News Headlines

Some headlines we see in the news are just way too funny. Not sure if they're meant to be but they do make me laugh:

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Air Head Fired
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Deer Kill 17,000
War Dims Hope for Peace
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply