Kids

[RED-DOG]

Nothing to do with poker but it made me laugh

Mrs Red was in one of the local charity shops when she noticed that ?Operation? game, you know, the one where children have to remove bits of a dummy?s anatomy through little slits cut into its body using tweezers, if you touch the sides of the opening during the process a buzzer sounds and the dummy?s nose lights up, then it?s the next players turn. Mrs Red thought this would keep the grandkids quiet for a while when they came to visit, so she bought it.

The next time my daughter brought her girls (aged 5 and 3) over, Mrs Red produced the ?Operation? game. They loved it, and they sat in a corner with it totally engrossed

Enter my Nephew John, who is older than the girls, but not so old that he didn?t want a go at the operation game, still all seemed well until my eldest grand daughter suddenly shouted ?LEAVE HER MINGE ON.? Tea was spluttered and adult jaws dropped to the floor; we all listened in shocked silence, what kind of game was this?

After a couple of screams and more cries of ?LEAVE HER MINGE ON? I could stand it no longer, I went to investigate, ?What?s happening girls?? I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer, ?Oh? my grand daughter replied,  ?John keeps trying to take the kidneys out and it?s too hard, I?ve told him to leave em in?

?LEAVE EM IN JOHN?

Phew!!

[North Angel]

LMAO Kids are so funny.

Excellent Red 

[Robert HM]

Splutter!!!         

[Trace]

OMG!    PMSL!!!!!

FANTASTIC POST!!!!!

[ariston]

Choking on coffee moment, need to clean monitor now

[TightEnd]

Not as funny as Red-Dog's (what could be funnier than Red Dog's!!!??? )

but last weekend my five year old daughter was with me

My next door neighbours have wanted a family for ages with much heartache, and after a long wait were able to adopt. The little baby boy, who is black (the couple being caucasian), arrived for the first time a week ago

we happened to meet out front last weekend when Mrs Neighbour said to my daughter "would you like to hold our new baby?". my daughter trotted next door for a quick go! She looked puzzled but like a little trooper lavished the little baby with affection

On leaving and sitting in my front room she asked...

" Daaaaaaad (with a very exaggerated vowel), was Annie's baby born while they were on holiday?"

[Robert HM]

Kids are so wonderful..... except when they embarras you )

[ariston]

The problem with kids is they miss nothing and repeat everything. My first experience of this was when I first got divorced and had a four year old asking his mum what an alcoholic was." Daddy and Nanny said you were a wino and an alcoholic when they thought I was asleep in the car- what does it mean? " Get yourself out of that one 

[RED-DOG]

Granddaughter standing on bathroom scales "Grandad, what time is my feet?"

[RED-DOG]

Me, baby sitting, unable to find babys bottle "Orange alert for babys bottle" small voice replys "Orange won't hurt for anyones bottle"

[BlueWolf]

lmao what a topic i can totally understand kids droppin you in it my 2 are always doing it to me lol

[Trace]

Yep, my two too - both boys Age 14 and 9 - cept at the mo they are dropping me in it with the Police!!!!

I've lost count how many times our local bobby and his side-kick have knocked on my door since the school holidays started.  I wouldn't mind so much, but they are just being kids - not like they are putting windows through or burning cars or muggin old ladies  -  well not yet anyway!!!

[ariston]

Intrigued now. What part of just being kids means the police knock at your door?

[Trace]

The bit where the neighbours moan they are playing football on the grass outside their house, this is grass I played on when I was little and that has been there longer than they have, and belongs to the local council NOT them.  The bit where the side-kick (police)confuses my eldest with one of his friends and comes round to give him a referral, only to leave the house rather red in the face.  The bit where said neighbour's daughter decides to report them for throwing litter in her dad's garden when said litter was on previously mentioned grass, and said daughter started throwing it at them and calling them all the names under the sun - said daughter looked a right chump when police went back to have words with her!

Needless to say myself and said neighbours have history, all cos I have a posh driveway and they can't have one cos I stopped them getting said grass removed.  Oh and said neighbour and wife are fiddling the social for benefits, and will get their comeuppance soon!

OK RANT OVER!!  Unless you want me to tell you about said neighbour and his video camera?  lmao

[ariston]

Video camera? Do we want to know? Course we do!