Homeless people, and morality.

[Josh]

Today I spent 1 and a half hours talking to a homless person I met.
Personally I understand why they drink or do drugs do help with their existance but also understand those who disagree with it.
I offered said person a place to sleep in the building I live in, out of the cold and off the streets, but they refused, asking if I could instead let them sleep inside of my studio flat.
I declined, as I didn't know them and felt uncomfortable offering to sleep in the same room as someone i didn't know, although I offered to put a matress or sofa in a sheltered hall outside for them.
Now I find myself unable to sleep.  Would it not have been the christian/moral thing to do to have forgotten my fears/prejudice against said person and given them a place to sleep.

Nowadays do we all hold stereotypes to heart?

[thetank]

I don't think it's such a bad thing that you refused.

You talked to him for a wee whiley, perhaps helped him feel a little more human for a time.

Trusting him into your flat is quite another thing entirely. Drug and/or alcohol addiction is a fierce master, it can turn seemingly nice genuine people into those that would betray your trust without a second thought.

I knew a lady who used to go round my home town handing out soup to the homeless whenever it was raining, snowing or just very cold. She built up relationships with them over many years, getting on very well with the majority. She tells me that although she's often been tempted, she would never invite any of them to sleep in her flat for the night, no matter how much her compassion may have tempted her to do so.

It wasn't so much a stereotype she held, but if one of them ripped her off, she wouldn't be in a mental place where she could help the others in the future. She felt it prudent not to allow the risk.

She didn't have any problems sleeping at night.

I think you did the right thing, and hope you get some kip soon.

[madasahatstand]

you did the right thing. i would even have suggested not to let the person sleep in your building. if he had nowhere to stay he would have taken the offer. i agree with tank and im a big softie when it comes to inequality. one point is that often people find themselves homel;ess as a result of alcohol or drugs. some find themselves homeless because of family splits which is very sad and find drugs or alcohol. mental illness is another factor for the homeless.
you did well giving your time. the next time bring something to eat. i would never give cash either. if a person overdosed on drugs with my money id be devastated so food is better.

mad

[littlemissC]

josh is that who you were talking to when i saw you last night?

[charmaine]

Today I spent 1 and a half hours talking to a homless person I met.
Personally I understand why they drink or do drugs do help with their existance but also understand those who disagree with it.
I offered said person a place to sleep in the building I live in, out of the cold and off the streets, but they refused, asking if I could instead let them sleep inside of my studio flat.
I declined, as I didn't know them and felt uncomfortable offering to sleep in the same room as someone i didn't know, although I offered to put a matress or sofa in a sheltered hall outside for them.
Now I find myself unable to sleep.  Would it not have been the christian/moral thing to do to have forgotten my fears/prejudice against said person and given them a place to sleep.

Nowadays do we all hold stereotypes to heart?

What you did was great Josh , i wouldnt take the chance of letting him stay in my house though, i have a bunch of kids and have to think of there safety.

[smithy69]

Fair play to you mate. Alot of people wouldn't chat to a homeless person, let alone offer them a place to stay. Fair play big man.

I have story about homeless people that people might be interested in.

I went to school in a small town on the outskirts of Cambridge, and although it hasn't got the best reputation around here its not all bad. Basically my sister's best friend got involved with a bad crowd, and although her family and mine made a huge effort to get her to stay away from them she refused point blank. I knew what these people were like and they would rob a granny for a £1. It ended up with her moving out at the age of 16, and being terribly addicted to drugs. She lived in drug dens, empty houses, and on the streets. Basically where ever she fell, she slept. I remember sitting in a doorway in Cambridge town centre whilst my mates carried on to a club on my birthday, just so she felt a little bit safer(I know this sounds silly as she lived on the streets). I offered her a room for the night at mine, but she refused point blank. I ended up taking her for some food and a hot drink, as to be honest their was nothing else I could really do.

My sister never gave up on her though, and always tried to make sure she had a hot meal in her stomach at the very least. Offering her money was no good as this would be spent on any narcotic she could get her hands on.Basically about 18 months ago she made contact with her family for the 1st time in a year. They got her to a rehab centre, and I believe as best to my knowledge she has been clean since.

What makes this story, is the fact that 4 months ago she appeared in Loaded magazine. She has gone on to do modelling (not topless) and is making a career for herself. I still see her quite alot, and she is a amazing person. She has told me stories that people simply wouldnt believe, and if you spoke to her you would never believe the story I just told.!!!

People never gave up on her and I think this is the biggest problem. The people who never make it off the streets are people who no one cares about.

Sorry to write such a long email, just thought that people might wanna hear that story

[Josh]

People never gave up on her and I think this is the biggest problem.

I really do hopw that's a typo.
Noone deserves to be given up on, especially just because they have no home to go to.

I understand alot of people don't like giving homeless people money, because they may spend it on drugs, but I have never had a problem with it, because alot of people don't understand why they do drugs.
Although there are alot of homeless people out there that lie and don't have problems, many of them do drugs because it is unberable to soberly deal with the life they have to lead.

