with a machine which produced a buzzing noise that was constant. While that was switched on, they had different shaped items which they banged on a metal tray to test that i could hear them. It was confirmed I wasnt deaf. Eventually I spoke my first words, however I couldnt pronounce anything correctly. Another barrage of tests ensued and I was told quite simply I had a speech impediment. Then some research was done and later it was confirmed to my parents that I had a condition known as Semantic Pragmatic Disorder. Very similar to Aspergers, but some subtle differences.

The worst part about all of this, my parents left me to go to school, be statemented so i could get help from Special needs and I never knew why because they wouldnt tell me! I was given extra time to cplete exams, and never knew anything as to why either. I only found out last year about all of this, and this was when i was sacked from my job. I went to a psychologist and explained everything after i'd looked into Semantics and Aspergers, and he said I do actually aspergers not SPD. Aspergers was unknown of back in 1989 and I fitted closest to SPD. In fact, when you are that age it is hard to tell any difference anyway.

I felt kind of relieved when i finally knew. What made want to find out, was because I had problems with my girlfriend (now my ex thank god). She screwed me up so bad mentally that I ended having three months off work for stress and depression. When i finally returned to work, everything in the office had changed - the working practise, what I had to say to customers, more log sheets to fill in, sales targets put on our heads and everything. And I got really really angry by this and i couldnt work out why. Every night after work I used to cry to myself thinking how on earth can i be like this and why. Im not being like this to be forceful or nasty, I just cant cope. I then told the parents, and said I was going to get help. thats when they hit me with it! I was put on disciplinary at work for my illness because I was on and off as I couldnt cope with the work. As soon as i was told I had AS, I told work that the problem is my distress at change, and if they give me enough time then I can get help to get through it. They chose the easy option and went through disciplinary stages as fast as they could!

I felt betrayed, and wished I'd known when I was a hell of a lot younger that I was different. School was so tough it was untrue. I started off at a special school called Glenmead, which had a Speech Therapy unit where I was at for two years. Everybody else had either behaviour problems, downs syndrome or other difficulties, with our common link being speech problems. After two years i was pretty much cured and asked to leave as my work was done. I joined year 2 with three weeks left to end of school year. Went into class and i still remember my first ever maths test, because I completed it 15 minutes faster than anybody else and got all the answers right with it. And the looks I got from everyone were not pleasant. I was never asked to play football with any of the other kids, when I did ask to play I never got a touch of the ball, I didnt speak to anybody. Primary school was much of the same thing, I was one of the brightest pupils but had no friends because nobody wanted to know me. There were a group of books produced by a company called GINN, levellled from 1-16. I remember in year 6, everybody was reading level 8 books, while I was reading level 13 and level 14. Sometimes i wished I was just one of them, I felt so isolated. I had a couple of friends, but they were the ones with above average intelligence.

The noise in school was always a problem for me too. I dont mind 'common' noise, but its when an unusual sound is very loud it is very distressful. I hate it when people shout, and even things like an untuned guitar can be very unpleasant to my ears, to an extent of being almost painful.

I dont have kids and never want any because I struggle looking after myself that i couldnt raise a kid, plus there is the issue of no woman wanting to know me but thats another issue best reserved for plastic surgeons people who can do personality transplants.  So I cant really advise on your son goig to mainstream school. All I can say is that despite all my problems, I am glad I went to a mainstream school because at least I was around 'normal' people. If I was at a a special school until age of 16 then I would not be what i am now. I certainly would get the same results, but I wouldnt have an understanding of the dos and donts in society. Going from special school to normal school at the age of 7 was tough, because normal kidsare so different. You have to communicate with them in different ways to 'normal' people and I hadnt learned how to change at that time. So can you imagine if I had to do the change at 16 rather than 7?? My life would be a nightmare.

ive touched on making friends already, but what i will say is thank god for the internet. It gives me a chance to develop friendships I never could before, and I can virtually do what I want online that i could in the real world. Some of the friends I have in person started off as online friendships...this wouldnt happen without the internet. As for losing and winning, I always want to win at any cost (except cheating/bad gamesmanship). If I lose, I dont mind losing to better players as long as I didnt make any unforced mistakes. But if I make mistakes or play below my best, that is where the problems start for me. I remember an instance on the Pro darts circuit, where I'd beaten somebody 4-0 in first round, and was so pissed off at myself for playing like a mug, that I had forgotten I'd won. I'm a perfectionist, and while I know nobody can be 100%, I want to be as close to that as I possibly can be.

