blonde poker forum

"I know I am in front, call"

Although you know you are in front, but yet you call, not re-raise?

"Value"

Hate this at cash. Everyone is in pot for £15 you have 9/2 off & have to call.

"How much you got behind"

Not sure if I hate this, but there are numerous players who just say it, but aren't going to play their hand anyway. Time wasting obv.

I have to see where I'm at

They lost the flip and keep screaming 'but I was ahead' with a tear in their eye because they are tilted and you obviously made a terrible call.

Fuck you, shove your couple of % up your arse  ;D

"I knew you had that" or something along those lines. Normally happens after someone has paid someone off with an inferior hand. One of these days I am going to lose it when that happens.

When someone nudges you and makes a Sid James style comment about the dealer or valet, expecting you to be a knuckle-dragging flesh-ogler like them.

Made even worse when they are obviously in earshot.

"She's a bit better on the eye than that last dealer. Wouldn't even mind if she out-drew me!"

"Cor! Have a look at that!"

"Wouldn't kick her out of bed, eh?!"

No sir. No you wouldn't. I suspect primarily because even were Stephen Hawking right and a theoretically infitite number of alternative realities exited, there would be none in which you would stand a chance of engaging in any form of carnal activities with the object of your slobbering prose.

It annoys me on a number of levels.

Great thread :D

That's poker  ;grr;

"Can you please leave your seat sir, you have already been knocked out of the tournament"

C'mon dealer, give us some decent cards....

The very missed Jilly once turned her head slightly away from one such request and said, slightly under her breath, "there's no point in dealing you good cards because you wouldn't have a clue what to do with them"
There were a few adverbs and adjectives in there too.
I loved her even more for that.

Barry Neville classic:

"I just don't believe it"

'I would have won that pot' usually after a huge pot has played out to the river with two massive premium hands and the guy who speaks out had absolute junk.

The other one that riles me is 'this dealer always deals me sick bad beats' or something along those lines. It's usually said genuinely as if the dealer is doing some sort of black magic in the cards.

Referring to money as 'points'

Obv 'Thank You' or 'Sorry' when someone beats you in a pot

'Met'

'Get'

When someone says 'pwned' in person

I raise All of my betting discs

Surely not the Luke Schwarz v David Benyamine hand from the Premier League?

"In your eye David Benyamine, you arrogant guy. You think you can angle me? You just got so pwned."

It's completely unnatural but that's part of why it cracks me up.

+1

Four king x flops

Fucking six
Hahahahahahaha

Fk off

Huh huh Jack King Off huh huh

I really dislike players who berate dealers when they get unlucky, or sometimes even if they just lose. Also the ones that lose a pot and then hassle the valets for not bringing their drink/food quickly enough when they only have 90 other people to attend to.

That's probably the closest I get to hating anything, all the other stuff I just find pretty comical and just cringe for the people embarrassing themselves :D

"ear kid. Av a luk at these"

When I hear myself asking "what happened?"  after someone walks over after being knocked out of a comp. It's my own fault I then have to listen to at least one bad beat story...

Will you show me if I fold?

"Frankie, sit here and tell me all about it..."

lol. "I tell you Jason. Its sooooo sick Jason "

"Get in!!"" folowed by table bang by your opponent when you're all in. GIQ please

any expression which involves the words 'betting discs'

 Ship it. 

When people use poker terms to talk about every day life.

"We snap ordered a cab and turbo packed before getting on a plane to Hamburg for some de-genning".

No you didn't

You packed and went to Hamburg, had a beer and maybe played on a fruit machine.

"thought you were at it"

I do this a fair bit tbh. Although unlike girgy I do not say "Sigh" irl.

any pro asking to change the deck

Seat open for Ironside

'Are you rebuying or are you done for the night?'

Are you Celtics brother?

:)

At the end of the day, if you miss the flop, even a pair of deuces beats you.

AK is only Ace high at the end of the day.

I hate Aces, always get them cracked.

I hate Jacks.

Kings are ace magnets.


Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wins, class Milli.