I ended up going back out to try and find said homeless person to no avail.
I understand why anyone with a family wouldn't let a homeless person into their house, obviously, as they have a family to protect, which comes above everything, but I live alonr, and a few times I have given homeless people a place to sleep in my flat...and stayed awake while they slept, as to me it's not a huge problem. I , perosnally feel absolutely guilty if I do nothing for people as it upsets me that certain people waste opportunities in life, and yet these people have none. Even though the majority may not be sincere, i've spent so many hours talking to homeless people and heard some truelly gorrifying stories of young girls being abused by partners and having cigarettes put out on their bodies.



and I'm not sure Fran, it was near the shop where I met the guy though.

[smithy69]

Sorry mate

I meant that people never gave up on her, and I believe this is why she got out of the situation, and is now doing so well.

[thediceman]

Now I find myself unable to sleep.  Would it not have been the christian/moral thing to do to have forgotten my fears/prejudice against said person and given them a place to sleep.

It would be so easy to say, don't beat yourself up about this but the thing is it such characterists you display that have meant you have done so much more than others would. Many people never get beyond good intentions for whatever reason whereas you have, and tried to do on this occassion. The only supportive comment I can make is that you can't always help everybody. On this occassion the person declined you other.

I remember when I travelled around the UK and Europe hitchhiking going from gig to gig that on at least four occassions strangers gave my shelter for the night. I even recall a time in Holland when a guy and his friends put me up for 3 days and gave me my own key. Whilst I know this is a tad different as I didn't carry the stigma of being homeless it was just heartening that you could meet people who showed you compasion which happens far to rarely these days. Like yourself Josh I've heard some horror stories and they certainly provide some perspective to ones life and the issue of what a problem really is.   

[bolt pp]

quote by josh:

I understand alot of people don't like giving homeless people money, because they may spend it on drugs, but I have never had a problem with it, because alot of people don't understand why they do drugs.
Although there are alot of homeless people out there that lie and don't have problems, many of them do drugs because it is unberable to soberly deal with the life they have to lead.

[/quote]


I feel exactly the same.

I've got no problem with giving homeless people money, irrespective of what i  suspect they're going to spend it on.

People should remember that most of them are adults and are capable of making their own choices(homeless people are not the only ones addicted to drugs). I dont want to patronize anyone in this way, who am i to?

I find it hilairious when people that activley make a choice not to give a couple of quid to a begger think that their actualy doing the guy a favour because he'll only spend it on drugs.

They need a solid foundation on which to rebuild their lives, starting with a place of perminent accomadation.

They need subsequent help in re-intergrating themselfs into an enviroment that involves sustaining and maintaining an accomadation.

They need a continual support network to address drug, alcohol, or mental health problems from which they currently suffer.

If, in not giving them a couple of quid when you see them, you are not in a position to provide the afoementioned structure of rehabilitation, then in actuality all your doing is allowing the horror of homelessness for another unfortunate guy, to be expeirianced in its most unwelcome of vivid forms for another night.

[matt674]

They need a solid foundation on which to rebuild their lives, starting with a place of perminent accomadation.

They need subsequent help in re-intergrating themselfs into an enviroment that involves sustaining and maintaining an accomadation.

A lot of the homeless people though will not accept help in finding accomodation. There is plenty of it about - trust me i spent 6 months in a homeless persons hostel when i was 18 and there were always rooms available. However a lot of these hostels require that the person be signed up to the dole and not begging on the streets. All the people who i tried to introduce to the hostel said that they were "earning" far more living on the streets and didnt want to know.

[yt]

Talk to 'em - yes
feed 'em - yes
give 'em some cash - maybe
Let them sleep in my flat - No way

you did nothing wrong mate let it go. what if you wake up being buggered? What if you wake up with a knife to your throat? What if you wake up robbed? It might not happen but why take the risk.

He's not homeless because of you.

[bolt pp]

"feed em"  would that be from a bowl or straight out of a can?

[yt]

"feed em"  would that be from a bowl or just straight out of a can?

either so long as it's not on my doorstep.

[Peter Costa]

You may recall my recent post (Madness and Desperation) in which I tell the story of having just $3 in my pocket and starving while in LA. Well......a few years later in 2003, I was back at the Commerce Casino. I was either playing 100-200 or 200-400 Stud and doing nicely thanks. In fact, although I loved Stud Poker anyway, the game allows sick smokers like myself to just pop outside and smoke without missing blinds etc etc. Anyway, around 5am, I am outside having a smoke when a homeless guy begins making his way towards me. With a very slow and unthreatening manner, and with head slightly bowed, he begins to ask me if I could spare any money for food.

There was something in his manner that was very endearing. Although he was unkempt with long hair that had not been washed for god knows how long, I still felt that there was something special about this guy. I would say that he was around his late twenties or even early thirties (it was hard to tell in those rags that he was wearing). Anyway… I reached into my pocket and found some singles and a $10 bill. I handed him the little wad. His reaction really put things into perspective.

He took the money and began to sheepishly walk away. I then caught him taking a peak back and sort of silently mimed the words “thank you, thank you”. As he turned back around, he looked to the heavens and raised his firsts in celebration. I could almost sense his thanks to god.

Knowing how much those few $$$ meant, I dashed back to the table and took a C note before dashing back out in the hope that he was still there. Sadly, I could not see him anywhere. I felt guilty that day. Each night after that for the next cpuple weeks that I was there, I hoped that he would come back. For some reason, I just cannot forget that encounter.

As for putting things into perspective? Earlier that day, I had watched Tiger Wood take down another major golf event and celebrate in almost the exact same fashion - makes you wonder doesn’t it?