Sorry for the waffle lol, any more questions please fire them to me, I dont mind :)

Great posts FB - I'm know I'm not the only one who enjoys reading them.

That was a very enlightening post Fugly - it's always interesting to learn about other people's backgrounds on here.

This bit brought back memories for me.


Exactly the same thing happened when I was young - my mum thought there must be something wrong with my hearing because I didn't respond fully to what people said so I had the hearing test at the doctor's.


The noise that gets to me is the type you get in busy pubs with a hundred conversations going on at once. In a big room, with bare walls, this sound bounces all around the room and makes it very difficult for me to concentrate on what one person is saying. Therefore I have a tendency to 'zone out' in such situations, which means I can get very quiet in big social groups - I'm generally the quietest person in any conversation of more than two people.


I have noticed on another forum that I read that it does have a high proportion of people with AS, or who exhibit that type of personality, and the internet has been a godsend for them, enabling them to get to know people without the drawbacks of a live social situation. When they do actually meet up, it's a lot easier for them as the ice has already been broken online.

No probs at all :)


Truth is I coped very badly. I would never fight back, or bite. I would just burst into tears, which obviously made them do it more and more.


It went on from when I started normal school at age of 7, until I finally left school at 17 (I left while doing A levels because of the bullying). It stopped when I changed schools half way through my first year of A levels, because nobody knew me so I was alright. However some of the kids from my old school went to my new schools 6th form, and the problems started again. Chavs, I fricking hate them!


Jealousy, easy target, too honest etc. Jealousy because I was much cleverer than them (though theyd hate to admit they were jealous), I was an easy target because of the fact I wear glasses and was no good at sports. Plus being very quiet and not willing to fight back etc.


There were a few complications. I lost motivation to do any work. Through year 10 I thought to myself, Im gonna doss around and not do any work and I might get some respect off the bullies. That is how low I felt! Stopped doing homework and everything. The teachers knew something was wrong, and finally in year 11 it was sorted, but they feared it was too late for me to get good grades. I put paid to that eventually getting near 95% in most exams to make up for no coursework! Lucky escape really.

I ended up walking home from school some nights which was hard as it was a 90 minute walk, because I couldnt endure the school bus bullying. Had all sorts done to me, hair sprayed then almost set alight. One time I was walking down stairs to get off bus, and someone grabbed my bag from above me dangling me in the air, then dropping me! Been spat on, had coins thrown at me, milkshake and drinks spilled on me, rulers on back of the head, let alone the constant name calling. Getting a normal bus was just as bad, and the teachers didnt want to do nothing about it!


I was riubbish at football, but eventually learned if I wanted the ball I had to tackle. I did get in the A squad but never got a game. I think they did it to shut me up, but i was hurt when I asked the teacher when I'd play . He said to me "when we are 6-0 up, then you can play". That killed me inside. I was alright at basketball, but was told I was too short and that i would just be knocked about. So I was never really a sport player, more games like Snooker and Pool which I was very good at.


I wish I'd taken my dads advice and just put a block of wood to one of the tossers heads then all this would have stopped.

Seriously, I dont know what i could change. Maybe year 10 continuing to work hard like i did before that, but I dont know how I could change my mindset to carry on. The teachers were fed up of me complaining about bullying, and I couldnt carry on. All the other schools were just as bad so there was no point switching.


It feels rich me giving advice about how to handle school. All I would try to do is maybe try and just get involved in what you can sport wise. Just try and kick the ball about at breaktimes to try and fit in. And dont get upset like I did if you dont get involved. Basically try as hard as you can to hide any emotions you feel. That is very hard to do and I couldnt do it. And ALWAYS TELL THE TEACHERS if there is a problem! Dont resort to violence, but Im sure youll tell your son that anyway :)


I dont really at all. I have two proper friends I had from my time playing darts, one of them is a World Champion, although I aint spoke to him for a while. (I wont namedrop). I have some friends Ive made through chess, but other than that i really dont speak to anybody. All the guys from my music days still havent grown up, and I dont wish to associate with people who act like babies when they are 23. I refuse to be dragged down by them and their playground antics.