 I really hate it when a recreational player, (that was for Keys), starts nudging you after the flop or on the turn when neither of you are in the pot.

 How do you tell them that we now all know that they passed a four and they should really stop doing that, not just this time but forever, without upsetting them?

Stop nudging me you daft twat. Normally works. Sometimes it's best to be cruel to be kind.

Yes - this is us.

(http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTgwNzYwNTQ0OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzk1ODcxMQ@@._V1._SY317_CR5,0,214,317_.jpg)

"You're not playing online now, kid", generally said while scooping a pot after winning a hand with the flopped nuts.

I don't really mind people saying "I hate jacks", "Ace King is only ace high at the end of the day" or "Ooh it's a race!". Perhaps I'm past anger and have moved to acceptance?

The online one just makes no sense tho!

"I'm folding the best hand here"




well don't ****ing fold it then   ;grr;

Always after an outdraw

"Sorry" - you are not sorry, you were begging for that one outer on the river!

"I was only shoving cause I wanted to go play cash/roulette/blackjack/slots" *delete as applicable- classic phrase

In PPUKT last Saturday I 3 bet with AA raiser calls, flop Axx and he comes out with the classic line

"Hah your Ace rag has hit wp"

Don't hate anything, all part of the wonderful live experience :)

"Me and Thee?" Said when a pot goes heads up. Dont know why tbh, just annoys me.

People that complain about the dealer really irate me (even when Im not playing). A dealer is just someone who sits there, shuffles cards and chucks them to you. Its not our fault someone decided to play their hand like a spanner. Oh and fwiw, I normally enjoy it when these people take horrific beats.

Also get annoyed by the "Its just Ace High" and "I hate (insert premium hand they lost yesterday with)". Tell you what sir, Ill take that instead of you for the rest our lives, and you can take my 23,24,25,26 and 2,7's

"Next time you raise my blind I will go all in"

Basically all of the above. My absolute least favourite though has to be the guy who bemoans his decision to fold J4 in a 4 bet pot when he would have scooped against 2 premiums on. JJ4xx board.

#zerolevelthinking

Can't say I hate it but I do laugh at - "you called me with that" and "Why didn't you raise pre flop"

And some good retorts firstly when they say "I knew you had that" ...so why did you call me then

And a beauty that I have used once and it seemed to tilt them was an answer to a totally different question

"How much you got behind"......not sure yet but I went to Spain last year and liked it so I might go back (then put your iPod on before they can ask again)

Think I've done that when you were dealing!

Some of this chat is for a.specific purpose. Most is just ignorance.

"I'll catch you next time"
"I knew you were at it, that's why I called pre"
"How much have you got behind? I put you all in" followed by them staring you down, refusing to drop eye contact. Why so intense?

Btw found a great tumblr site. Never fails to make me laugh:
http://lifewithfacecards.tumblr.com/

Edit: always hate it when people are oop and playing with their chips as if they are about to snap call you, to try and intimidate you into a check. I know its obvious info they are giving away, but ahh tilting

this or just 'I never fold my big blind'

good waste of an hour (Y)

I hate it when people blame dealers as well, but i hate it more then those same dealers then expect a tip. You either have no control over the cards or you have control, you can't have it both ways.

When people describe a dynamic with "he knows that I know that he knows..." Shut ya mouth!
Sometimes a valid description but it's one of those lines drip fed by tv poker.

<3 negreanu

Haha, its more the overuse of the phrase than the phrase itself.

Flushy, I personally dont expect a tip because I made you play the hand well or whatever, its more a tip for my services, which is normally done when winning a pot. I never EXPECT people to tip me, nor do I push it. If someone feels Im doing my job well, then they will tip me. Thats just the way imo

When people thay "Thats poker" I fell like I want to punch them in the face, even more when its a nob that really cant figger out that his 3 out was a good call for his hole stack.

'Thanks mate' when someone wins a big pot off you/busts you

tilts me so hard.

"One seat here"

Usually said in a loud voice before the poor unfortunate has had time to gather his belongings.

