blonde poker forum

Discuss.

Javelin's probably better.

Fuck 'em /thread

i would be charged with man slaughter!

Someone literally tried to kick our front doors in whilst we slept 3 years ago (to steal my car keys). The anguish this has cuased my wife since is untold

They would be lying dead if they tried again

If they can be avoided then leave them to it.

Chances are they're far more violent then you are so just make a bit of noise so they know you're there and hope they go away. Insurance is there to replace your stuff so let them have it.

My personal choice would always be to avoid if possible. If not I'd try to get to my dog's room, open the door and let him deal with it.

How that would go down in the eyes of the law I have no idea.

More chance of him getting away with it than me as far as I'm aware when it's on my property.

[ ] believe.

All sounds good in theory but I'm afraid real life situations just don't go this way.

As much as you like to protect your wife I very much doubt you have it in you to kill a man Guy.

Maybe in a kill or be killed situation but until you know it's gone that far there's no chance.

The fact that a homeowner will in all likelihood be angry/afraid makes it very difficult for them to respond in a measured/considered way. Obviously the law requires that the response is reasonable in terms in force and quite rightly so. I don´t have any sympathy for someone who breaks in to a house and gets a whack/rottweiler bite for their trouble but they certainly aren´t fair game for umilimited violence.

I'm with Matt on this 100%. I'd step outside and give them a bitova 'bemyguest' on the way out if I happened to bump into them.

Been burgled twice and, perhaps, because they were courteous and did no gratuitous damage, it has never bothered me at all. I mean I don't wish for it to happen of course but can't say I've ever lost a moments sleep - guess we're all different.

Also, not being there at the time probably skews things heavily in terms of being unbothered.

BY the way, I'm obviously proper naughty, snide, hard. So, if my bemyguest didn't work and they made a move on me or my family I would unleash hell on them.

I sincerely hope i never find out!

I wouldnt knowingly kill them - but there would be no BMG in my attitude as nirvana suggests. I would protect my property as the law allows

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/no-charge-homeowner-over-burglar-stabbing-102227647.html

Think they should be fair game once on your property, I however would take Matt's line all day I think. Obviously if there is direct danger then this changes and I think it's anyones guess as to how each person will respond. I definitely wouldn't be sending the dog down though as a Cocker Spaniel that's only interested in food isn't gonna do much damage :D

What happens if someone enters my garden and gets torn to shreds by my dog?

There's a 6ft fence all the way round so it's not easy to access.

There's approximately a 100% chance that if someone entered my garden and the dog could get at them that he would cause considerable harm.

One of the reasons that I keep him locked away is because I worry about what he might do to an intruder.

I don't care about the intruder but if I had to have Ronnie put down for ripping someone's face off it would be awful.

i had a bizarre situation after getting burgled years ago when a couple of weeks later i spotted someone i know wearing the brand new £400 jacket that had got nicked during the burglary.

He's a criminal but not the burglary type and i certainly didn't want trouble with him, asked him anyway. A few days later he rang and i met him in a pub where he gave me 3k to cover the stolen items. Didn't ask but assume someone was at least threatened with violence, apart from the jacket the nicked stuff was probably only worth somewhere between £500-1k.

I totally sympathise with the desire to react with violence, my mum had an incident with an attempted burglary and she was deeply traumatised for years to the point she slept with a big knife under her pillow for a long time. It made me sick/angry to see her so upset and afraid in her own home.

burglar in your house, you go downstairs with you robe and a knife/bat/whatever he opens the front door to get out and escape but trips.

do you

a)let him go
b)bash him

if b, how many times?

Easy, let him go.

I would prob shit myself but I know my dad would prob try kill them.

I think that you'd be OK if you ripped a burglar's face off, but Ronnie would probably not be looked on as favourably.  That's based on zero legal-knowledge, but just based on how it seems the courts tend to treat dogs that have injured someone.  If the dog mauled the burglar to defend you, then I guess that might be looked on differently.

Why am I wearing a robe?  What colour is it?

Even in the forces when you are given a rifle, with live ammunition intended to kill, there are so many rules and stipulations. Basically unless something is immediately going to endanger human life then all you can use is necessary force. Shooting someone in the knees is classed as excessive and will probably see you go to prison.

