I never thought I would say this...

[Poppet7]

I've spoken to Leon since and he has started his single life already, he is going out for a drink with the woman that has been the problem all along. So I've made the first move and started packing my things up, I'm going to go to my Mums (even though she is away this weekend) and try and get over this. It's broken my heart, but, I'm sure I'll get over it in time.

[thetank]

Rule #1 - Don't concern yourself with what he's up to. It's the motorway fast lane to insanity.

[Poppet7]

Rule #1 - Don't concern yourself with what he's up to. It's the motorway fast lane to insanity.

I was guilty of that just this minute. It's hard.

[mikkyT]

Thats the spirit. No words will provide you any comfort at the moment, because it will feel like your world is crashing down and nobody can feel the way you do. But, I speak for most of us when I say that we have all been there and we do know how you feel.

Depression won't solve anything and although its perfectly natural to feel depressed, you will pick yourself up I'm sure of it. Because you have to. Your're young... too young to be tied into a relationship and certainly too young to be in a relationship that on the face of it looks like its been bad for a while. You were too young when you started dating and you've spent the last 5 years with the same guy, theres lots you have missed out on already. So get out there and do something for YOU. Don't concern yourself with what hes doing, because hes a guy and he will be going to do what guys do. Thats a fact. So get out there and do what poppet wants to do - which is your next hurdle. You need to think carefully about what you want to do - there must be things you haven't done yet that you should like to do. Before Uni, even going to uni. You're a free spirit.

[Nem]

...but Leon and I have split up. He 'dumped' me at around 9am this morning whilst I was at work and has made it clear that there's no hope for us now. I'm sad as I've spent my whole adult life with him, and 5 and a half years of my life. I am still in Canterbury for now, we have to have a talk about things like me moving out of his parents house. I think I'll end up at my Mums sleeping on the floor for the moment.

I suppose we just weren't meant to be.

Sad Poppet x

You should be relieved not sad.

Now get your ass in University and get drunk tonight.

[mikkyT]

Spot the theme yet poppet? I think everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet here! A blonde first surely

If you want some real words of comfort, just imagine that there is always someone else worse off than yourself. You glass is half full, and its up to you to fill it even more.

Just imagine coming home after a period of enforced absense, holiday, call it what you will... to find your partner gone, half your belongings sold or otherwise missing and nursing a rather large set of debts. Then you find out that not only have they moved in with another person, they did it only a couple of weeks after your enforced absense began. And never bothered to tell you. Although you had your suspisions, having them confirmed is still such a kick in the gonads.

Now take it a little further, and factor in 5 years of marriage, most of them happy, with 3 children to think about.

I'm not trying to belittle your problems because to you they will seem like two worlds have collided, especially at a young age. But in the grand scheme of things, you will bounce back from this a much better and stronger independant woman. As Arnie said, shit happens. Its how we deal with it than makes us who we are.

peace out.

[mikkyT]

I've just read that back to myself and it hasn't come out quite how I had liked! Sounds like I'm trying to say that some problems are worse than yours. What I was trying to say what that you should look on the bright side, be relieved instead of sad and take the time to reflect. Be glad you weren't married or, god forbid, had kids to consider too!

I'm not going to edit my post because you know exactly how I intended it to be.

[Nem]

I've just read that back to myself and it hasn't come out quite how I had liked! Sounds like I'm trying to say that some problems are worse than yours. What I was trying to say what that you should look on the bright side, be relieved instead of sad and take the time to reflect. Be glad you weren't married or, god forbid, had kids to consider too!

I'm not going to edit my post because you know exactly how I intended it to be.

I understood where you were coming from.

I hope you work things out at your end Mikky

[mikkyT]

I'll be fine Nem. Its easy to say "Im a guy I can take it" but that would be arrogant and stupid - just like most guys Seriously though I'll be fine. And whats more, I know I have friends that I hadn't realised I had before which helped me. Its been 3 months now and its much easier.

