I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away
Ahh! A litterbug eh?
Whilst we're on the subject of 'strange things to wipe your arse with', someone on another forum I read told of the time he was at a music festival and, whilst trudging across a field, saw an odd looking piece of crumpled paper lying in the grass. He picked it up, looked at it, and then quickly dropped it, as it was clear that, caught short without the desired toilet paper, some woman had resorted to wiping her arse with her driving licence.
When I was a boy I was caught short during game of cowboys and Indians. I retired to the underside of the nearest large laurel bush to relieve myself. As I crouched there, doing my business, I noticed that there was a discarded gas-cooker sitting next to me, and from it's side there protruded a very soft looking cotton wool like substance. How was I to know that it was fibreglass, and that a handfull was like a billion microscopic needles?
When I emerged from the bush moments later, my playmates could be forgiven for thinking that I had defected to the side of the Indians, after all, I was doing a fantastic war cry.
I hope you have managed to move on from this incident now. That is one of the funniest things I've read all week. Do you have nightmares when ever you insulate your loft?!
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