If you saw someone cutting the head off your dog, looting your grandmother's jewelry box or even raping someone you can't use anything but necessary force. Property, animals, theft mean nothing.

My wife's house was burgled as a child and they left muddy footprints on her floor and bed and that seems to have left some scars with her.

I personally would like to be able to use lethal force in order to protect my own property. I have a metal pipe by the side of my bed and a hunting knife in my bedside draw and would be prepared to use either of them if necessary.

I was pretty small until the age of 16, at the age of 10 i moved from safe/friendly York to a culturally diverse area of Manchester, i was mugged 5 times in 4 years and witnessed some horrific sights. One time i had a knife held to me. Everytime i gave them whatever they wanted without a fight as this is what i had been told to do.  Normally it was my mum's money, my walkman etc. No justice was ever done, the police never got anything back, even though they said they knew who one of them was. One time i was bunking off school and was on my way to see my mate who was suspended, i got mugged and couldn't even tell anyone it had happened. that was fun.

When i was 16 i moved to South London, (Streatham right next to Brixton) i was probably about 6ft 1 at this time and had been subjected to a quick lesson in becoming street wise. Had heard all sorts of stories, but was completely sick of being a victim. I vowed never to let anyone mug/ mug me off again. Only one time was some crack head stupid enough to try and rob me [ ] he got anything from me, [ x ] i smashed his face in, since that day only one bad thing has happened to me and that was my own fault when i had a machete pulled on me in a place called Ocho Rios in Jamaica. [ x ] was told not to leave the resort at night, [ ] listened..

In short if anyone has the cheek to try rob my house they are getting it. simples. Insurance doesn't replace everything.

lol@ the image of pleno in a robe, grabbing a knife and "bashing" someone with it. see my diary for a good story that this thread reminded me of.

just pretend it was you

A) What colour on Pleno's robe is the embroidered BITB and is it on the front or back or both???

B) Does Pleno's GF have a MRS BITB robe as well??

Discuss

got suuuuuuch a com pic but too scared to post :(

My missus is from Ocho Rios.....I tend to leave the burglars to her!!!!

One of my uncles who owned a restaurant was put in prison because when someone tried to do a runner, another family member stepped infront of the entrance. The 'runner' then started beating up his person until my uncle came from the kitchen with a knife and stabbed the guy. To me seems like fair game, but not to the law.

IMO the law on this is a load of bollocks. You break into someones house you deserve any beating you get.
If you do encounter a burgler and give a beating, hit/stab/shoot the front of the torso.

I have a few stories of "friends".

Someone tried to rob his garage and he took a sand iron and rushed in dropped them both with two swings...blood everywhere. Friend put iron bar next to them while they were sparko on floor, pigs come and stright away said were they tooled up. The police know the score :) nowt was ever took further with my friend the two thiefs were in hostpial for weeks.

I abs crazy mate of mine was off his head doing wizz, *that still around?* and some men entered his flat and started creeping up the stairs. Mate jumps down 20+ stairs on to them and hurts them bad. They aint moving, my mates happy but did his back in and later found out he broke it. He wishes he never bothered with it and let them take what they wanted.

Currently if someone entered my house i would attack them with a large club, when you got small kids you cant risk it.

I would like to inflict as much pain as possible to any person or persons who threatened my family or invaded my home.
In reality I'd be out of breath before I got to the bottom of the stairs.

true greek. :)

Bizarely I got burgled last night - they took two rubbish cd players and left the good stuff behind. Only found out when I went downstairs this morning and found all the lights on and doors open etc. Forensics turned up and we found a knife - a bloody big knife - that he/they had left behind.

I was ok until I saw the knife - really freaked me out - and if they had threatened me with it I would not have hit out - probably just pooed myself tbh.

The good news is that I went to cash converters this morning on the off chance and there was one of my cd players, they've now arrested the bloke and he's in custody tonight.

Bloody frightening to be truthful though. Fucking knives should be banned.

