blonde poker forum

(http://equalchance.co.uk/graphics/index/r2rside.jpg)

blonde Poker has a seat to give away to the £200 NLHE event, £10,000 gtd first prize, to one member

Via a competition

To be eligible, post "Yes please" and a five line limerick containing the word "blonde" in it.....

A random draw will then take place on 10th December.

One stipulation: 10% of your winnings in this event to be returned to blonde Poker to be used towards funding live updates

there once was a blonde from nantucket.....

There once was a blonde called thetank,
45-mans he knew how to spank,
But he quit at the top,
Swapped his mouse for a mop,
And said "I've given up teh pokers, they're wank".

Winner!

You're too kind, but probably right that at this stage I'm looking like winning the random draw.

There once was a blonde called MC,
Whose story's a rare one to see,
He hit the nosebleeds,
When young and naive,
Now he's grown up and grinds SNGs.

Is this a live or online event?

Live in east london. Obv suitable for southern based blondes

http://www.equalchance.co.uk/


their forum on here at: http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?board=64.0


Nice place, nicely run.

yes please

blonde blonde blonde
blonde blonde blonde
poker poker poker
poker poker poker
someone poker that blonde

ffs never said i was any good at limericks and i just needed to entry one to enter the draw so dont blame me

yes please.

there once was a blonde with nice tits,
who loved the pokerz to bits,
Tighty gave her the free seat,
so she massaged his feet,*
Then went on to pwn all the nits.

*artistic licence, in no way a binding promise or anything, right?

Sometimes I think the talents of blondepoker members are wasted on poker.

yes please (random draw not by me)


there was a blonde bird called Claw
Her tits make boys jaws drop to the floor
Her singing of REO Speedwagon
Made me put a firm gag on
and with that she showed me the door

can you pop the gag back in the post pls tighty? kthx.

Yes please

I met a blonde called Sophia
She had terrible diarrhoea
I did her up the rear
turns out she gave me gonorrhoea!  
SHIT forget it needed to be 5 lines OH DEAR!!

top Corking.

Oop just edited my one added the 5 line didn't see you needed 5 lines haha

There was a man named Prew,
Did all the work on blonde he could do,
In his pink pants,
He listened to Turny's rants,
And never said F*** you too!


(ps. Yes pls)

If I was in charge  of picking a winner I would pick Greeky.

Oops didn't see it was random! Lol I like it!

Of the G in Luton I've grown quite fond
Because nearly every one there is a Blonde
With names like Tighty, Celtic and Gas
And groups like the Gaylacticos and the MAS
Great fun and great people - with a common bond!

A Blonde on vacation called Prew
Sent a post card to all Blondes from Peru
Said he was having some fun
Somewhere out in the sun
But with poker, he had not a clue..!!

:)

 There was once this stockbroker
 who used to post on blonde poker
 he typed his hand histories
 which were a bit of a mystery
 as he played them like a total joker

  :D


yes please

thought that i would just clear the air
as to let you all know cos its only fair
that Chris Brammer HASNT GINGER HAIR
he's like his sister they share a bond
both their hair is Strawberry Blonde  !

not strictly a limerick... but it just had to be said
 ;D

A basque-wearing blonde named Claire
Has a penchant for betting with air.
She says that it works
With most of the jerks
Who assume that she has a big pair.

^^^ Like it.

I can't actually play in this comp so I'm not entering, just addicted to writing stupid rhymes.

The blonde CEO who's called TightEnd,
In fear that the RSQ MightEnd,
Said: "If your questions are poo
Prew'll come after you"
But Sharlea just shrugged: "I ain't FrightEnd".

YES PLEASE

That chompy has got some front,
And he lkes the occassional punt,
Spends all day on blonde,
Is worse than LaRonde,
Basically he's just a

I dont get it, the last line has to rhyme with the first 2 i think

Karabiner and Claw lead the field.

Since it's random draw time I jest need to qualify imo - please enter me Richard !

Have you seen that blonde they call Chimpy
Loves kebabs, and is getting quite Blimpy
Personalised plates
Sure get him dates
That white Skoda just makes him look Pimpy

Oh, and camel is right if it was a merit thang

you're supposed to say 'yes please' not offer those kind of favours.

you have no taste mate

mine was way better than anyone elses in a random draw

Doffing my cap to George Formby with a hilarious double entendre was supposed to sneak me ahead of the randomnessness

entry invalid imo.  ul.

Yes please

Blondes Tikay on Sky is the pro,
no diary updates due to the snow?
His mates is the Red Dog,
and Tighty whose Spacefrog
soon christmas so Paul Ho Ho Ho.

Yes please.

Tightend is a legend at blonde
He's the Kevmath from this side of the pond
You know your're fucked when he 3 bets all in
He's in love with Andy King
But even he can't understand the Mond.

