Hey Suzanne:
A brave post. I really feel for you.
I too have looked into the abyss. Not for quite a while now but I remember it well like it was only yesterday.
A few words of encouragement....
Asking for help - especially publicly - even amongst forum friends - is a great sign of your willingness to do something to get out what sounds like a losing vortex. You do need to do something, probably several things very differently if you want to break out of that.
I would like to try to help if I can. Look me up at the Western on Tuesday if you fancy a chat. No problem if you don't.
For what it's worth....I had a life changing piece of advice about 18 months ago from someone who knows a thing or two about winning poker. I didn't get it at the time. I found it quite annoying actually (mainly because I just wanted to get on with the next hand) but for some reason I decided to follow it. He suggested I stop playing poker for at least a week and think about one question and work out the correct answer for me. He said why do you want to play poker? He said you'll answer this and get it wrong several times before you work out the right answer. He was right. I never looked back. The reason I never looked back was once I knew why I wanted to play, the things I needed to do to enjoy myself (note: NOT the same as the things I needed to do to get better at poker - although they were natural consequence) became obvious.
I appreciate this might sound like a lot of 'know thyself' type crap. I thought that too.
Happy to talk anytime.
The Thistle
I like this advice a whole lot...........now excuse me whilst I go away and find my belly button......judging by the size of my stomach it may take some years. Typical of the man that he has only just signed up and already adding value....hats off to you sir
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