Health Question and Answer

[AdamM]

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
 
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
 
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.   


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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
 
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
 
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
 
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
 
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
 
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
 
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
 
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
 
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
 
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
 
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to  skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride

[littlemissC]

 

[allym]

Class! You could easily become PM wi chat like that!

[byronkincaid]

I'm sure I read somewhere ages ago that animals have a rough maximum lifetime amount of heartbeats but not humans for some reason, but I've always raised an eyebrow at the amount of sports people who seem to die pretty young. I may just be imagining this or I don't register the athletes who live until they're 100 or whatever so this post reminded me and I did a quick google and came up with this;

If you exercise, you will develop athlete's bradycardia (lower resting heart rate) and will "use up" your allotment of beats more slowly, thereby adding years to your life. If you exercise too much, however, the extra beats you use will exceed the number you save by having a lower resting heart rate. You will die sooner. At least that's the hypothesis, if you believe it.

The scientists who proposed this hypothesis performed some very complicated mathematics to determine that the optimal amount of daily exercise time to gain the maximum number of years is 22 minutes, resulting in a 6% increase in years of life. The break even point is 97 minutes. This means that if you exercise more than 97 minutes a day, you are actually taking away years of your life. By the way, this hypothesis has not been proven

http://www.ultracycling.com/training/ultra_health.html

[madasahatstand]

I'm sure I read somewhere ages ago that animals have a rough maximum lifetime amount of heartbeats but not humans for some reason, but I've always raised an eyebrow at the amount of sports people who seem to die pretty young. I may just be imagining this or I don't register the athletes who live until they're 100 or whatever so this post reminded me and I did a quick google and came up with this;

that will be the steroids