Wtf? People actually say that? That is pretty cringeworthy.

I read that and was about to write something


but Flushy has already covered it  :)up

Not a phrase, just one single word - "call" - I'm pretty much always bluffing :/

ha ha

When players call a straight a 'run'

Hate threads that hate poker related things

Trips v set.

Have we had "you were dealt aces" when someone comes back from the toilet yet?

Can I have your antes please.....
What are the blinds again please.....
Is that a raise or just a call......
I call, oh I did not see he had already raised.....
Oh sorry is it on me....

I blame the headphones

' Oh go on,let's gamble '.

"Are you that famous poker analyst/expert?"

Idiots in headphones asking what the action is. Again.

^^^^^^^^^^ up about 3 posts lol. Are you wearing sunglasses

Lol, classic.

Yoo f+++++g donk calls?? go play bingo.

Normally in the chatbox by some European with a vpip100.

Online - nh and ty.

I wouldn't object to someone being complimented on playing a hand well, but 'nh' is just a reference to the cards that he happened to be dealt, which is nothing to do with him. They even type it when the person was behind and sucked out.

And then then the other idiot says 'ty' just like someone has complimented them on their new hairstyle.

+1

Heard a couple last night:

"1 time" - said every other round.
"I had already made my mind up I wasn't folding whatever the action was" ~ this guy had a4 with 30bigs. Least he was true to his word an d he did indeed win the hand.

I often type  'nh wp' but rarely mean it to be taken literally...

I usually skip over anything you've posted so missed it  ;)

'So what is it you do for a living ? '

Part time business man and full time poker commentator and analyst!

i do fuck all and somedays I don't even get up and start doing that till after lunch time :)

when someone gets it in bad and loses , then gives a big YYYAAAAAAWWWWWWWNNNNN  oh im tired anyway.
5 hours later they are still there on fruit machine or playing kaloki

rail blonde and play online roulette with the occasional game of chess thrown in.

and author of buying Sh!t way of nit

+ 1 normally after they manage to crack your hand with junk

Reading this thread, It's a miracle anyone ever bothers anteing up to play this annoying game

+'s outweigh -'s

it annoys me as well.

There might be a few who are saying it ironically but I think you can tell the majority aren't.

'nh' particularly annoys me if a player folds before showdown and says it - how can you tell it was a nice hand when you didn't see my cards?
If they put 'wp' I wouldn't mind at all.


I think 'hate' in the title might be a bit excessive anyway - most of what people have posted itt are phrases they find mildly irritating rather than hate.

This annoys you??

When did you last hear it?


;)

ha ha. Yesterday was the first time in 6 months. Sat in between me and big Charra was a bloke who had already drunk 20 pints when I joined him at level 5. Pete had already been putting his antes in for him then I took over. Then he could not even get his blinds right and kept using the 5k chips instead of the 500.

Everytime Pete opened the big guy 3 bet him too which was amusing :)

less of a phrase I hate but more scenarios, like when you table your hand at showdown and villain says 'yeah I thought you were flushing' or 'I put you on that' or w/e but still have checked in game to give you a free cards!? wtf worst 'bluf'f reads ever?

and consistent hero folders, you raise pre, they donk into you on the flop you shove, they tank forever then fold on something like a JJ2 board saying they folded a jack!? because they thought you had a better kicker.....

even annoyed me a little writing this out.

1: "If you've got it, you're good"
2: "Nah, you're good"
1: "You got it then?"
2: "Nah"
1: "What you got?"
2: "Not much, you?"
1: "Nah"
2: "Me neither"
1: "What you got then?"
2: "What you got?"

Everyone else: "Just turn your bloody cards over!!"

"The re-entry period is still open Sir"

'I've got the.......'
   'the nuts'
   'the second nuts'
   'third pair'
   'fourth pair'
   'A high'

The immortal "backraise", although as it tilts everyone so much I'm starting to like it again.

I love it.

Yep, me too, but I am from the back raise era.

