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Author Topic: Best way to get people off your back about gambling  (Read 6373 times)
Sark79
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« on: October 04, 2006, 07:05:27 PM »

For some annoying reason, people ( friends, family and people I hardly know ) seem to think I have a gambling problem.  I don't have a gambling problem.  I don't know how to put a bet on at the bookies and can't even read a betting slip.  I only play online poker at small limits.

Today I met friends for lunch and I got asked constantly about poker,  "how much do you win?" ,  "how much do you lose?" ,  " why do you play?",  "what makes you think you can win and beat others?".  I know this is genuine concern and their way of helping me ( I don't need help  Cheesy ) ,  but regardless of what I said, in their view gambling is destructive and poker is as bad as any form.  I was actually getting abit pissed off at them.  I dropped out of University a couple of weeks ago and they are convinced the reason is linked with my poker playing.  I quit Uni because I found it very boring and I didn't enjoy my Geography course at Strathclyde, no other reason.

I met a couple of former lectureres on the way home and they started on the same rant about my gambling problem.  The annoying thing is whatever comebacks I have, it is just black and white as far as they are concerned. Gambling is bad, poker is bad. End of Story..

I am close to being disowned by everyone now  Cheesy.   I hate comments like " if you are not addicted to poker, then take 1 month off and don't play".  I obviously don't want to do this, it is my intention to get good and win large games. Money is not a motivation for me to be honest,  my goal is to win famous tournaments like the EPT and WPT.  If I was a wannabe tennis player, I would be wished good luck and given support.  I am abit annoyed with everyone right now.  My phone is off and my door ain't getting answered for the rest of the night. I am just waiting for the gamblers anonymous leaflet to be slipped under my door by a person thinking they are doing me a good turn.

I don't want to fall out with everyone over this, and I am trying my hardest to keep cool while they are asking their stupid questions repeatedly. However it can get very boring answering the same question time and time again. Friends, family and others won't leave me alone.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2006, 07:08:13 PM by Sark79 » Logged
Dewi_cool
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« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2006, 07:19:39 PM »

Sark, If you need help with your addiction/problem PM me
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The very last hand of the night goes to Dewi James, who finds ACES and talks Raymond O’Mahoney into calling his all-in preflop bet of 15k.  “If I had AQ, I’d call!” says Dewi.  Raymond calls holding pocket 66’s.


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« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2006, 07:24:37 PM »

were all here for you mate
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Scottish Dave
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« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2006, 07:24:48 PM »

Sark, admitting your problem is the first step on the read to recovery mate, just let it out!
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Sark79
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« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2006, 07:25:28 PM »

Don't you lot start  Cheesy
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byronkincaid
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« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2006, 07:26:26 PM »

Just try to take it a day at a time mate. Maybe you could get someone to change all your passwords or something.
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Scottish Dave
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« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2006, 07:28:15 PM »

Sark mate, here is the Questionaire from GA, if you get more that 7 yes' your friends are correct:

1  Did you ever lose time from work/school due to gambling?

2 Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?

3 Did gambling affect your reputation?

4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?

5. Did you ever gamblle to win money to pay back debts?

6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition/efficiency?

7. After losing did you feel you must return asap to win it back?

8. After a win do you have a strong urge to return and win more?

9 Did you gamble until your last dollar was gone?

10 Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?

11 Have you ever sold anytihng to finance your gambling?

12 Were you reluctant to use gambling money for everyday purchases?

13 Did gambling make you care of your/your family's welfare?

14 Did you gamble often longer than you had planned?

15 Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?

16 Have you ever committed an illegal act to finance gambling?

17 Has gambling caused you difficulty sleeping?

18 Do arguments and disappointments create within you the urge to gamble?

19 Did you ever celebrate good fortune by gambling?

20 Has gambling ever led you to contemplate suicide?
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Sark79
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« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2006, 07:30:38 PM »

lol,  I think all of us on blonde would score over 7 on that one . 



Edit, I  misunderstood one question  - I scored 4 
« Last Edit: October 04, 2006, 07:40:05 PM by Sark79 » Logged
moritzey
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« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2006, 07:37:34 PM »

Only got two. I clearly spend too little time with you kids..
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Wardonkey
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« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2006, 07:42:02 PM »

Sark,

A few random thoughts for you;

They're probably more concerned at your dropping out of uni than your gambling. You can't give a reason that satisfies them so them so they rationalise it by blaming your poker playing.They are worried about you and need some reassurance that you are capable of being succesful at something. These people are your friends try not to cut them off.

To my regret I needlessly blew my chances at a university education. My penance was to spend ten tiresome years working in the casino industry. I was lucky that my decision to give up work was supported by my friends and family. I am pragmatic about my poker career, if I can make a good living and be in control of my own decisions then I'm happy.

Aiming to be a poker superstar may not be the most sensible of approaches. It probably won't happen. Even if it does happen you'll need another focus in your life to keep you sane.

Ask yourself some questions: How long have you been playing? How much have you played? (Not the same thing) How successful have you been so far?

You chose to do the uni course and said that you found it boring. Are you sure you don't find it boring because you find poker more interesting? Your friends concerns are valid, at least in their own eyes.

If you have to get a job now you will have less time to play poker than if you were studying.