FML - breaking news - they have only been able to caution him as they can only do him for handling stolen goods as they can't prove he actually came into the house, he's out and he's not happy - the police just rang me to tell me...marvellous.....bring back hanging!

god, hope everything is ok.

Any fingerprints on the knife?

Need a new choice of weapons bud as having these in your bedroom will see you straight off to prison.

Unless you're a plumber.

Or even covert plumbers.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_House_Plumbers

Hope you are ok? Please give me a bell if not, not too far away

probs right to be honest, swap the pipe with a hammer and say i was putting pictures up, not sure what i could replace the knife with. Obv rather never be in the situation where i have to use anything. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail..

Wouldn't feel comfortable with a knife to be honest.  If I felt the need to smack the intruder, I'd rather use a blunt instrument that I wouldn't have to hold back with and one that would be unlikely to kill them. With a knife it's too easy to injure someone very badly, and if they get hold of the knife...

A bat or stick that you can use in a confined space but gives you a bit of a reach advantage makes sense to me.  But like Stu said, something that would be reasonably expected to be lying around in your bedroom or wherever.

if i was a lady by myself like dingdell ( ia ssume) i would keep whatever i needed to feel safe.

Very true, you should have something that can be used as a weapon but would also be explainable as to why it would normally be in your bedroom. Anything you do with either the pipe or the knife would be seen as premeditated and you would be off to bummingsville  ;smackedbottom;

None - they wore gloves - as was demonstrated on the cd they REMOVED from my cd player before stealing it - apparently it wasn't to their taste....FML - not even a burglar likes my music! The CD showed glove marks but they couldn't get a print from them.

Just leaving to go pick the cd players back up. One of them was on sale at cash convertors for £14.99 - I only have quality stuff at my place!

Amazingly the man who runs the cash convertors shop was very pissed off with me for coming in and claiming my stuff - he is out of pocket to the tune of £7 and told the police he though it was unfair I was entitled to get my stuff back. I wasn't actually wanting it back (it's not exactly great gear) I went looking for it to find the oik who came into my house with a knife. tempted to get one of those enormous cheques made up for £7 and take a photographer from the local paper and present him with the cheque so he's not out of pocket....

I have a truncheon (relic from my stint in the police) by the bed but I'm relying on my very loud voice and fury to win the day if it ever happens again. I am seriously pissed off now and if I was to ever find out who this person was (he knows who I am and where I live which seems really one sided imo) I would be very tempted to run him over and I would enjoy looking at the whites of his eyes as he clung on to the windscreen wipers.

Sod the cash convertors man - he probably knew the fella and that the goods were knocked off and was happy to pocket the £7.  £7!!  Your CD was probably worth more than that (not if it was your Best of Westlife CD though).

At least you're OK, the material stuff - well that's immaterial really.

Isnt doing nothing at all, letting them get what they want, making them a cup of tea etc a good way to ensure they will come back next time theyre skint and need some cash.  House with some nice stuff and no fuss.

They should deffo be fair game once theyre in.

The cash converters guy sounds like an utter Knobhead. I'd probably let him have the truncheon, over the fkin head!

I don't think I'd ever advise a lady to attack a burgler with any weapon that's not a gun. I'd fancy most blokes in a fight with no weapon against a lady with a truncheon and you don't want to be attacked and hurt imo. Screaming and commotion sounds like a good tactic but you're better off only having the weapon for defence rather than approaching them, no?

I remembered when we were burgled as a kid and the whole house was turned upside down, was horrible. We got an alarm straight away but were advised if we didn't have one, to get a non operational alarm box put on the front of the house.

Surely it´s infinitely more desirable to get robbed than get seriously hurt/killed, leaving them to it is surely +ev. With some exceptions people who think they´d step in and give the robbers a good hiding/teach them a lesson would just end up endagering themselves and their family.

House being fair game >>>>>>> watching blood pour out my neck at an alarming rate

That truncheon's not for self defense..

Seriously though, hope you are ok Ding.

any women should invest in a rape alarm for a few quid. these things are loud as hell and no burglar is gonna hang around with one of these going off. i have cctv on my house which pretty much acts as a good deterent.

Lol at the dream world some people live in.