Yep, very much so. This is one of the worst things for me as a person. It is borderline painful sometimes to look at people in the eye, I just cannot do it. I cant explain why. When i go to interviews and stuff, my solution is to look at the persons forehead who I am speaking to. At least this way you are looking towards them. Maybe that could be good advice for your son if hes struggling with looking at people, look at their foreheads, much the same way as you would look at a clock if you were nervous during a presentation.

The only people I never feel uncomfortable looking at in the eyes are the girls that I have been out with. Because they are the only people I have felt I can trust 100% and I obviously want to look at them :)


My first relationship was when i was 17. But my first one which lasted more than a month due to them being cheating slags was when I was 18. Funny enough it was my 18th birthday when I met a girl called Sam, who was to be the love of my life for the next 3 years, until I split up with her the day before my 21st birthday. She was a lying bitch who went on GMTV saying how she was over certain issues, then would go back to the same old things afer appearing on the show. She tormented me mentally, and I couldnt break away from it, until the day i had enough the day before my 21st. Havent had a girlfriend since, havent even had contact with a girl despite all my effort. I just cannot be bothered to try no more, I want a smart girl, no dout Ill be waiting a long time.


As Ive said before, Aspergers is a gift not a disability. Yes we have impairments but we also can be far more talented than other people, so I wouldnt look at the girl as one with AS. I would see her for her. There would be certain things that would make a relationship better, and some things worse. We would understand each other better and our passions would be supported by one another. Ive never met a girl with any form of autism without knowing it, so I couldnt really say.

Yeah that noise is annoying at times too. Nightclubs are a pain in the arse partly for that reason that there are so many different things going on. Any more than 1-2-1 contact I struggle to talk at all. Im only really comfortable talking to one person at a time.


Is it another poker forum? Or just a general forum? I still find it hard when I meet up with them, but eventually the nerves go and things are okay then. It isnt something I do very often to be fair.

Great answers,

i am more convinced now that Charlie does have A.S even to the point that he needed his hearing constantly checked and even now I can call him numerous times before i get a response from him.

I think ill print the page off and let my son read it and see what he thinks.

You may only have a small number of real friends but i can guarantee you you have got loads of blonde buddies and i'm sure they will increase in numbers from this thread..

A very good point & if you let us know how to make things more comfortable for you, you know people would bear it in mind were you to attend a blonde Bash - we're nice to everyone - even Kinboshi.

Please find out who has been nice to Kinboshi at blonde bashes and ban them - we don't want that sort of thing catching on.

I think it was Boldie....

I knew it - he's been nothing but trouble.

+ 1
would be great to meet you

Fugly - please come to the next bash.  It'll be nice to speak to someone intelligent at a bash for a change.

;)

And then when Fugly want's somebody intelligent to talk to you can point out who AndrewT is

Then we're all happy :)up

(as long as we can avoid you).

 :'(

It really hurts when your hero is mean to you like this

Can we ban Kinboshi now? That would cheer me back up :D

Can I ask you a question or two about your interest in chess?

Would it be fair to say that two of your chess related goals are to become an international master, and to find a girlfriend who is also a chess player?

Do you have any other chess related goals?

You'd be right about me wanting to become an International master. My dream would be Grand Master, but I think that is ridiculously hard to achieve (not that IM isnt, GM is just so damn near impossible that i couldnt set it as a goal in my lifetime. The second one about a girlfriend - I wouldnt say no if it happened, but that isnt the main reason why I play chess :) I cant set goals to improve my chances of getting a gf in chess really can I? :P Unless I can break Alexandria Kosteniuk up with her husband ;)

My short term goals are to reach a 1600 rating in the first year of play, 1800 in second, 1900 in third, 2000 in fourth and so on. Im trying to put together a study plan as my study isnt structured, I just look at books and play with no defined plan, just a set amount of hours. But quality is more important than quantity, so thats my immediate goal is to get in contact with a Grand Master or IM or good chess trainer, who can tell me how to study effectively.

