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Author Topic: New Golf Book  (Read 1379 times)
RioRodent
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« on: March 02, 2012, 07:21:31 PM »

You may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last couple of year’s putting my thoughts and ideas together into a book. I am very proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I am asking friends and family to assist.

The book is on golf and I believe it gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my years of experience.

The book is only £4.95 and can be ordered by simply replying to this email with the appropriate credit card info.


Highlights include:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 5 - When to Give the Marshall the Finger

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management

Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.

Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 10- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

Chapter 11- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

Chapter 12- When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever



The book also includes the latest GOLF TERMS



A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O. J. Simpson - got away with it

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

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£10 to £10k Challenge

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!
bobby1
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« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2012, 07:25:33 PM »

lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
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“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
sweet potata!
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« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2012, 07:28:52 PM »

A Diegio Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer


Should be Dennis Wise!
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leethefish
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« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2012, 07:30:15 PM »

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   If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two impostors just the same......yours is the Earth and everything that's in it...And - which is more --you'll be a Man, my son.
marcro
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« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2012, 07:39:16 PM »

Also for a putt that stops just short - A Cuban - one more revolution. 
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ManuelsMum
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« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2012, 08:11:30 PM »

lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever, possible unexpected water hazard
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.
Cheesy
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me i didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.
J Lennon
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« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2012, 09:30:46 AM »

lol.

Can I suggest

A Paula Radcliffe, just runs forever.
A Sally Gunnell, an ugly little runner.

A Sally Gunnel, Ugly but a good runner.
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JK
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Probably the worst player here


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« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2012, 10:08:37 AM »

Love it lol. Heard some of the phrases on the course, but the chapters one is just classic
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