Lecture over. Good luck whatever you do.







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« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2006, 07:52:54 PM »

Chin up Sark, don't let the non believers get you down.

The word 'poker' is always going to ring alarm bells for those who are ignorant about the game. You can't put people who have 'closed' minds at ease about your motives for playing so you're better off letting everyone know where you stand and just accepting that they've made up their mind about the subject already (often with little or no thought). Trying to share the beauty of a game like poker with people who see 'gambling' as demonic (while they themselves invest in stocks/shares etc) is a bit of a lost cause.

I 'play the player'. I tell my father I'm off for a game of cards with mates (knowing he'll smile and think about his days of travelling the country gambling in his younger days) I stress the social side to my mother (she likes to know I'm enjoying my time with friends in regular home games, having the odd win and well out of reach of knife weilding gangs) With friends (Including non players) I can share my thoughts and feelings about the game and the people. Over the past few years poker has provided me with some of the funniest moments In my life. If those around me started to offer unwanted/unwarranted 'advice'/opinions I'd happily tell them it's probably best we don't raise the subject as there'd be no 'middle ground'. That someone said you couldn't stop playing for a month is a bit of a joke. Take a break when YOU want to take a break. 'The Game' will still be here but don't do it to 'prove' you don't have a problem. False thinking, methinks. Did they preface their statement with 'I'll bet you couldn't...' If so you could tut,tut, shake your head and ask them in grave tones whether they had a 'gambling problem'.

Bit longer than Dewi's reply and not half as funny but those are the thoughts I had.

Smiley

« Last Edit: October 04, 2006, 07:55:31 PM by BrumBilly » Logged
Sark79
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« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2006, 07:54:55 PM »

I didn't quit to play poker,  I know I am a fish right now and couldn't support myself even for a week from any winnings I make  Cheesy .  I just want a change and to get a job instead

When I went to see my contact at the Uni to quit, I was advised to opt for 1 year voluntary suspension rather than pulling the plug completely. I did this and if I have changed my mind next October then I will have the option of moving into year 3 like I would have this month.

I agree with you and know they are just concerned, but I wish I could find a quick answer which would stop me getting abuse each time I see anyone ( friendly caring abuse, but annoying abuse nonetheless  Cheesy )
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Sark79
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« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2006, 08:00:07 PM »

Chin up Sark, don't let the non believers get you down.

The word 'poker' is always going to ring alarm bells for those who are ignorant about the game. You can't put people who have 'closed' minds at ease about your motives for playing so you're better off letting everyone know where you stand and just accepting that they've made up their mind about the subject already (often with little or no thought). Trying to share the beauty of a game like poker with people who see 'gambling' as demonic (while they themselves invest in stocks/shares etc) is a bit of a lost cause.

I 'play the player'. I tell my father I'm off for a game of cards with mates (knowing he'll smile and think about his days of travelling the country gambling in his younger days) I stress the social side to my mother (she likes to know I'm enjoying my time with friends in regular home games, having the odd win and well out of reach of knife weilding gangs) With friends (Including non players) I can share my thoughts and feelings about the game and the people. Over the past few years poker has provided me with some of the funniest moments In my life. If those around me started to offer unwanted/unwarranted 'advice'/opinions I'd happily tell them it's probably best we don't raise the subject as there'd be no 'middle ground'. That someone said you couldn't stop playing for a month is a bit of a joke. Take a break when YOU want to take a break. 'The Game' will still be here but don't do it to 'prove' you don't have a problem. False thinking, methinks. Did they preface their statement with 'I'll bet you couldn't...' If so you could tut,tut, shake your head and ask them in grave tones whether they had a 'gambling problem'.

Bit longer than Dewi's reply and not half as funny but those are the thoughts I had.

Smiley




thanks boss

I just say it is a hobby, but I always get  " If it's just a hobby, you should be able to give it up".  I never tell anyone to give up watching football or playing a round of golf
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BrumBilly
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« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2006, 08:03:06 PM »

Good luck next year. Assuming your 3rd year will be your final year then you've already done most of the hard work and for 9mths more study you could get that bit of paper. I don't know you but if a mate asked for advice on whether or not to bite the bullet and qualify in a subject they'd fallen out of love with I'd say follow through. The degree subject isn't important, it's more about making the statement to future employers that you lasted the course.

Within 2wks of starting a PGCE I knew I didn't want to teach in secondary schools but figured I'd be better off finishing the year and getting the qualification (especially ).given my crap cv

My two penneth, gl Smiley
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Graham C
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« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2006, 08:03:15 PM »

Move to London and once you've earnt loads of poker money and are surrounded by poker babes, send them a postcard Cheesy

There's no way to convince someone that's got a fixed negative image in their mind about a typical poker player that it's not all sad stories and that you aren't one of them.  They're the ones that need to change - open up a bit.  To a certain extent, I get the same - the people I know aren't anti gambling, but they all comment about the poker playing and are shocked at the money I play for.  If they knew that my limits were nothing in the scheme of things, they'd have kittens!  I don't tell them about the guys that sit with thousands in real money (even if it's only dollars Wink) playing.

Poker getting more coverage will help you.  Once they realise that it's actually a common and fun game, they may even try it themselves.
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