Hating poker phrases during a poker game.
Hating small talk from relative strangers trying to be nice.

Sounds like you are all on tilt!

Had one of those in a 150 six max at dusk earlier in the year. I'd made a play with 8-6 on a gut shot and missed. We checked the river and then had a standoff of "you're good" for about ten seconds. Eventually I said "I've got 8 high, mate" and with that he mucked.

Did not hate poker at that moment.

Had a four way pot once was in the big blind with 23o three callers.
Checked all the way two guys fold so i snap muck and small blind tables 23o. My last fast fold.
That whole you show no you show thing is boring though fully agree.

TAL what can i say? Loving life then.

"One pair? Whats your kicker? Interesting, I've got quads"

"What else can I do?"

"These young kids think they know everything"

I had top pair top kicker. Fucking cooler man

LOL , A*

"How can u call there?"

I mean, I am repping at least a set or straight/flush, everything got there and you still called??!?!

In my own head - that's because I obviously didn't believe you, hence why I called you with 2nd pair, which was good and I won the pot, build a bridge, get over it zzzzz

Half hour later "but how can u call?, I just don't get it?, it's ridiculous, your so bad, give up" zzzzz

lol. Really. I have heard you say that from many tables away then usually accompanied by a loud crack as you rip the hinges of the doors off as exiting :)

top top

Them saying "I have the Nuts"

I don't hate this, but it does annoy me a bit..."I put you all in"

Really?  No you don't.  You made a bet.  You may have me covered, but it's up to me what I do with my chips.

Not reading whole thread so apologies if it's been done...

You pull off a bluff that you think is certain to work.

They look like they're going to fold then check their watch...

"Call"

FML

having been sat at the same table for most of the day and being comfy there I hate really don't like it when Ryan/Gav says "Mr Amos, you're on the move"
Rather stay where i am even if I'm the meat in a Goulder/Keys/Rastafish/Wadey sandwich

Pretty sure I heard every single one of these this weekend

Not particularly a poker phrase but tilting for me nonetheless when I hear it at least 3 times per tournament:

"you married yet?"

like I have to explain my marital and childless status to all and sundry.

When you having kids?

haha  ;frustrated; I was gonna say that one too but didn;t want to come across as a complete whingebag. Yeah that one crops up every tournament too.  I don't mind people I know asking questions, but when complete strangers delve further and demand to know why I havent succumbed to the obvious shortfalls in my life (their opinions, not mine) then I get annoyed.

Apologies...but you know I was only being friendly   :)

Plus I did pay you a lot of compliments and show you my monster hand   :)

As pick up lines go it's surely better than 'how do you like your eggs in the morning?'; 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?'; 'get yer coat you've pulled' and much better than Herbie's #1, which of course you'd never hear 'eeeh you don't sweat much for a fat lass do ya'

So, when?

Lol @ "when you having kids" being a pickup line.

"So, how about we skip any of the small talk, dating and getting to know each other nonsense and go straight to fornication?"

Now you realise the entire of blonde is gonna give you this rub at the table  ;D

but Maria you're a woman and clearly not at poker for the mental stimulation.. you must just be one of those 'sharp' baby makers who's realised there is a drastically untapped resource in the poker playing market! :D

also - going to check up on your marital and child status next time for sure.

Kori, you have to get married before you grow a moustache like your yiayia and none of the good greek boys will want to know.
:)

Mis-read.

Lovely Fella last night on the £1/£1 cash, he came to the table and said the Phrase about 30 times ......"£60.00 Blind" was sad to see him slip over to the £2/£2 Omaha

What is there to hate about somebody saying £60 blind in a £1/£1 game?  It would be just like the good old days when we only had to sit down and people threw money at us.

So staying with the female take, as brought into the mix by Maria ;)

I don't hate anything much, people, phrases or anything but there's plenty of things that press my buttons for a brief period!

When I'm on an all male table and a new guy comes to sit down, puts his chips down, looks round the table, then says "Hiya darlin I'm John, what's your name?" to me only.

