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It's a conspiracy.
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Topic: It's a conspiracy. (Read 3687 times)
RED-DOG
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It's a conspiracy.
«
on:
January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM »
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg. This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Logged
The older I get, the better I was.
TightEnd
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #1 on:
January 08, 2016, 11:37:06 AM »
Here is another one
You are having pasta
you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing
you never fail to cook too much
therefore you buy another packet sooner
Logged
My eyes are open wide
By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
booder
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #2 on:
January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM »
Quote from: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg.
This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan.
Logged
Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
Nakor
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #3 on:
January 08, 2016, 11:56:56 AM »
Large "squeezable" sauce bottles.
Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle.
And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway.
Logged
Quote from: mondatoo on April 13, 2011, 09:14:50 PM
Shit post Nakor, such a clown.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
bobAlike
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #4 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:04:56 PM »
Quote from: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 11:37:06 AM
Here is another one
You are having pasta
you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing
you never fail to cook too much
therefore you buy another packet sooner
Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner?
Logged
Ah! The element of surprise
TightEnd
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #5 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:09:06 PM »
Quote from: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:04:56 PM
Quote from: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 11:37:06 AM
Here is another one
You are having pasta
you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing
you never fail to cook too much
therefore you buy another packet sooner
Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner?
i never fail to cook too much. ever.
Logged
My eyes are open wide
By the way,I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
booder
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #6 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:09:30 PM »
Quote from: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 11:56:56 AM
Large "squeezable" sauce bottles.
Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle.
And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway.
Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (ask an adult to do this as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out.
You are welcome.
Logged
Quote from: action man
im not speculating, either, but id have been pretty peeved if i missed the thread and i ended up getting clipped, kindly accepting a lift home.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr
tikay
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #7 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:11:06 PM »
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 12:09:30 PM
Quote from: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 11:56:56 AM
Large "squeezable" sauce bottles.
Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle.
And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway.
Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (
ask an adult to do this
as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out.
You are welcome.
Rub of the week.
Logged
All details of the 2016 Vegas Staking Adventure can be found via this link -
http://bit.ly/1pdQZDY
(copyright Anthony James Kendall, 2016).
tikay
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #8 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:12:04 PM »
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM
Quote from: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg.
This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan.
Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do.
Logged
All details of the 2016 Vegas Staking Adventure can be found via this link -
http://bit.ly/1pdQZDY
(copyright Anthony James Kendall, 2016).
bobAlike
Hero Member
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Posts: 5823
Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #9 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:13:12 PM »
Quote from: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 12:09:06 PM
Quote from: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:04:56 PM
Quote from: TightEnd on January 08, 2016, 11:37:06 AM
Here is another one
You are having pasta
you pour out the perfect amount for the meal you are preparing
you never fail to cook too much
therefore you buy another packet sooner
Surely by never cooking too much you don't buy a packet sooner?
i never fail to cook too much. ever.
I'm in the same category
...but only if you cook more than you need you will buy a packet sooner. If you always eat what you cook then you wont need a new packet any sooner, you will need it at the right time
Logged
Ah! The element of surprise
bobAlike
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Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #10 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:14:37 PM »
Quote from: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:12:04 PM
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM
Quote from: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg.
This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan.
Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do.
But how are you going to fry it in a cup?
Logged
Ah! The element of surprise
Doobs
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Posts: 16733
Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #11 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:42:13 PM »
Quote from: bobAlike on January 08, 2016, 12:14:37 PM
Quote from: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:12:04 PM
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM
Quote from: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg.
This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan.
Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do.
But how are you going to fry it in a cup?
+1, and surely then it just drops between box and cup instead.
I usually crack them into a bowl and make scrambled eggs instead. Never leaves the table top that way.
Logged
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RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
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Posts: 47395
Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #12 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:46:58 PM »
Quote from: tikay on January 08, 2016, 12:12:04 PM
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 11:46:18 AM
Quote from: RED-DOG on January 08, 2016, 11:31:21 AM
You take the first egg from the box. It's slightly difficult to get hold of it properly because only the top part is sticking up out of the carton, but your fingers are dry and you manage OK. You crack it into the frying pan.
You reach for the second egg.
This time your fingers are slightly wet from cracking the first egg but you still manage to lift it out of the box and hang on to it until the exact moment when it is over the 3in gap between the kitchen top and the cooker, then it slips from your grasp and falls, making a sticky mess in the most inaccessible place possible.
Does this happen every time? No, because then you would remember and be more careful, so it happens around once every third day, or about 100 times a year.
Does it happen when the egg box is full? No. It usually happens when there are only two eggs left in the box, so not only do you have to clean up an inaccessible mess, but you are left with just one egg to share between two slices of toast.
Coincidence? I think not.
Crack it into a cup instead of frying pan.
Well that's what any sensible, thinking person would do.
What difference does where you crack it make FFS?
Logged
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RED-DOG
International Lover World Wide Playboy
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Posts: 47395
Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #13 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:48:26 PM »
Also, who wants to wash up an extra cup?
Logged
The older I get, the better I was.
Nakor
Tinca Tinca
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Posts: 4023
Serve the spider
Re: It's a conspiracy.
«
Reply #14 on:
January 08, 2016, 12:49:06 PM »
Quote from: booder on January 08, 2016, 12:09:30 PM
Quote from: Nakor on January 08, 2016, 11:56:56 AM
Large "squeezable" sauce bottles.
Its impossible to get the last 6th or so out of the bottle.
And they are made of such low grade plastic when you drop them on the floor they split and make a mess anyway.
Add vinegar and shake the bottle, or cut the bottle in half (ask an adult to do this as knives can be sharp) and scrape residue out.
You are welcome.
I had no idea you were so proficient in the ways of Ketchup and Mayo - please stick to the fried onions and Salt Beef advice.
You have met the adult that lives in my house? As if I am going to encourage her to play with knives.
Logged
Quote from: mondatoo on April 13, 2011, 09:14:50 PM
Shit post Nakor, such a clown.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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