Do you realise that if you retaliate against a scumbag they'll just come back anyway and throw bricks through your windows, smash up your car and generally intimidate you.

Unless you're a proper bad ass mother fucker who'll go to town on them and scare the shit out of them you really need to leave them alone.

They are horrible people and should be avoided at all costs.

Making your house difficult to rob keeps these people away from you, not giving them a kicking.

As I said, if you can properly scare them then you're fine but 99% of Blonde members I know simply aren't capable of doing that.

In the ideal world if someone breaks in to your house and you catch them you get to beat them up and they never come back because you're such a hero.

In the real world you get your head caved in.

I should add that despite thinking we should avoid burglars I also think that they are fair game for a proper good hiding.

If someone is capable of smashing their faces in I think it's brilliant and the burglar deserves everything they get.

I just don't think it's worth the risk of said burglar coming back at a later date to inflict retribution.

Not so sure about this.

Most burglars are opportunistic thieves that will happen to stumble across your house and see a window open, a flimsy looking door etc and give it a go. They haven't been staking out your address and noting your every movement nor are they these bad ass scumbags who will do everything to get back at you.. in reality you will find that the majority of burglars are heavily addicted to drugs, of course this can make them more dangerous in some cases, but the majority of the time they are complete piss ants, also there is a good chance that they will be completely unable to remember where you live anyway. I seriously doubt the majority of junkies you see would be able to ‘cave your head in’
Apparently burglars like to travel light, with just a screwdriver in their pocket etc, I think the mere fact of you being prepared/able to present a larger weapon will be enough to scare them off.

Setting off your fire alarm if someone enters the house is a safe method to get them to leave.

The best thing by far is making sure your house is difficult to rob in the first place and get an alarm ffs.

But disagree with the “oh well I’m insured” line.

Edit: just seen your above post. Can't be bothered deleting this though. Not expecting for people to turn into superman, but you yourself will know if you are likely to come out on top or not.

i haz bars on all my windows and a spanner by my bed btw, gl burlars

99% of the time we get to keep the telly +$200 equity
1% of the time we die = -$1,000,000 equity

interesting ev calculation

1% die + 99% live the rest of your life in constant fear of it happening again < 1% die + 99% know you schooled them burglar bitches + keep the telly and +$200 equity.

those stupidly dangerous ones that mean you die if there's a fire?

Don't raise our hopes ;-) Joke obv Pleno1 x

i never thought of it like that.

i would sooner live in a house and leave my windows and doors wide open than live in a house with bars on the windows

are you in Jail?

I have a 6ft fence all the way around my garden and a 6ft iron gate.

I've got a hi tech burglar alarm and security windows and doors all round.

There's also a large snarling rottweiler who spends a lot of the time at the gate barking and growling at passers by.

If anyone gets past that lot I'm sure going to try stopping them.

Lol at the police's we can only get him for handling stolen goods and thats a caution.

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/handling/ (http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/sentencing_manual/handling/)

Cps sentencing guidelines appear to suggest Community order through to 12 weeks inside.

As for the Cash Convertors guy - I would be interested to see if you could get a Freedom of Information Act request from the police about how many times they had found stolen goods in there - sure Data Protection would not allow the information but would be interesting info.

I know I thought it was frustrating but I think they took into account it was his first offence etc etc. Not sure what happened to the £7 though - I think he got to keep it!

TBH I have great faith in the justice system here in the UK, I just hope it dawns on this individual that crime only pays £7 which is a rubbish hourly rate. I would have paid him more than that to come round and mow the lawn!

Do you think the knife he left behind was worth more or less than £7?

The courts are no deterrent. If they started to die on a frequent basis it would mean a decline in this type of crime for 2 reasons.

1. Many burglars are serial burglars. Each dead scumbag means far less crime.

2. The threat of death becomes an increasing deterrent as the number dead rises.

Would i do it ? Don't know. Do i think it's bad when someone else does it ? No. It's a great benefit to society imo.

Sandy

Lol @ -ve result!

I love the first offence argument.


Given the clear up rate of 12%, this is statistically this guy's 8th burglary!

Also, does anyone think that a caution is any deterrent for a burglar.