Poker's a level playing field at the start right? So why introduce yourself to the one female at the table? And why open the floodgates by calling me "darlin" when I'm going to then verbally destroy you, generally embarrass you and end up with you calling me a lesbian/man-hater/ball breaker or tranny?

Women that congratulate other women when they win a hand or come 90th in a comp by saying, Well done, doing it for the girls! Arghhhh

Just hated him moving tables

        (THE WELSH SHEEP SH^^^^R IS HERE )

        tilts me every time

The reverse of that is when a person who considers themself to be of the female gender (as we're being politically correct) is knocked out of a comp and leaves, there's always one idiot who has a comedy mock go at the person who knocked them out: "fancy knocking out the best looking person at the table!"

Usually followed by a quick glance at the dealer. "Best looking player, I mean. Sorry, luv"

ha ha. They are only jealous that they ain't getting any :)

I find this amusing, only because you did exactly this to me but a few weeks gone online! With some choice words thrown in too. Don't worry, I forgive you! I know you get emotional.

I was playing a live comp last night when I got asked to move tables. Arrived at my new table and this stunning woman caught my attention straight away. I was having a really enjoyable night and this table move was the cherry on the cake, I felt lucky to have such an attractive new table companion. So trying to play it cool I nervously introduced myself and asked her name as I sat down. Things went a bit blurry after that because she literally went berserk and verbally destroyed me in front of everyone. My face was bright red with embarrassment as she accused me of living in the stone age. The TD came over and thought it best that I moved.

At my new table there was another attractive lady that immediately stood out from the usual crowd of dribbling hairy gorillas. Still breathless from the commotion before I thought it best to play safe and ask about family matters and if she had kids. The safe homely approach you see. Well I can tell you that woman went ape-shit at me saying making such forward remarks made me a pig and I should be ashamed. My head was still spinning when she got knocked out so I tried to lighten the mood by saying shame the best looking player had gone. Well that went down like a lead balloon and all the guys stared at me in silence and a few tutted. Shit night in the end.

How did you manage to answer this question in two chunky paragraphs?  :)

This must be a level Mantis?  Why would you do either of those things?  I can't remember last time a bloke sat next to me and aksed me my name, introduced himself or asked about my family and children, so why should you?  I suggest you read "The Game" - it will strongly enhance your chat up lines and approach mate; a bit less Stone Age

I either got levelled so hard or you ARE living in the stone age.

"Hi everyone. I'm mantis"

Neat bit of whooshing going on here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z4m4lnjxkY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z4m4lnjxkY)

Wasn't even subtle though!

Nothing wrong with being a sheep shearer, but being W***H is a different matter

thanks Claypole.
http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=38720.0
:(

people who say the lower value card in their hand first

'I had king ace that hand'
'you fold ten jack?'

it's ace king and jack ten!!!

Seriously?

Weird how that only applies to broadway hands.

For instance, Id never say "ten nine of hearts".

If we ever meet, probs just call you a lezzer right off the bat

Standard Derby play, woman last night does the following

Unopened pot, raising button to 10 in a 50/1 game and both the blinds snap fold...

I enquire "Why so much?"
Woman replies "I have Jacks, I hate Jacks, 3 ways to play...bla bla zzz"

defo not a lezzer. I have been the victim of having to listen to guys "pressing her buttons for brief periods" whilst trying to get to sleep in the next room. Very traumatic :(

Call

That is really weird how I'd never say Jack Queen or King Ace, but with non-face cards it's natural to say either 4 5 suited  7 8 clubs or 86 spadesetc

Well, that's the order in which you count outside of New Year...

Whoosh?

5...4...3...2...1..

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIAKj3Gl1E


I think the only slightly tilty expression in this category would be the extremely rarely heard 'King Ace'.

woke up with

ha ha. Wadey said this everytime someone played a hand on the last Dtd stream :)

"Get up out of your seat sir, you may not have realised this, but you are no longer in the tournament"

People who fell the need to use (often wrongly) poker terminology such as talking about ranges at the table, often just highlighting their own insecurities about their game.