Am I autistic?

[FuglyBaz]

The last post reads, RIP thread lol.....

[Rod Paradise]

  & to you Baz - those were fantastic posts & I only wish I had the courage to write completely honestly like that.

Have you ever read The Speed of Dark by Elisabeth Moon? I recommended it to a couple of friends with Autistc/Aspergers kids & they felt it gave them a bit more insight - despite it being fiction - the author's son is autistic.

I'd love to know your views on it.

[WYSINWYG]

& to you Baz - those were fantastic posts & I only wish I had the courage to write completely honestly like that.

+1, great read, keep them coming please. Actually, you write really well.

You talk about not hanging around at parties and the like, what would you say is the main obstacle to this? Hope you don't mind these questions.

[AndrewT]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

[FuglyBaz]

& to you Baz - those were fantastic posts & I only wish I had the courage to write completely honestly like that.

Have you ever read The Speed of Dark by Elisabeth Moon? I recommended it to a couple of friends with Autistc/Aspergers kids & they felt it gave them a bit more insight - despite it being fiction - the author's son is autistic.

I'd love to know your views on it.

Thats the beauty of the internet sometimes, although in my case I'm fairly open with most people who ask me anything.

I've never really read any books on Autism to be honest. I've always felt that i coped fairly well in certain situations where other people struggle. Such as in employment for example. Well...up until last year anyway, untill I was unfairly dismissed (settled out of court).

A book that was recommended to me was called "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. It says in there that geniuses like Einstein had autistic tendencies themselves, and it apparently reveals an interesting fact - Einstein never knew how to tie his shoe laces, up until the day that he died. And it is interesting, because while we can do these sometimes overly complex things in our life, we cannot comprehend something so simple as tying up shoe laces. I couldn't tie my laces till I was 8 funnily enough, but that was through laziness more than anything, but when i had to learn it took me a month, and I used a cardboard cut out of a shoe with laces on, to practise. My mom still reminds me of when I was in tears when I finally learned how to do it.

Another concept I failed to understand as a small child was the concept of silent reading. It sounds stupid, but I could not read without talking! I was always taught to read and talk so i could get my words out, then all of a sudden was told to not speak. I couldnt adjust.

I'll digress anyway...I should read that book. Ill look up Amazon and see if I can get a cheap copy

+1, great read, keep them coming please. Actually, you write really well.

You talk about not hanging around at parties and the like, what would you say is the main obstacle to this? Hope you don't mind these questions.

I dont mind the questions at all. If I feel uncomfortable at any point I'll say so

I really dont know what my biggest obstacle is. I could only list certain things that cause me emotional anxiety. If you had me at gunpoint and I had to say one, I would say my inability to keep constant eye contact. I know socially it is seen as a real bad thing to not make eye contact with someone, but it is painful for me to do so! I have to look at peoples foreheads in interviews and stuff....I cannot describe it. I also struggle to make conversation with people. I realise this is a problem for people with low self esteem anyway, but I have this fear of rejection or of boring people. I cant tell peoples emotions very well, and the worst thing (which has happened before) is to think Ive had a good conversation with someone, for them to then turn around and say what a boring ****. All because Ive gone on and on about something they have no interest in.

I also struggle with girls, which is the main reason I dont go out. It never used to be a problem when i was doing the music stuff, but I had a girlfriend so intended to be loyal despite some offers from some stunners. After a gig people wanted to talk about music so it was great for me because I could go on and on and on and people would listen. Everybody always had nice compliments for my playing, and more for the size of my kit. Im not an egomaniac by any means, but it was nice to feel normal, and the nice comments were welcomed.

Obviously, with other obsessions Ive had like darts, poker and now chess (which i hope will now be a life long one!) it is very much an individual thing where people arent so willing to talk to you. The only time people talked to me at darts was to criticise me for trying to play the pro circuit too soon.

To quote Oscar Wilde "Where nature leads you, you must go" - people didnt appreciate I was just doing what i felt I had to do. There is a survival instinct in darts and poker as well, every man for themselves. Very secretive in the way of talking about certain things. That always made things harder for me.

I seem to keep going on and on, sorry if this annoys anyone.

[FuglyBaz]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

So you are not like the other things that have been mentioned? There is far more to it than just obsession/single mindedness, it is a psychological condition and is actually classed as a learning difficulty, god knows why though?!?

Your comment on paying for pills is a little unfair though mate. I dont have to take any medication for what I have, nor does any other sufferer of AS or Semantic Pragmatic Disorder that I've come across.

[Dingdell]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

[kinboshi]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

That shirt though...

[Dingdell]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

That shirt though...

Obv something questionable if you take the shirt into consideration - good point Kin - I withdraw my last post of support.

[AndrewT]

but the truth is that I cant just go out like normal people and converse.....it doesnt happen...... I can converse well on internet (well i try) but my verbal communication isnt so good unless it is about a subject I am passionate for or already have a lot of knowledge about.

I then got interested in geography, and more specifically knowing the flags and capital cities for every country in the world

Well, I'm like this as well. I can't really talk to people I don't know in real life, I memorised capital cities, flags, prime numbers, pages of dictionaries etc when I was a kid. I'm also prone to exhibit other associated traits like not being able to empathise with people.

The thing is, I just don't think that's a medical condition. 'Being a bit obsessed with small stuff' is as little a medical condition as 'getting a bit sad sometimes' or 'getting angry from time to time'. I'm sure this trend to give everyone a little label with 'Syndrome X' on is just a way to get people to pay money for pills.

So you are not like the other things that have been mentioned? There is far more to it than just obsession/single mindedness, it is a psychological condition and is actually classed as a learning difficulty, god knows why though?!?

Your comment on paying for pills is a little unfair though mate. I dont have to take any medication for what I have, nor does any other sufferer of AS or Semantic Pragmatic Disorder that I've come across.

That wasn't specifically aimed at Aspergers - it's more a general 'you're not full of beans you must be ill have some happy pills' tendency within some who concern themselves with medicine.

Having had a look through the Wikipedia article on AS, I do have some of the other characteristics (poor sleep, physical awkwardness, good visual perception, difficulty in identifying emotions) but fail at not being able to understand nonliteral language or irony or humor.

However, as AS can't be medically diagnosed for certain, and you don't need to tick all the boxes, that might be enough to qualify. If I were to go to a doctor and say 'I think I have Aspergers' he might decide I was right, even though I'd be lying.

[AndrewT]

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

Yes, but I don't really communicate with you do I?

I just sit there and listen...

[Dingdell]

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

Yes, but I don't really communicate with you do I?

I just sit there and listen...

Ouch. 

[AndrewT]

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

Yes, but I don't really communicate with you do I?

I just sit there and listen...

Ouch. 

I nod as well. There's lots of nodding.

[gatso]

A book that was recommended to me was called "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson. It says in there that geniuses like Einstein had autistic tendencies themselves, and it apparently reveals an interesting fact - Einstein never knew how to tie his shoe laces, up until the day that he died.

have you seen this article? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3766697.stm

speculation on quite a few big names of the past and err, Lisa Simpson

[kinboshi]

I've never found you difficult to communicate with Andrew, your wit on Blonde and in real life shows imo a real ability to communicate on all levels. x

Yes, but I don't really communicate with you do I?

I just sit there and listen...

Ouch. 

I nod as well. There's lots of nodding.

...and frowning.