No suck outs, topless ladies only and no Boldie :D

Only kidding, I dont think anything would need adjusting, just an understanding that I can sometimes be withdrawn, and not an unsociable arsehole like my old darts teammates used to think of me. If I do attend the BB, I wont be playing any poker because I will just get eaten alive lol

The good thing about Blonde Bashes is its not so much about the poker (though we all want to win it), its more about meeting up and putting faces to names and just having a good time...trust me you will love it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer these questions, its like being able to get answers to questions I know I wouldnt get from my kids.

I am sorry to hear you had such a bad time at school, my son cant wait to leave and its such a shame because he is a really bright lad and won top of his year at maths this year even though he says he hates it because the teacher is always shouting at the kids telling them to shut up and they just laugh at him. He studies at home what he cant learn in school.

I think he has taken the "stay out of the way" method of surviving though he has come home covered in yougurt and always insists on crisps for his lunch box even though he hates them. He is coping for now.

Funnily enough the ear specialist was the first stop for him too and the test completely freaked him out, I had to pin him down on the floor to stop him wrecking the machines. He too would not talk but knew his numbers from a very early ages (he loved countdown).

When he started playgroup at nearly 3 I was pulled aside as they were worried because he refused to learn his 1-10, dont worry I said, he knows his numbers and alphabet. No he doesnt they said and we aim to teach the kids the basics of numbers and letters before preschool. I asked for a piece of paper and wrote down several 5 and 6 figure numbers which he recited perfectly much to the amusement of the staff as it was the first time they had heard him speak. They were gobsmacked  :D

I will add more to this thread soon but im a 2 finger typer and it takes me ages to type anything up.

ear test for joseph was first step,strange that.he also had a test for epilepsy because of the blank stares he would give people,the doctors were convinsed it was a type of fit.

this thread is a great read for anyone who has someone with AS in their life i have pointed it out to my family to read too.

thx for your imput baz,hounestly the way you discribe yourself is my 11 to a T.

I printed this thread out and gave it to Charlie to read and high light anything that he could relate to,it was surprising how many similarities there were when i get it back ill post it on here,he was also pretty cool about it as well..

I look forward to that mate. :)

Not quite sure what to say, but what an amazing thread.   I admire your honesty and openness Baz.  You should definitely come to the next blonde bash, I think you'd have a great time.

Best wishes :)

I am not normally moved in the way that I am now -- I am a big ignorant Irishman -- but your posts are so moving, honest and if I am true to myself - beautiful.

Live long and prosper Fugly -- you have soooooo much to offer

If you drink I'll buy the first one at the next BB -- if you don't I'll  drink for both of us

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

Slán agus beannacht leat

Nice one FuglyBaz great thread make sure we see you at BB8

That brought a tear to my eye.....i wish you the same m8

I wanted to thank anybody who has read this thread, and knows a little bit more about Aspergers Syndrome, and High Functioning Autism in general from reading this thread. I didn't think so many other people would come on and say their child may have AS or other Autism related conditions. It is good to feel that I'm not alone sometimes, though in person I can feel very isolated on occasion.

I'm surprised, and moveed myself, that my posts moved the majority of you. I have only ever told one other forum about my problems like this, because they were slagging me off for being unsociable at darts events when I just wanted to be professional about playing, and explained my social anxiety. They treated me like scum of the earth after I tried to tell them, whereas you guys have been the complete opposite. I'm grateful for that, really.

Poker players generally dont have a reputation for being nice guys, it's all quite primitive really isn't it? Survival of the fittest and all that. But you guys havents posted here as ruthless poker players, you've posted as people. For that I'm grateful too.

I've had a lump in my throat when reading some replies back, because it reminds me of what Ive gone through. And while I tend to remember a lot of the bad things AS has had in store for me, I can always remember one thing - the positives of AS far outweigh the negatives. I have a gift, and I encourage anyone who has AS to really go after something they feel they are good at, because the likelyhood is, that they could do far better than anyone with a 'normal' mind. There has to be a level of eccentricity there to become a genius, 'normal' people dont have that.

