Childrens' Letters to God

[TightEnd]

Before you dismiss this as religious stuff, hold on a minute

I heard about a book entitled "Childrens letters to God" in which kids were asked to write a letter to God (odd, given the title) and how funny the book was meant to be

I won't go all goo-ey about my kids, suffice to say that they sometimes come out with the funniest things


anyway here are some of my favourites in this book


Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do.  Who does it when You are on vacation?  -Jane

Dear GOD,
I read the Bible.  What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me.  Love, Alison

Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? Lucy

Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?  -Jane

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?  -Nan

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
 
Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.  -Joyce

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.  -Bruce

Dear GOD,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.  -Denise

Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.  -Sam

Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me.  I always look both ways.  - Dean

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world.  There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.  -Nan
 
Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?  -Marsha

Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. Mickey D.

Dear GOD:
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.  -Eddie

Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.  -Charles

Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.  That was cool! -DJ
 

[MrMoves]

That is superb.

[happybhoy]

Kinda in the same vein, these always make me laugh

http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_fun_pages/analogies.html

[Graham C]

Kids come out with some great stuff

Do you remember that Noel Edmunds program years ago when they got children to describe what words ment - excellent stuff.

[MrMoves]

My boy has started singing the Renault Megane advert.

#I see you baby, shakin' that ass

Very funny & embarrassing.

[RED-DOG]

My granddaughter stepping on bathroom scales "What time is my feet mam?"

[RED-DOG]

Same granddaughter, "I know it like the back of my head"

[BigTomatoes]

 yeah i read a few of these in the paper today - i think its the innocence in their thoughts which is funny.

 a thing i find funny is the '' out the mouth babes '' section in a magazine about funny things women say.

 i should have sent one in my mum came out with. we were sitting eating pizza one night - spicy chicken and chillis

 my mum said '' they al pacino peppers are very hot arent they ? '' 

[Ironside]

they were talikng about this on five live last night, they got the punters to text in adult questions to th devil