All that happens is that he has learnt not to sell the goods in Cash Converters in his home town. Next time he will simply sell them in the pub, or another town.

Wouldn't it have been simpler to let him go rather than escalate to a stage of stabbing? Did the family member do more than step in the way? - probably. And is the remedy to stab someone?

I hope he got a long sentance.

Actually makes a bit of sense....Years ago I went to Corfu, fantastic place at the time, but encountered locals who thought that 'English Meat' was there's to abuse. I stepped in once, in defence of an English young lady that was obviously not interested in the advances of 'Spiros' and was warned that 'they will stab you before fighting you'

Unfortunately we have let this 'culture' into our society and the results are only too clear.

Yeah, we were quite the green and pleasant land before the Corfuffians came along.

My Dad has told me that he has an air rifle by his bed and has done for years just in case. Until a few years ago he lived in the country in my great Aunts house and she was the subject of a very violent burglary where they tied her up and left her while they nicked all her jewellery. She never got over it.

My Dad recently took advice from a solicitor who told him it was ok to use his air rifle as long as they were shot facing him and not in the back! Not sure how the law would really look at this.....

air rifle might tickle them to death?

 id hope that they didnt know their guns and it made them run

Is 'highmile' the name of the dreamworld you live in? You do realise English tourists are amongst the most disrespectful holidaymakers there are?

He didn't get a long sentence* fwiw. This was many many years ago now though - I think my uncle served 18 months, possibly 12. The other uncle simply stepped infront of the door and refused to move until he was being beaten up. You see in Greece and Cyprus, we don't have many scumbags like this. People don't do runners without payin so to the old school greek generation this would have been fair game. It's why if you live in Greece and Cyprus you will feel safe and if you live in England you have to be very careful in many places.

Firstly, I would shit my pants. Secondly I would ask the Mrs. to ring 999. Then I would shout 'Oy' down the stairs and hope they go away. If that doesn't work, I'd hold a baseball bat in hand and cower in bedroom until they've left / come into the bedroom and I have to defend myself. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go for a head shot, maybe leg, then try and leg it out the house, popping the alarm on along the way. Meanwhile, I'd try to justify to the Mrs. as to why I'm so frightened when I'm meant to be protecting her and make a last ditch attempt to save face. Finally, I'd shit myself again.

Don't think anyone's that bothered about the xbox getting nicked; it's the thought that they might be a psycho that's more disconcerting.

it makes me laugh that if you belong to a theatrical society and paint it yellow then you can have a starting pistol and blanks...if i get caught with one by the police i can get 5 years.
q

pretty sure I know whose house I'm gonna burgle next time I'm in camden, gonna be so easy

Go dressed as a fox.

Ostrich would be worse to be honest.

(http://thefagcasanova.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/quick-response.jpg)

GTFI:

(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/fail-owned-burglar-fail.jpg?w=447&h=505)

This is clearly the best one of those:

(http://chachi.mysbrforum.com/photos/l/yyvetixw.jpg)

baahhahahaahh

"..injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing the marine."

rotflmfao

Loved that one, i worked over there at Fort Gordon, Augusta you don't wanna mess with them guys, fo sho. Can't drink for shit tho.

That may be one of the best things Ive ever read.

pure genius!

and thats how it should be too!

+1 comedy

My brother's a Marine and you're right on all counts...esp the drinking one!  lol

nh

Thats so incred, heros

i think..... you don't know what you would do unless it happens to you!!

about ten years ago i was walking out of my front door about to leave for work about 6am, when i noticed my car door open (on the drive)
all i could see was a pair of legs sticking out from the car,

i kicked the car door crushing his legs dragged him out from the car shouted to Mrs fish to ring the police whilst i kicked the shit out of the guy.

when the police arrived the first thing the police said was (to the thief) was has he hurt you?

WTF HE WAS IN MY CAR?
the guy.... give him his due said no he ain't touched me.

on his following arrest and search he was found with a knife..... what would of happened if i never immediately disabled him? me or him?

i have had one or two incidents over the years since and i keep a hickory pick axe handle under the stairs and i would 100 % use it on anyone that entered my house i have 3 kids and would protect them and Mrs fish by any means necessary.