Marvellous


Start packing that random suitcase

Norrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - I dilly-dallyed and someone else has used the Paul Ho Ho Ho line.

“Yes please”

There was a boy called Reece
All we wanted for him was health and peace
He’s got blonde, Daz ,his mum and the Nun
So lets get him on the plane it’s time to run
So ill add 30% of any winnings for his fun

Yes Please

There once was a blonde named Blatch,
And a thieving plan he did hatch,
The backlash was strong,
Victims kicked a up pong,
So he paid up before he got whacked.

Yes please

It sprang into his head with gusto
Being a Balla, would tick a box on his must do
But when the Rolls' engine went bang
It screwed up his great plan
As now poor blonde tikay was busto

Remix

One day our blonde leader said fuck it
Being Balla ticks a box on my Bucket
But he was just filled with doom
When that engine went boom
He said damn, they were right. I'm a fuckwit

Apart from byronic acid you lot mostly make me feel like Will Skakespeare.

I am a man whiter than white,
I play poker tighter than Tight,
I have lol hair,
Hate the kidz who play with flair,
SO PLAY ON SKYPOKER.COM.

rotflmfao

Recently seen on AWOP,
Around Jonny Plums ankles did drop,
His cacks, I believe,
For his partner, Blonde Steve,
Whilst mincing in Malcom Gee's mop.

FAIL !

No mention of Blonde.

There is now     .....

Winner for me. Made a couple of promising starts here...

There once was a Blonde called Dean,
Who liked to lick windows clean,


There once was a Blonde called Nirvana,
Who looked like he was sat on a banana,
He was offered a fight,
After talking endless shite,
But just sat there crying. Errr, havana.

Hopeful blondes like nirvana and Claw
Penned a ditty to go in the draw
But they're wasting their time
By forgetting that I'm
Tighty's friend (what are fellow mods for?)

There once was a Blonde called Dingdell
who was worried her fingers might smell.
Although she was gloved
when she gave a big shove
the leaks could be difficult to quell.

[  ] Thanks for that image

Excellent, not the words, however, they are good.

But it scans as a limerick should.

 I know its just a bit of fun but I do think this is a job for a ninja mod to sort - ie delete all incorrectly scanning limos from this thread - starting with Chompy's plizz

2nd entry

In Luton a Blonde called Glenn
Did a deal and bought a new den
At poker he's quite able
But he props up the table
Wondering when he'll win again!

3rd entry

A part time Blonde called Bird Forum
Perfectly polite, with decorum
Has a Friend called Drainy
Who he thinks is [ ] quite brainy
Though his posts often bore - um

In the draw so far

Moskvich
Ironside
Claw
Tighty
34betsooted5betshoveetc
GreekStein
Lucky
Shogun
treefella
toots2
celtic
nirvana
cdw
cia
Pelham boy
Ace2m
Byron
Luther
chompy
dingdell
RED
Lucky

22 names. entries close Fri 10th midday

This will be a random draw

One person not involved will put a number to each name by PM, and another person will choose a number by PM

We'll do two reserves to in case first pick can't make it

Don't put me in the draw please, I can't actually play the comp. Thanks.

If he doesn't want his go, add it to mine.

Thanks.

Meh. should be the best limerick wins imo.

Get three random blondes to rank 1,2 and 3 and limerick with most points wins the seat.

i would have tried harder with my limerick if that had been stipulated...

There was a young blonde with a nose,
Who said, 'If you choose to suppose,
That my nose is too long,
You are certainly not wrong!'
That degenerate greek with a nose

random ftw then i stand a chance.

There once was a blonde with looked like a mare,
Every time he ate a Crunchie he lost a hair,
A stupid old mong,
his mum had a dong,
Can only be soviet-song.

I can't believe I put my poetic prowess to work and then it turns out to be a random draw.

To add insult to injury I appear to have been left out of the candidate's list too  :tikay:

me too.  random draw ftw. 

I love all the limericks and they are all clever, which is why I asked for them

Definitely a random draw though, otherwise GreekStein would have no chance

Quality

In the draw so far

Karabiner
Drain Alien
Little red riding hood
Ironside
Claw
34betsooted5betshoveetc
GreekStein
Lucky
Shogun
treefella
toots2
celtic
nirvana
cdw
cia
Pelham boy
Ace2m
Byron
Luther
chompy
dingdell
RED
Lucky
SovietSong

23 names. entries close Fri 10th

This will be a random draw

One person not involved will put a number to each name by PM, and another person will choose a number by PM

We'll do two reserves to in case first pick can't make it

have a lymerick battle off imo

"Yes please" Tighty

There once was a lady called Mrs Hunt
She had a most beautiful.......Smile
Her hair was so blonde
Her boyfriend was fond
....Clearly the winner - by a Country Mile

Yes Please

Drainy's a Blonde hero member,
His posts are often ones to remember,
His poker's gone pear-shaped this year,
Resulting in many a tear,
He's only gone and retired again in December!

