I managed to injure myself at home on my own today before I had even had a glass of wine.
Having watched the mighty gooners put on a bravura exhibition which filled me with joy I got up with a cup of tea in one hand and the remote control for the telly in the other. Unfortunately I caught my foot on the small table leg and stumbled trying not to spill the half empty cup of tea and put out my other(right) hand to save myself on the coffee table. Unfortunately I was holding the remote in this ahand and although I did try to rectify my balance by grabbing at the coffee table, the fact that I had the remote in this hand and the Observer on the table which is made up of several glossy magazines which slid forward under pressure I ended up whacking my face on the side of the table as well as grazing my leg in two places on the small table, briusing my side and shoulder and spilling the tea all over the front room. Heaven knows what my downstairs neighbours thought !
I then went into the freezer in the kitchen to get the frozen peas to soothe my grazed leg and cut face and spilt them all over the kitchen floor
I will not relate the story of my PLO exploits later on on 'stars, suffice to say things did not improve, although there may be an argument that my looks have
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