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New Golf Book
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Topic: New Golf Book (Read 1388 times)
RioRodent
Hero Member
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Posts: 1006
New Golf Book
«
on:
March 02, 2012, 07:21:31 PM »
You may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last couple of year’s putting my thoughts and ideas together into a book. I am very proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I am asking friends and family to assist.
The book is on golf and I believe it gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my years of experience.
The book is only £4.95 and can be ordered by simply replying to this email with the appropriate credit card info.
Highlights include:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Marshall the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 10- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 11- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 12- When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever
The book also includes the latest GOLF TERMS
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
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£10 to £10k Challenge
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!
bobby1
Hero Member
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Posts: 9573
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #1 on:
March 02, 2012, 07:25:33 PM »
lol.
Can I suggest
A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
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“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
sweet potata!
Hero Member
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Posts: 2543
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #2 on:
March 02, 2012, 07:28:52 PM »
A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
Should be Dennis Wise!
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leethefish
Hero Member
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Posts: 4692
winners never quit quitters never win
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #3 on:
March 02, 2012, 07:30:15 PM »
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http://www.ljwcarpenter.co.uk
http://alzheimers.org.uk/
www.ageuk.org.uk/
If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two impostors just the same......yours is the Earth and everything that's in it...And - which is more --you'll be a Man, my son.
marcro
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Posts: 1154
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #4 on:
March 02, 2012, 07:39:16 PM »
Also for a putt that stops just short - A Cuban - one more revolution.
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ManuelsMum
Hero Member
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Posts: 1163
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #5 on:
March 02, 2012, 08:11:30 PM »
Quote from: bobby1 on March 02, 2012, 07:25:33 PM
lol.
Can I suggest
A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever, possible unexpected water hazard
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
Logged
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
ACE2M
Hero Member
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Posts: 7832
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #6 on:
March 03, 2012, 09:30:46 AM »
Quote from: bobby1 on March 02, 2012, 07:25:33 PM
lol.
Can I suggest
A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
A Sally Gunnel, Ugly but a good runner.
Logged
JK
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 2565
Probably the worst player here
Re: New Golf Book
«
Reply #7 on:
March 03, 2012, 10:08:37 AM »
Love it lol. Heard some of the phrases on the course, but the chapters one is just classic
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