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Title: It's a conspiracy. Post by: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 11:37:06 AM Here is another one
You are having pasta you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing you never fail to cook too much therefore you buy another packet sooner Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: booder on January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 11:56:56 AM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles.
Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:04:56 PM Here is another one You are having pasta you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing you never fail to cook too much therefore you buy another packet sooner Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner? Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 12:09:06 PM Here is another one You are having pasta you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing you never fail to cook too much therefore you buy another packet sooner Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner? i never fail to cook too much. ever. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: booder on January 08, 2016, 12:09:30 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (ask an adult to do this as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out. You are welcome. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:11:06 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (ask an adult to do this as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out. You are welcome. Rub of the week. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:12:04 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:13:12 PM Here is another one You are having pasta you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing you never fail to cook too much therefore you buy another packet sooner Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner? i never fail to cook too much. ever. I'm in the same category :) ...but only if you cook more than you need you will buy a packet sooner. If you always eat what you cook then you wont need a new packet any sooner, you will need it at the right time :) Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:14:37 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. But how are you going to fry it in a cup? Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: Doobs on January 08, 2016, 12:42:13 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. But how are you going to fry it in a cup? +1, and surely then it just drops between box and cup instead. I usually crack them into a bowl and make scrambled eggs instead. Never leaves the table top that way. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 12:46:58 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. What difference does where you crack it make FFS? Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 12:48:26 PM Also, who wants to wash up an extra cup?
Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 12:49:06 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (ask an adult to do this as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out. You are welcome. I had no idea you were so proficient in the ways of Ketchup and Mayo - please stick to the fried onions and Salt Beef advice. You have met the adult that lives in my house? As if I am going to encourage her to play with knives. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: booder on January 08, 2016, 12:53:20 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. What difference does where you crack it make FFS? I refer the cantankerous gentleman to his previous remark re mess in inaccessible places. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:56:24 PM You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan. You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible. Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year. Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast. Coincidence? I think not. Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan. Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do. What difference does where you crack it make FFS? I refer the stubborn & cantankerous gentleman to his previous remark re mess in inaccessible places. FYP He'll never admit he is wrong. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: AdamM on January 08, 2016, 01:19:10 PM ALWAYS crack my eggs in a bowl before frying.
Easier to remove the inevitable bits of shell and allows me to reject any with broken yolk. Worth the extra washing up Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: AdamM on January 08, 2016, 01:20:50 PM Mmmmm, HP Brien Sauce and egg yolk mixed. Best taste in the world.
Gods, I'm starving. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 01:38:04 PM ALWAYS crack my eggs in a bowl before frying. Easier to remove the inevitable bits of shell and allows me to reject any with broken yolk. Worth the extra washing up Inevitable shell, busted yolk? What do you crack them with, a hammer? Shell is not inevitable if you crack it properly, and what pray happens to your 'rejected' eggs? Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: booder on January 08, 2016, 01:48:44 PM ALWAYS crack my eggs in a bowl before frying. Easier to remove the inevitable bits of shell and allows me to reject any with broken yolk. Worth the extra washing up Inevitable shell, busted yolk? What do you crack them with, a hammer? Shell is not inevitable if you crack it properly, and what pray happens to your 'rejected' eggs? Pancake time innit. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: MintTrav on January 08, 2016, 02:29:00 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. You don't stand them upside-down on the lid? Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: Tal on January 08, 2016, 02:34:23 PM Why is it men never get anything done?
Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: DMorgan on January 08, 2016, 04:40:29 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. You don't stand them upside-down on the lid? Surely everyone does this Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 09:14:01 PM Large "squeezable" sauce bottles. Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle. And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway. You don't stand them upside-down on the lid? Surely everyone does this Of course, but that last bit still don't come out. You squeeze the bottle and it just farts air and deposits no sauce at all. Title: Re: It's a conspiracy. Post by: DropTheHammer on January 09, 2016, 09:56:19 AM You stand it on top of the opened new bottle (overnight) you've bought and used a little before the old one gets too low to use.
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