Its not the first relationship thats come to a bitter end and it probably won't be the last. In the younger years things feel a hell of a lot worse. Learning to deal with things is part of lifes learning curve I guess.

[turny]

Spot the theme yet poppet? I think everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet here! A blonde first surely

If you want some real words of comfort, just imagine that there is always someone else worse off than yourself. You glass is half full, and its up to you to fill it even more.

Just imagine coming home after a period of enforced absense, holiday, call it what you will... to find your partner gone, half your belongings sold or otherwise missing and nursing a rather large set of debts. Then you find out that not only have they moved in with another person, they did it only a couple of weeks after your enforced absense began. And never bothered to tell you. Although you had your suspisions, having them confirmed is still such a kick in the gonads.

Now take it a little further, and factor in 5 years of marriage, most of them happy, with 3 children to think about.

I'm not trying to belittle your problems because to you they will seem like two worlds have collided, especially at a young age. But in the grand scheme of things, you will bounce back from this a much better and stronger independant woman. As Arnie said, shit happens. Its how we deal with it than makes us who we are.

peace out.

micky may i ask you? your  enforced absense was it unjust? were you innocent of the crime?

[turny]

poppet

so sad to hear about you and leon splitting up. break ups are never easy but get easier to accept with time trust me.

you're doing the best thing getting out as soon as you can because it sounds like leon is hell bent on hurting you as much as he can by acting the way he is.

be strong poppet and you ll be ok

paul x

[mikkyT]

Spot the theme yet poppet? I think everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet here! A blonde first surely

If you want some real words of comfort, just imagine that there is always someone else worse off than yourself. You glass is half full, and its up to you to fill it even more.

Just imagine coming home after a period of enforced absense, holiday, call it what you will... to find your partner gone, half your belongings sold or otherwise missing and nursing a rather large set of debts. Then you find out that not only have they moved in with another person, they did it only a couple of weeks after your enforced absense began. And never bothered to tell you. Although you had your suspisions, having them confirmed is still such a kick in the gonads.

Now take it a little further, and factor in 5 years of marriage, most of them happy, with 3 children to think about.

I'm not trying to belittle your problems because to you they will seem like two worlds have collided, especially at a young age. But in the grand scheme of things, you will bounce back from this a much better and stronger independant woman. As Arnie said, shit happens. Its how we deal with it than makes us who we are.

peace out.

micky may i ask you? your  enforced absense was it unjust? were you innocent of the crime?

Guilty as charged. Whether or not I think the sentence was unfair, I am not declaring my innocence. Its true what they say in jail however. Those who are married or have partners are doing two sentences. One physically and one mentally. You have to adjust your brain into a certain mindset, not just to fit in with jail routine, but to stop thinking about life outside - and this is infinitely more difficult if you have a partner to think about.

As to the crime, I have my reasons for feeling unjustly treated - however this applies to the incidents that led up to me being sentenced. It all boils down to the fact that if I wasn't caught driving disqualified I would never have done time. But there are other circumstances that lead to the rather large sentence that I'm not entirely comfortable airing on a public forum

[Snatiramas]

Give it time Poppet...............just remember you have a whole load of people on here who care about you and will support you. We all know what a wonderful warm and giving person you are just from your posts.

The right person will come along and probably when you are least expecting to find them.

In the mean time get out now find a good book and lose yourself in it.

[madasahatstand]

keep your chin up poppet. it will ease with time. honest! a broken heart is not an easy thing to deal with. ive experienced it but not in your circumstances. once the heat and emotion calms down, you will feel a little more settled. get yourself distracted and busy. did leon read the forum?


micky
i didnt know about what happened to you. im really sorry to hear it. are you still in touch with the kids? you dont look old enough to have a 5 year marriage

[madasahatstand]

Rule #1 - Don't concern yourself with what he's up to. It's the motorway fast lane to insanity.

this man talks sense!!