I was too accident prone to risk it.

I was once caught short out in the fens, not a tree or a bush as far as the eye could see, so I jumped down into a dike that would be deep enough to hide me once I had assumed the position.

Unfortunately when I landed at the bottom, Newton's first law came into play. I stopped, but the contents of my rectum continued on it's downward trajectory.

That was an uncomfortable journey home.

🤣🤣🤣

The more mature readers amongst you will no doubt remember Andrews Liver Salts. Well I saw some today, and they have lost the liver and are now just called, "Andrews Salts". What's that about, has liver become un PC, or has society become too genteel to be confronted by such a visceral word?

As far as I recall, Andrews Liver Salts was a laxative. The slogan on the tin was, "For inner cleanliness". The instructions read, "Add two tablespoons to a glass of water for constipation or one tablespoon as a refreshing drink". (The second option sounds a bit risky)

On the new pack, advice about of toilet activities has been replaced by, "For indigestion and upset stomach".

The "Refreshing drink" aspect has been dropped altogether.

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I used to love this as a refreshing drink. One spoonful obviously.

Morning all.

Huge thanks to everyone who sent their best wishes, it was much appreciated.

My heart attack, like most people's I suppose, came out of the blue. I mean I suppose it could have been expected, I have a terrible family history with 2 grandparents, my mam, dad, and two younger brothers all having had one. But unlike most of them, I had no other risk factors. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no diabetes, non-drinker, no fags this century. I sleep well, and I'm rarely stressed, (Unless I've been golfing with tikay, but that's another story)

So there I was at about 3 in the afternoon, sitting on the settee, sport on the telly and the laptop open. I had just entered a $25 bounty hunter and a $15 freezeout, (I usually play $5 or $11 max so quite high stakes for me)

Suddenly... CRUNCH! Pain like an enormous pair of pinchers squeezing my chest, and even more pain shooting down both arms.

I knew immediately what was happening, and I knocked on the bathroom door where Mrs Red was cleaning..

Me: I'm having a heart attack.

Her: I'm having a heart attack who?

I quickly convinced her that I wasn't joking and she dialled 999. They told her that it would be quicker to take me to the hospital than to wait for an ambulance. We recruited our eldest daughter as driver and off we went, me doubled up in the rear foot well, Mrs Red on the seat brushing my hair soothingly with her foot.

We had a choice between The Royal hospital in Leicester, or the George Elliott in Nuneaton. We chose the GE because it's smaller and usually less busy.
When we got there A&E was absolutely rammed, every seat taken, people sitting on the floor, a long queue at the admissions desk..
I staggered past the queue and grunted, "Heart attack" to the nurse behind the glass.

The NHS is totally wonderful and I love it to bits. It's also teeth-shatteringly infuriating and I could run amok with a sledgehammer, smashing everything to pieces.

At this point, the wonderful part kicked in, a porter appeared with a wheelchair and whizzed me off to a cubicle where I was hooked up to an ECG machine, had a cannula inserted, blood taken, was given tablets, injections, and had stuff squirted under my tongue. In no time the pain started to ease, going from an 8/10 to about a 4 in a few minutes.

Presently, Mrs Red, who had been giving my details to the nurse at the desk arrived and asked what was happening. The doctor told us that I had been treated for a heart attack because of my symptoms and the ECG indications and they were now waiting for the results of my blood test. They were looking specifically at troponin levels. Troponin is a protein that is released into the bloodstream when the heart muscle is damaged. If the count is over 6 that means it's elevated. Mine came back at 38.
"Wow!" I said, 38, what happens now?"
They assured me that 38 wasn't particularly high, but that they needed to measure it again in 2 hours because if there is damage, it would continue to increase for 12 hours.

The next reading was 577. At this point, the teeth shatteringly infuriating NHS took over.


TBC.

So very sorry to read this Tom. Sending much love.

Was just a scratch Mo  😁

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Great photo. Which one is Compo. 🤣

Went to Lytham on Thursday to see the brilliant Steve Cradock show, Travellers tunes. For those unfamiliar Steve is a founder member of Ocean Colour Scene, plays with Paul Weller and also a producer of other artists.

On stage with him were his very talented son and wife.

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https://x.com/grosvenorpoker/status/2053635480818716808?s=46

Not sure why I felt that this was the right place to post this, but here you go.

Cheeky Celtic 🤣 We were all rooting for Lillian in tbe chat.

How very sad, such a positive contributer to Blonde over the years. RIP Supernova, thoughts with family and friends. 😪

I've been very hit and miss these last few rounds but I'm obviously on the cusp of greatness.

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Ralph has gone beyond the cusp. He'll be shooting his age soon.


I'm currently off 21.7. See you Monday.

Some nice rounds there Tom, be in the teens before you know it.

Great shooting Eck. Our course condition is very good and improving each day.

Shot 94 today in the seniors competition but unfortunately had x4 3 putts.

Booked a series of lessons starting next week and going to upgrade my 22 year old golf clubs.

Kev, sorted.

Thank you Tikay.

Can someone delete the two posts above. Tried to edit but clearly not correctly. Then delete this request TYIA

I like the two posts above

It nearly proves Kev isn't a robot

Almost Trev, almost. 🤣🤣

Memory of our recent Dad and Son golf trip to Ireland. 😍

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I was horrendous on Saturday in the medal. Lost my swing completely and played absolutely clueless almost embarrassing golf. I am a bit of a tinkerer with my golf swing in the endless search for something close to perfection and sometimes the new swing ideas seem to erase a basic fundamental, as there's only room in my skull for so many swing thoughts, and on Saturday I was topping fairway woods which are usually my favourite clubs, and smothering all of my iron shots, even short irons - it was the stuff of nightmares and I couldn't figure out how to fix it at the time. Returned a 95 net 80 with breaking 100 the only bright spot.

I remembered the fundamental that had temporarily slipped my mind today and shot a soothing 85 off the yellows which included a few 3putts, but it came as a great relief to dispel Saturday's horror-show as I feared I might play like that for evermore in some kind of Greek mythological golfer's Hades.

A couple of days off now to do chores etc. then it's the first Senior Medal on Thursday.

I'm reading this Ralph and laughing. Not at you it was about exactly what I was going to post. Saturday medal started off fine again par first 4 (but really feeling I've not hit the ball well). Then it all kicked in tops, chunks the lot. It was really windy but was honestly standing over it with no idea what I was trying to do ended up with a 92. Played on Monday morning with a fresh head and again started ok birdie at first but it went sour again. Played some nice shots got another birdie and should have had at least one more but the bad ones are all doubles or triples. The ground is still quite wet and some dodgy lies when missing greens so hoping the nicer weather brings a bit firmer turf and grassier lies.

Kev, trip looked amazing seen all the pics and videos of FB was only slighlty jealous honest

Tony that's some shady behaviour, its a game for gentlemen don't you know. Thought I'd strayed back in to a poker thread there with the talk of odds and stories of angle shooting 

Thanks Eck, still buzzing after playing those beautiful couses with my lovely and talented son.

What about me though? I played to the wrong green.

Idiot. Hoodwinked. Like being outwitted by Dick Dastardly. Hang your head in shame 🤣🤣🤣

Great shooting today Ralph, glad you turned it around. Golf is an addictive, frustrating bugger of a game. I'm playing tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday because next week I'm away for 7 days and need an extra fix to survive.