Joke

[Sunday8pm]

I like that one Highstacks

[Colchester Kev]

that is unacceptable... its not right to cast policeman as marriage wreckers.

Also, you should thank your lucky stars that you arent a policeman, they cant help what they are


ps. it was a good one



How about this...

An old man was sitting on a bench at the park. A teenager sat down next to him.
He had spiked hair that was red, orange, yellow, green,
blue and violet.
The old man stared.
Whenever the teen looked at the old man, he was staring at him.

Finally, the teenager said sarcastically: "What's the matter old man ... never done anything wild in your life?"

Without missing a beat the old man replied :" Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was Just wondering if you were my son."

[Trace]

[matt674]

On behalf of all the Zebra members of blonde, I object to that......

Why,  that is a funny one.  It isn't offensive.  I was going to tell a monkey one, but I didn't want to risk upsetting matt

Fire away squire, after all i regularly yank your chain about being from the outskirts of known civilization............

p.s. under all this fur we're quite thick skinned

[RED-DOG]

Ambulance crews, paramedics, firemen, etc are amongst the most caring of people, but they use black humour to get them through the day.

 I know a pollice woman who is attached to a RTA unit. One day she attended an incident where the severed head of a young man was found on a railway embankment. She was absolutely horrified, but as she picked it up by the hair, she thought it looked like someone who was wanted in connection with a spate of burgularies. "Does this look like Mr X to you?" she asked her colleague. "No" he replied, deadpan, "He was taller"

This joke would never have been made in the presence of the man's relatives, just as the Heather Mills joke was never intended for her to hear.

I have to admit that I do find black humour funny sometimes, but I also feel guilty if I am taken to task about it.

The truth is, we all have different ideas about what's funny, and what crosses the line. We all have different tabbos depending on our experiences. Like most people, I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

On an open forum, the chances are that you will offend someone.

[tikay]

How is is that Tom articulates his thoghts so much better than most of us?

[Sark79]

Ambulance crews, paramedics, firemen, etc are amongst the most caring of people, but they use black humour to get them through the day.

 I know a pollice woman who is attached to a RTA unit. One day she attended an incident where the severed head of a young man was found on a railway embankment. She was absolutely horrified, but as she picked it up by the hair, she thought it looked like someone who was wanted in connection with a spate of burgularies. "Does this look like Mr X to you?" she asked her colleague. "No" he replied, deadpan, "He was taller"

This joke would never have been made in the presence of the man's relatives, just as the Heather Mills joke was never intended for her to hear.

I have to admit that I do find black humour funny sometimes, but I also feel guilty if I am taken to task about it.

The truth is, we all have different ideas about what's funny, and what crosses the line. We all have different tabbos depending on our experiences. Like most people, I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

On an open forum, the chances are that you will offend someone.

 


I liked the joke Highstack 

[Highstack]

How is is that Tom articulates his thoghts so much better than most of us?

I would suggest that he is more intelligent, but someone will probably accuse me of being 'anti thick people'!

[Sark79]

 

[Mr F]

Good post Red.  This thread has had me thinking.

My mate had a horrific incident on the weekend.  Basically he had been out and was jsut eating some fried chicken and chips when a girl comes up and nicks one from him.  Anyway one thing leads to another and she invites him back to hers.  They got to the front door and she collapsed and died.  Suspected heart attack.  

he told me yesteray in the pub.  I'm surprised he was even there.  Thing was the way he dealt with it was by making jokes.  I won't put anything on here, but suffice to say I felt a little uncomfortable.  But that was his way of dealing with a terrible situation, there was no harm meant by any of the comments any of us made but we had to try and help him in some way.

[stallyon]

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowboys, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars." The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy. Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy." Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this." Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand." But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this." So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh my God! we're going to be millionaires!"

[Colchester Kev]

Good post Red.  This thread has had me thinking.

My mate had a horrific incident on the weekend.  Basically he had been out and was jsut eating some fried chicken and chips when a girl comes up and nicks one from him.  Anyway one thing leads to another and she invites him back to hers.  They got to the front door and she collapsed and died.  Suspected heart attack.  

I'm waiting for the punchline here ...

[Mr F]

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Quote from: Mr F on Today at 04:07:13 pm
Good post Red.  This thread has had me thinking.

My mate had a horrific incident on the weekend.  Basically he had been out and was jsut eating some fried chicken and chips when a girl comes up and nicks one from him.  Anyway one thing leads to another and she invites him back to hers.  They got to the front door and she collapsed and died.  Suspected heart attack. 





I'm waiting for the punchline here ...

'Fraid not mate, true story.  Just seemed to fit in with what Red said.  I don't joke about stuff like that, but under the circumstances it seemed like the only thing to so.  I think if he had sat there being all depressed about it he would have a breakdown.

He had only just met the girl so didn't know her parents or friends or anything, but like Red said we/he would never have said stuff in front of them.

[Rod Paradise]

Gallows Humour is how many people deal with such things Mr F.

I can imagine the comments that would come out though.... tempted to post some that come to mind - but that might be a bit sick.