So again, thank you all, and to cia632876321874621784632164 (whatever the number is :P) if you ever get time to post about your son, would be nice to see what he said about it.

Thanks all again
Bazza

PS, sorry for hijacking of thread in first place :)

no probs m8

will stick it up as soon as i get it back from the ex.

Just want to say thank you to CIA for starting this thread and an especial thank you to you, Bazza, for posting so honestly and eloquently - this has been a fascinating read -  I had some previous knowledge and understanding of Asperger's but this has really led me to realise a lot more of the experiences someone with, as you say, this gift, goes through and I really appreciate it.

Can I add to the Blondes who are now looking forward to meeting you if you could make a BB.

In no way have you hijacked the thread - you have really opened up a subject and informed and benefitted a lot of folk. I hope your family can read this one day, too.

All the very best.

Painstakingly i have inserted all the text from the posts which Charlie highlighted(reproduced below in BOLD type  as  how he sees things,

Not being pc gifted i couldnt get all quotes onto 1 post so have had to do seperate posts for each section he highlighted,(1 day i'll get the hang of it),After re reading it i am still unsure if charlie is AS or just borderline,but after reading your posts Bazza I am sure in my own mind that I can now understand his thought process a little easier.

This reaslly has been a great insight to all who read this thread.

just 1 thing the bit where charlie has highlighted that he plays guitar is true he goes to 1  half hour lesson per week but will not or cant be interested to practice it,which drives me nuts as to be good at it he has to practice/practice/practice I'd rather he did something that he enjoys more but i suppose he might think as long as he keeps going to his lessons that will do him???


Thanks Harmony but its Fuglybaz that we owe it all to for being so open and honest  :respect: :)up :)up

Ian luv ...even I dont understand what you are saying here.

Have you "bold printed" the stuff that Charlie agrees with?

One thing I would like to point out is that 1 of the main problems throughout my daughters school life is that she refuses to do homework (1 of the main reasons she is in a special school now)..school is for school work...home is not for school work..end off.

Years and years of trying to get her to read her reading book or do simple sums at home failed dismally. She would quite happily read magazines and do kids quiz/maths books bought from the local shop though etc

I think you might have the same problem with the guitar lessons...try having a chat with your sons tutor and explaining the situation. If he could have the odd lesson at home it will solve the sitution but come up with a good excuse..ie guitar studio has no money to pay electric bill or something..that way you can say this weeks electrics is on next week its off so you need to have a lesson at home...any excuse to get it into his mind that guitar is fun and can be done at class or home.

Sy should have explained it a bit better all the above quotes that have been highlighted in BOLD type are the bits from the thread that Charlie highlighted

Baz you have mentioned work a couple of times,  i was wondering what type of work you have done and are currently doing?

If you had a choice what type of job would you most like to do? (chess/poker not included in this question)

The one show on BBC1 now discussing stigma attached to mental illness - pretty interesting.

Was AndrewT in it, starring as 'the bad guy'?

Hi mate, I did retail for two years while at school and after i left while I looked for something better. Was supposed to do music college but it didnt work out. In 2003 I went to work in Insurance, and stayed there till Oct 2007,when I was unfairly dismissed. I was rushed out the door as soon as I mentioned why I mightve had problems with Stress and other issues, which i think I highlighted earlier in thread.

Currently out of employment, however just yesterday i got a phone call from Birmingham City Council offering me a job for 9 months, calling people whove had repair work done on their house. I have to ensure they are satisfied with the work and if not what we can do to rectify matters.

My ideal job involves being away from general public, so that I can hide my emotion a little better when faced with pressure situations. I cannot stand in a shop knowing that I can do much better for myself. This isn't a knock to anybody who works in a shop, I'm just saying my skill set is better suited to office work. I cannot deal with people in the normal manner I would be expected to, and I remember from past experience that if anybody upset me in person I wouldn't be able to control myself, whereas over the phone I just think 'and who the f*** are you?' and when the phone is put down I can forget about it.

lol no - but Alastair Campbell was on there plugging his new book - sounds like it could be a good read.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/All-Mind-Alastair-Campbell/dp/0091925789/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225234081&sr=8-2

Alastair Campbell the crook and the liar? Alastair "Scum of the Earth" Campbell ?...yeah ..his book should be good, great fiction writer so he is.

