The mysteries of fifties

[Claw75]

i put a handful in circulation last time I came back from Vegas

Is that a euphemism?

hmm....could have been worded a little better!

[Simon Galloway]

If you get a fake £20 note I suppose you're straight round to the police station, are you? 'Oh well, £20 out of pocket for me'.

err no.  I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away, chalk it up to experience.  I certainly wouldn't make someone else suffer as a result.  Dishonestly passing on the £20 drops you to the same level as the original crook.

[RED-DOG]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

[KingPoker]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

feel sorry for the little kid who then comes along and finds it on the floor.

[RED-DOG]

I can't believe it, spreading disease like that, worse than passing dodgy £20s.

[tikay]

I can't believe intentionally passing on dud notes is right....I hope that was a joke.

Isn't it a bit like having your car stolen and thinking "well I'm not losing out, I will go and steal someone else's" ? 

I don't think that analogy works Simon.

If I copped for a dud £20 note, given the bad experience I had originally, I'd certainly not take it to the Police. Nor would I pass it to my window-cleaner, man who cuts my grass, or milkman. I'd have no hesitation, though, in paying for goods at a Sainsbury's or Tesco's with it. And would Sainsbury's or Tesco's take it out of circulation? I doubt that, too. The dud would continue to circulate for the life of any Banknote, then end up in the furnace at the Bank of England, along with all the regular banknotes. I have no problems with that at all. And if a High Street Bank spotted it during it's life, they'd have to deal with it properly, I'm sure, but they can afford to, as they continue to rip off their customer base for the few years left before they get rumbled.

My original experience has dictated my thinking here. I was running a D-I-Y shop, & one guy made 4 purchases over a morning, all for low-value items, all with a £20 note. I sussed him before the 4th transaction & shooed him away, first taking note of his Car Reg, & then clocking his face good & proper.

I closed the shop, drove to the Cop Shop, & had to wait in the waiting room for an hour. Eventually a DC took a statement from me, huffing & puffing & sighing all the time then refused to give me a receipt for the 3 x £20 notes I'd given him.

I then got an earholing from my Boss for closing the shop for 2 hours & I had to make good the £60 which was missing from the till.

Never again! Sainsbury's is the answer, & I shall continue to sleep soundly.

[AndrewT]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

Whilst we're on the subject of 'strange things to wipe your arse with', someone on another forum I read told of the time he was at a music festival and, whilst trudging across a field, saw an odd looking piece of crumpled paper lying in the grass. He picked it up, looked at it, and then quickly dropped it, as it was clear that, caught short without the desired toilet paper, some woman had resorted to wiping her arse with her driving licence.

[RED-DOG]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

Whilst we're on the subject of 'strange things to wipe your arse with', someone on another forum I read told of the time he was at a music festival and, whilst trudging across a field, saw an odd looking piece of crumpled paper lying in the grass. He picked it up, looked at it, and then quickly dropped it, as it was clear that, caught short without the desired toilet paper, some woman had resorted to wiping her arse with her driving licence.

When I was a boy I was caught short during game of cowboys and Indians. I retired to the underside of the nearest large laurel bush to relieve myself. As I crouched there, doing my business, I noticed that there was a discarded gas-cooker sitting next to me, and from it's side there protruded a very soft looking cotton wool like substance. How was I to know that it was fibreglass, and that a handfull was like a billion microscopic needles?

When I emerged from the bush moments later, my playmates could be forgiven for thinking that I had defected to the side of the Indians, after all, I was doing a fantastic war cry.

[KingPoker]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

Whilst we're on the subject of 'strange things to wipe your arse with', someone on another forum I read told of the time he was at a music festival and, whilst trudging across a field, saw an odd looking piece of crumpled paper lying in the grass. He picked it up, looked at it, and then quickly dropped it, as it was clear that, caught short without the desired toilet paper, some woman had resorted to wiping her arse with her driving licence.

When I was a boy I was caught short during game of cowboys and Indians. I retired to the underside of the nearest large laurel bush to relieve myself. As I crouched there, doing my business, I noticed that there was a discarded gas-cooker sitting next to me, and from it's side there protruded a very soft looking cotton wool like substance. How was I to know that it was fibreglass, and that a handfull was like a billion microscopic needles?

When I emerged from the bush moments later, my playmates could be forgiven for thinking that I had defected to the side of the Indians, after all, I was doing a fantastic war cry.

Ouch, very Ouch!

We usedd to call it itchykoo in site. Great for practical jokes though!

<heave at andrew's story>

[Simon Galloway]

I don't think that analogy works Simon.


Never again! Sainsbury's is the answer, & I shall continue to sleep soundly.

I didn't think it was a great analogy either Tony.  It was 4 a.m. though!  I guess what I mean is that having felt turned over, I wouldn't be looking to then turn someone else over.  Not sure that picking on large companies rather than the gardener makes it any more acceptable either, their ability to "afford it" doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't do it, in my humble view.

However, if you do want to pass off a few dud 20's then I would imagine your local casino would be as fair a bet as any.  If you get your notes refused, simply jump and scream and say that the notes are ones that you got paid out with at the cash desk earlier.  You would probably have a better success rate than if you get refused in Tescos.

But I wouldn't do that either.

[kinboshi]

I'd probably just wipe my arse on it and throw it away

Ahh! A litterbug eh?

Whilst we're on the subject of 'strange things to wipe your arse with', someone on another forum I read told of the time he was at a music festival and, whilst trudging across a field, saw an odd looking piece of crumpled paper lying in the grass. He picked it up, looked at it, and then quickly dropped it, as it was clear that, caught short without the desired toilet paper, some woman had resorted to wiping her arse with her driving licence.

Was she a minger?

[AndrewT]

I don't think that analogy works Simon.

Never again! Sainsbury's is the answer, & I shall continue to sleep soundly.

I didn't think it was a great analogy either Tony.  It was 4 a.m. though!  I guess what I mean is that having felt turned over, I wouldn't be looking to then turn someone else over.  Not sure that picking on large companies rather than the gardener makes it any more acceptable either, their ability to "afford it" doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't do it, in my humble view.

If your world view is black and white then it's exactly the same. However, the real world is rarely black and white - there are shades of grey, and Tesco is a lighter shade than the gardener.

[KingPoker]

Every little helps!

[tikay]

I just know this. I'm generally as honest as they come, & would not dream of fobbing the notes off onto the gardener or window-cleaner. They are Bert & Mavis, & are real people. Tesco, I really ain't bothered about. But I think - think, because I'm unsure - that what we have here is a victimless crime. If we all say nothing, the note just continues to circulate until it's worn out. And nobody suffers.

It's actually a very good point Simon has made, & I can't really explain why, in this instance, I don't see the problem. Except as I've tried to explain.

[AndrewT]

I just know this. I'm generally as honest as they come, & would not dream of fobbing the notes off onto the gardener or window-cleaner. They are Bert & Mavis, & are real people. Tesco, I really ain't bothered about. But I think - think, because I'm unsure - that what we have here is a victimless crime. If we all say nothing, the note just continues to circulate until it's worn out. And nobody suffers.

It's actually a very good point Simon has made, & I can't really explain why, in this instance, I don't see the problem. Except as I've tried to explain.

Technically, counterfeit money (even if never identified as such) increases inflation, and therefore reduces the value of everyone's genuine money by a miniscule amount.

But given how Gordon Brown has been running the Bank of England presses on overdrive for years to prop up the US economy, a few hooky tenners aren't going to have much of an effect.