LRRH

There once was a guy named Sudoku,
Who decided to hire a bloke who,
Looked, yes please, a lot like Yoda,
And drove, yes please, around a Skoda,
"Why you call me with that rubbish? You got no clue?"

FAIL
No "Yes Please" u Donk

I asked Laxie

Please can you put a number between 1 and 24 next to each of these people for me?

and she replied

24- Karabiner
13 - Drain Alien
2 - Little red riding hood
9 - Ironside
16 - Claw
11 - 34betsooted5betshoveetc
8 - GreekStein
19 - Lucky
12 - Shogun
1 -treefella
14 - toots2
7 - celtic
20 - nirvana
18 - cdw
3 - cia
22 - Pelham boy
15 - Ace2m
4 - Byron
10 - Luther
6 - chompy
21 - dingdell
17 - RED
5 - Lucky
23 - SovietSong


I asked TheChipPrince, and he replied



«  Sent to: TightEnd  on: Today at 10:17:47 AM »

Please choose me three numbers between 1 and 24 for a seat draw I am doing

9, 12, 22.

So playing the event will be


1st Choice Ironside

2nd Shogun

3rd Pelham Boy



So if Ironside can let me know whether he intends playing please, and if not I will go to Shogun and so on


Once we know who is playing I will let the venue know

Fk my life. It's Ironside.

Ironside and Shogun - nice local players to Walthamstow there.

Next, Drain Alien wins a seat to the Inverness Masters on a Monday in february

Hmmm, not 100% certain a wheelchair can get in equal chance. Might be wrong though.

If he wants to play, Ironside to check please

(I've already told them to ditch the ramp)

Can't question the randomness of it...that's for sure.   rotflmfao  Well done you 3 and good luck to the one who takes up the seat!!!

Lol - Actually, I am down that way during the xmas new year period :)

Fix - ruling plz

vinny is checking access for me
i am checking transport and hotel feasiblity

at present i plan to take up the option and hope to scoop this forblonde but i will let carl and ricjh now asap if i cannot make it

couple of days out of this hell hole of a winter would be nice

ps anyone know of any cheap hotels close by that would havve access

pps i won something  FML i run good in freerolls

ok, just let me know when you decide


Hotels. It's in Walthamstow. Not a hotel hotspot. Central London around Liverpool Street and a<£10 cab is the way to go

Express by holiday inn is the nearest I think iron. Gonna go tonight and find out about access.

Vin, if its confirmed tonight can you let the guys at EC know please? Pete Rundle is aware

No problemo.

well done Ironside!  Hope it's doable for you, and if it is will try to get over to meet you for a drink while you're down.

anyone know how far the club is from kingsX
also what time is it likely to finish?

thinking of taking train down as flight means about £300 costs whereas train is about £80 and i wont need a hotel as i can sleep on it

About 7 miles.

if you really want to cut the expenses you can get the victoria line kings x to tottenham hale, both stations are accessible, then just cab the last mile and a half

whats 7 miles in a taxi cost and time wise

up here i can do 7 miles in 8 minutes on single lane roads
guessing it could be longer and more expensive down south with heavy traffic

gatso not really bothered about costs but fed up spending £600-£1000 for a couple of nights away playing poker when i need to final 3 to cover costs

ok this one is slightly bigger but learning expsenses roll management

Fix!

not sure if this link will work.  If it doesn't, it reckons just over £25 and 30 minutes

http://www.worldtaximeter.com/london/Walthamstow+Greater+London+UK/st+pancras

it's a bank holiday so gonna cost £25-30

taking the tube will be about £3 and £8 for the taxi

won't be much traffic on that route on the 27th, 20 minutes in a cab

you could just get a lift. I am intending to play this so I should be about.

yeah ok as cos says i'm clueless rotflmfao.

well meaning though!

wheelchair access looks like a problem so i am going to have to decline this and let Carl play

good luck Carl

yeah I'd just realised that aswell with my slow brain. There are 3-4 steps up into the club from outside with no form of ramp, + toilets etc are down 2 steps as is the outside smoking area.

Shame that Iron


Carl please confirm to me when you can and I can let EC know

Iron don't mean to be insensitive but if it's 4 steps up and two steps down, would it be unfeasible for someone to carry you?

I could do it if i was going

All sorted, Shogun's name is with EC

Good luck!

cos 15 years ago i wouldnt of thought twice about 30 steps
but 13 years ago i was at brothers wedding i got dropped when a guy lost his footing broke my neck
its not worth the risk of it happening again as the amount of curgery i have had on back and neck i would be unlikey to survive another break
but thanks for the offer