Baz it seems no matter how many times i try and drum it into charlie that it would be nice for him to call me or text me even after i top his mobile up,he just doesnt do it,how are you with calling people like family members is this something you avoid or only do if you have to know something? maybe this is just the norm but it does leave me slightly bewildered sometimes??

+ hows the chess going m8?

Even I can answer this one...he has no reason to call/text unless he has a question that needs answered.

He presumes you are well and if you were ill someone would tell him otherwise and even then there is nothing he could do to help so whats the point in calling?

Dont expect your son to call for a "chat" Ian..it just wont happen.

That sounds like me  ;carlocitrone;

WOW this quite some thread.  Just discovered it.  I have a few points to add.

I at one time thought my daughter had mild aspergers, the spectrum is very broad.  As a small child she would meet relatives in shops and treat them as if she had never met them, not too unusual but she also did this with me when i met her out with our childminder.

She also still doesnt interact with people like most people but in her head she thinks she does.  Once I watched her talking to a hairdresser but really it was the hairdresser talking to her.  Afterwards she retold everything to me as if she had actually joined in the conversation.

The thing is she has quite a big head so I'm interested to hear the results of the head size test.

I think my husband and I have small traits that could lead to this which make me wonder if we all thought about it, don't we all have small degrees of it?

My boss who has treated many autistic/aspergers children and adults says one of the signs he has noticed often is a unusually high interest in water and taps.  He is a dentist and always finds the children drawn to the basin in the room and also the fact that they will always take the mouth mirror from him and try to see in their own mouth.

Rambling now I think.  Just to say i look forward to learning more from all of you on this thread.

Funnily enough I thought exactly the same :-)


Very interesting, my daughter is a "smearer". When she goes to the toilet she doesnt just wash her hands....she washes the sink, the tiles, the taps, the bathroom mirrors and she does it with toothpaste/shower gel/conditioner etc. She also does her "cleaning" with toilet tissue which clogs up the pipes and I have spent a bloody fortune on plumbers clearing blocked sinks.

Oh why did I become a plumber??????????????

Well looks like I'm not autistic after all:

Dear Ian Attwater,

Thank you again for taking part in my research for University College
London last year. The research project has now been completed, and as
requested, I am writing to inform you of the results found.

The study investigated the link between enlarged head circumference
(people whose heads are larger than normal) and ‘Weak Central Coherence’
(a tendency to look at the finer details while missing the bigger picture,
which makes people very good at understanding and remembering small
details, but not at understanding the gist or overall meaning). This link
has been found in children with autism, and because autism is largely due
to genetics and runs in families, with ‘milder’ versions of the symptoms
of autism shown parents (e.g. being shy), this research predicted that a
similar link would be shown by parents. Parents with enlarged head
circumference who have a child with autism, and parents of a child with
autism who has enlarged head circumference, completed tasks designed to
test whether they have ‘Weak Central Coherence’. Parents of children with
autism but no enlarged head circumference in the family, and parents of
typically developing children also completed the tasks to provide a
comparison.

It was predicted that parents of a child with autism and enlarged head
circumference in the family would show Weak Central Coherence, finding it
more difficult to switch from looking at small pictures to looking at big
pictures than the other way round. However, no difference was found
between this group of parents, and the group without enlarged head
circumference in the family or the group of parents of typically
developing children. This suggests there is no link between enlarged head
circumference and Weak Central Coherence in the parents of children with
autism.

It may be that this result is due to specific problems with this
experiment, so that a link which does exist was missed. However, if these
results are backed up by further research, this may indicate that the ways
parents of children with autism are similar to their children are more
complicated than simply having ‘milder’ versions of the symptoms of
autism. This is important to our understanding of how autism and its
symptoms run in families.

I hope you found participating in this experiment interesting and
informative, and if you have any further questions please don’t hesitate
to contact me.

Best wishes and many thanks,

Verity,
University College London

does it?  Looks to me like it just says the study didn't find a correlation between head circumference and likelyhood of having a child with autism?

DAMN !!!!!!!!