Dear Dell,
I am writing to request a replacement monitor. Once i explain the circumstances in which my current monitor was damaged I am sure you will accede to my request.
Playing heads up poker yesterday, i was getting my ass handed to me on a plate as usual. It's a shame that I can't seem to win as I was once told by a very famous player
"Flushie, with a lot of practice, the right bankroll and a 200% rakeback deal, I am confident that you can, one day, become a break-even player."
Anyway, back to the fate of my monitor. After finding myself in a game with an idiot-proof chip lead of 49-1, i discovered that idiot-proof is not the same as fish-proof and managed to blow my lead in spectacular fashion. I was muttering obscenities and flapping my gills around in consternation when i saw two little letters in the chat box. "gg"
gg.....GG.....GOOD GAME WAS IT?
? No IT WAS NOT A GOOD *??!!!! GAME! I CAN'T BELEIVE I'VE BLOWN ANOTHER CHIP LEAD FFS OMG GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
.....during my little outburst i was gesticulating with my fins in a highly agitated manner. In the process of this, a fin connected with the mug of coffee i keep by the side of my comp.
it began to fall....
The next few events happened in slow motion. I shot one of my fins out to grab the mug. As I did so, momentum brought my head forward. I caught the side of the mug, but unfortunately the hot liquid split all over me and the pain of this made me forget that my head was about to connect with my monitor. half a second later there was the sound of breaking glass and fizzling electricity as the inevitable collision occurred and I found myself in the embarrassing position of being on my knees with my head buried deep inside my monitor.
SO, i wish to request a new monitor. You might argue that the demise of my previous monitor was my own fault. A sad situation brought about by my abysmal heads up play, lack of co-ordination and overall muppetry.
I wish to claim a new monitor based on just one premise.
...that all the above occurred purely as "AN ACT OF COD"
I look forward to your response.
Royal "THE VALUE" Flush.
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